Writers Success

Discussion in 'General Writing' started by sprirj, Nov 11, 2009.

  1. Daryl

    Daryl New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Spartanburg, SC
    how do you go about overcoming your fear of rejection and failure in life..i mean fear can be crippling and cause your entire body to shut down, stopping you from taking risks and working on your goals. is there any thing you can do to overcome this problem..i personally fear that i am not capable of writing and incredible book and because of that i tend to not be inspired or follow through with what i have started....:(
     
  2. Backbiter

    Backbiter Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2011
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Illinois
    You're not alone in this, my friend. I'm almost positive that nearly every writer - or every anything - goes through this at some point. I myself have had to overcome this multiple times.

    The way that I've tried to reason with myself is by deciding that it is better to have attempted to succeed and have failed than to have never even tried in the first place. If there's even the slightest chance of success, then it's better than sitting around and not even trying at all. I know it can be tough sometimes, but you have to kindle that fire of passion that you have for your work and let it take you where you never thought that you could go. More often than not, you'll surprise yourself by succeeding. If not, you should come away from the experience wiser and learning from any mistakes made.

    Another thing that I find helpful is when I have honest, loyal friends to encourage me as I go along. In my opinion, rough patches are always easier to get through with a good friend by your side.

    I really hope this helped.
     
  3. Daryl

    Daryl New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Spartanburg, SC
    :)...sure makes a whole lot of sense
     
  4. Kallithrix

    Kallithrix Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2011
    Messages:
    390
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    UK
    This same darkness awaits every writer in the wee small hours, Daryl. Every time someone praises my work I undermine them by pointing out all the stuff that sucks about it. At the weekend I even asked my agent whether she took me on because she thought I could write well or just because she was doing me a favour. Fear of writing complete gobshite makes me not want to hand in my work until I'm completely happy with it, which I never am. Deadlines get missed, and sometimes the work never materialises at all. But I am determined not to do that this time. I just have to trust in my agent to tell me whether it sucks or not, and if so give me feedback to help me improve. Unless you find the self discipline and fortitude to see your endeavours through to conclusion, there is no chance of success, there is only fail.
     
  5. Miss Jo

    Miss Jo New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2012
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    "Just believe in yourself " sounds lame and is a cliche but it's true. If you don't like what you write then you can't expect anyone else too. It is scary putting your work out there and no one can erase that for you. My advice is just take a deep breath and hit the Send button.

    For me personally I've NOT done enough things in my life that I have come to look back on and think "why didn't I just..." I don't regret (or I try not to dwell on it anyway) I just make a decision NOW to not let it pass me by again.

    For writing purposes I would advise you read a lot of the posts on here critiquing others works. You will learn that this is a pretty safe place to air your works in case you don't have someone in your life who can offer you the support or critiquing you need. You will see some posts that are maybe a little rough, some are totally random, but for the absolute majority every one here has felt the same way you feel about their writing. You will learn how to pick out the comments that are meant to be constructive and the ones that are meant for someone who just loves to hear the sound of their own fingers typing.

    In the end if you don't try, you can't move forward. It's all a work in progress for all of us.
     
  6. MegTheLedge

    MegTheLedge New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2012
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Under a fuzzy hat
    I have a serious fear of failure problem. What I've learned to do to get over it is to not care about what people may think of my writing until after it's written. I write things that I would want to read, and as soon as it becomes something I don't want to read, then I know I need to change direction or stop altogether. Don't let fear judge you, let your own taste in literature judge you.
     
  7. picklzzz

    picklzzz New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2011
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Florida
    Hi Daryl,

    I could have written the same post just six months ago! Seriously, my whole life, I let fear rule me in a lot of things. A friend suggested I start small with some short stories. What really motivated me was entering contests like they have on this forum. They give you a topic and it gave me a real sense of purpose. I got more and more creative as I went, and i can proudly say (proud of myself for trying to overcome my fears) that I have written over twenty-six short stories in the past four or five months. I have sixty pages of two novels started, but three more ideas going and a whole new novel I'm starting. If anything, it's enjoyable. I already love my current job (not as a writer), so I'm viewing it as fun. Sure, I hope I get published, but I'm taking that out of my head right now. Write for you! Write for fun. Then, if you get the courage, submit to a magazine. Don't focus on the novel now. It's like trying to climb Mt. Everest before even scaling a bunny hill or something. Start small and make sure you get the pleasure out of it. If not, it's not good for you and then you shouldn't do it!

    So, I submitted my first story and it got rejected. i thought it was the best thing I ever wrote (and still do), but I got rejected without explanation. I let it get me down for a few days, and sure it is scary, but people on here and in my real life were so supportive, I am over it. AT least I did it, and that's what counts. I may resubmit in time, but now I'm focusing on something else.

    I think though the bottom line is to start small. Also, read some books about writing and websites related for ideas. I found tons of websites by googling in "story ideas" and there's all kinds of generators with writing exercises to get the creative juices flowing. Now, i can't stop thinking of ideas, and fear no longer rules me!

    Good luck, and I hope we see some of your stories soon! (or when you're ready :)
     
  8. picklzzz

    picklzzz New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2011
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Florida
    I second what Miss Jo said about this forum. I used to go on an educational forum in my field, and no matter what I wrote, people slammed me and each other. It was disgusting. This forum is great! Everyone is very supportive and helpful and not once in the last several months since I've been on here has anyone been rude to me. It is a nice place to get your feet wet! It's done wonders for me!
     
  9. shakespear57

    shakespear57 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2012
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Wagga Wagga NSW Australia
    I have the same fear, but i have a reason for it - i've been writing stories since i could walk and every single one has been scorned by my family. Soon it caused major depression and I'm still struggling to get out of that. But I've kept on going. Now I've finished school (I quit at year ten) and I'm more determined than ever to write something that not only I but my family could be proud of. Dont let go. Keep on trying. One day ... one day you'll make something awesome :D
     
  10. jc.

    jc. Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2012
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Hi Daryl.

    As you've already been told, you are not alone in your fear. Everyone (and by this I mean any person with some kind of dream) experiences this at least once in their lives. I noticed that when I get hit with this, the only thing to do is to do it. Just keep going, even if it's just writing simple words, seeing your progress (even something short, like a paragraph) can snap you back to reality.

    As others have said, it's okay to be scared, but don't give up. I was told by an old teacher that the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Just remember that whenever you feel scared or overwhelmed, you are not alone. You will always find a helping hand in WF. ;)

    Best of luck!
    JC
     
  11. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    Well, it's not as if authors write something and promptly get published. I would guess that virtually all of them - so close to "all" as to make the exceptions irrelevant - had their writing rejected many, many times, and that before that they wrote huge quantities of writing that wasn't even good enough to submit to someone. So when you write something that you hate, or you submit something that gets rejected, that's an experience that you share with essentially every writer who was ever published.
     
  12. WordMagician2K

    WordMagician2K New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus,Ohio
    Well, I just roll with the punches! I try to work hard on my defense--so I can avoid getting hit(failure teach me to keep going to I finally succeed).

     
  13. Daryl

    Daryl New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2012
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Spartanburg, SC
    thanks for all the support guys..glad to know i'm not in this by myself..i'm taking it slow but i don't plan on quitting...that"s just not an option...:)
     
  14. Mordred85

    Mordred85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    75
    Of course, there's plenty of advice about taking things one step at a time and not worrying about self-publishing before writing your own book. However, that kind of advice temporarily relieves me from the constant brooding. It's like an itch that comes back and I can't get it away until I've scratched it away once more.

    Things I wonder about:
    1. Who the hell is actually going to pick out my book on 'amazon' for example and read it?
    2. How do you establish the discipline and confidence to write and complete an entire book?
    3. How does someone successfully promote their book if they suffer from anxiety and some symptoms of agoraphobia? Facebook and Goodreads? Do they really work or is it just another annoying post in a group for most people?


    Feel free to shed some light on my worries, as well as any worries you may come across before attempting a new project.
     
  15. NiallRoach

    NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    586
    Location:
    The middle of the UK
    1) Presumably, whomever you target your book at. Romance fans, if you're writing romance, for example.
    2) The same way you establish the discipline needed for any hobby (or job, if you want to frame it that way). If you're truly interested in it, you'll get there.
    3) If you're [theoretically] trade published, let your [theoretical] publisher worry about that. It's their job to market it, yours is to write it. That all changes if you self-publish, but that's one of the things you should be considering when thinking about whether or not self- or trade publishing suits you best.
     
  16. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,011
    Likes Received:
    419
    Location:
    Wirral, England
    Well ...

    This is why you should write for your own sheer enjoyment, and not particularly for a career move. The only thing you can do is learn, write, learn some more, then continue to write. If something comes of your work then great, but you really shouldn't worry about those things until it comes around.

    As for the anxiety. I've suffered from quite a severe anxiety disorder for the last year of my life, after being quite the extrovert socialite, so it's quite odd for me, and I've thought about similar things that you mentioned. But again, it's something I'm not worrying about at all, because I know that if I did ever get there, it won't be for a long time, and by then I'd have overcome my problems most likely.
     
  17. Mordred85

    Mordred85 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    75
    When it comes to being trade published, there's always the chance that you may not have the kind of material they're looking to publish. Can an agent or trade publisher dissect your work and send you back to re-write chapters etc? That wouldn't work well with me.
     
  18. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2014
    Messages:
    10,462
    Likes Received:
    11,689
    They might dissect your work and ask you to rewrite, but it's much more likely they'll just reject it if it doesn't fit their needs. They don't want to waste a lot of time on someone who can't handle being edited.

    In terms of your first set of questions? There's absolutely no guarantee anyone will ever read your book. There's even LESS of a guarantee they will if you aren't willing/able to listen to feedback from experts.

    So I agree with @The Mad Regent, at least in your case - you should write for your own enjoyment. (I don't really agree with the Regent across the board - I don't think there's anything wrong with some "you"s writing for the market or with an intention to profit. But for this specific "you"? Yeah, you should probably focus on your enjoyment of the process.
     
    plothog likes this.
  19. Rhys

    Rhys Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Wales, UK
    Excluding family, writing is my life. I love it. Without it, I don't know what I'd do.

    I want my work to be successful, of course I do, and I wouldn't mind making some decent money from it either, but really, even if everyone else hated my work, or thought I was a terrible writer, I'd still love my own work, and that's really the key thing.

    Write for yourself; not for anyone else. If success comes, then great. But write because you have a passion for it, and not for success or money, and you won't go far wrong.

    But that's just me.
     
    RachHP likes this.
  20. Tim3232

    Tim3232 Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2015
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    99
    Location:
    UK
    I don't expect to ever make any money from writing. I don't expect to be published - the odds are way too long. I'm going to enjoy trying because I enjoy writing.
    Do I worry about my project's future success - Nope. I think I will complete more books and I hope they continue to get better but I expect to reach a plateau and that will be well short of getting published. Won't stop me from trying but i won't worry about failing and I certainly won't worry about succeeding!
     
    The Mad Regent likes this.
  21. The Mad Regent

    The Mad Regent Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2015
    Messages:
    1,011
    Likes Received:
    419
    Location:
    Wirral, England
    If you browse the net, you will see in a lot of articles that authors say, thinking about money dulls creativity, and they're right.

    The minute you start thinking about what publishers and the general public want, the minute you begin to limit your creative boundaries.

    Write for the enjoyment, and if you're good, something will come of it.
     
  22. NiallRoach

    NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    586
    Location:
    The middle of the UK
    They absolutely can, that doesn't mean they will. It doesn't mean you have to do what they tell you, either. If you'd rather let the contract fall through, so be it.
     
  23. NiallRoach

    NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    586
    Location:
    The middle of the UK
    As for the titular question, I do think about it. Every short I write is written to be sold, hopefully for decent money.
    My ultimate goal for writing is to be able to, at least, get a little extra money from it. If I just wanted to entertain myself, I'd keep it all in my head like I did for years.
     
  24. GuardianWynn

    GuardianWynn Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    2,392
    Likes Received:
    843
    I think of it like spilt milk. If you cry over spilt milk. All you got is split milk and tears. These worries are natural but me personally? I don't try and make them go way. I use them. I use the feeling of insecurity to try and push my work to new heights. :)
    Does that make sense?

    For your questions. I plan to contact a publisher. So, I got nothing on 1 and 3.
    For 2 though? My advice is this. Think of it like weight lifting. Writing a 50K or more story about one thing is hard but just like lifting weight is hard(if you lift enough). The more you work at it the easier it gets.

    Does that help?
     
    Mordred85 likes this.
  25. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2014
    Messages:
    10,462
    Likes Received:
    11,689
    But why is completely unlimited creativity the ultimate goal?

    What would that even look like? How would you distinguish between 'creative' and 'gibberish'?
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice