I'm in the editing process and have found 2 major sections that need a bit of tlc. The first one is where a 14 year old boy is at a nuclear power plant and is ultimately exposed to radiation. It is set in a post apocalyptic world and there is little to stop him wandering around carefree except for the odd locked door he would need a key for. I've tried re writing this 3 times already but every variant of The story makes him sound stupid for wandering into a radioactive area accidentally, ignoring warning signs. I need to write it so he actually has an accident and is completely innocent but can't for the life of me think how. Secondly, later in the story, 4 of my characters are forced to spend a month underground in a disused telephone exchange that is doubling up as a fallout shelter. In my head it's a great chance to throw in a great storyline full of intreague to keep it moving,but so far I've resorted to skipping the story along a month because I can't think of anything interesting that could happen underground. The only viable option I've come up with so far is adding a love interest into the story but that would only involve 2 of the characters and not use the location very well. Any ideas on either point?
Problem #1: maybe the boy goes in because he thinks someone is there and needs help? A stray dog perhaps? A friend? Maybe he thinks there's something in there he desperately needs? Maybe he thinks there's drinkable water in there, medicine, or food stored at this plant and since he doesn't know the way, he just wanders farther and farther inside until he's just lost. Problem #2: I got a question. If there's no plot in it, why write it? Don't throw in cute subplots just because "it'd be cool". There's gotta be a reason why they're forced to spend a month there - what's this reason? Why does it have no relevance to them during their stay - and if it does, then your plot should just be about that. Lastly, there's nothing wrong with a time skip. Is there something that happens later in the book that you could use this underground place to foreshadow? Some knowledge, twist, or perhaps a chance to introduce an element that will become important later in the book? Don't throw in "cool" stuff. Throw in plot-related stuff, or do the time skip.
Problem 1: maybe it's a dark night and very stormy and he doesn't see the signs and runs in for shelter. At 14 he may not understand where he is having not seen the signs - thats a simple explanation that wouldn't require any change to the plot like adding in another person would. Problem 2: If there's no story or conflict in it then it really has no place in the book. My 'pet peeves' are people who write in a romance because they think they need one, like to write one, or can't think of anything else to add in. You could skip this part in your novel, if not have them venture underground for a short time. But why would young teens be wandering around in a dangerous world by themselves? Have they no care givers?
With regards to the first, he could just be curious and adventurous. He's 14 years old, it wouldn't be that far-fetched for a kid to make a stupid mistake all for their curiosity. As for the second, you should never throw in a love interest just to make things interesting, in my opinion. That sounds like an easy and quick way to force two characters together that probably wouldn't get together otherwise. If the underground segment isn't interesting enough, and you don't want to just skip through a month, why not do a time-lapse? Cut to different days throughout the month so that interesting and concise things can happen. Maybe someone gets paranoid about their supplies? What if two people decide to devote a couple of days into creating a game they could all play? Or someone could find a hole in a wall and the group gets paranoid about possible creatures crawling through, and they spend time to secure it? There's a lot you could do with this segment that would do wonders to advance their characterizations, so keep at it!
The first idea about thinking he hears someone is a good one and could work well, given the boundaries I have already laid out and the entry/exit of the required edit. Thank you, I will give that a go. As for the second problem, there is a reason they are underground, the world outside is a nuclear disaster zone and they are only able to exist above ground in hazmat suits. There for the time underground is currently just sitting around talking through next moves. It's probably realistic to what would happen, but the point of writing is to keep the reader entertained and this segment of the book is failing in that area. What goes on underground is integral to the story but it needs spicing up a bit to keep the reader interested
Problem 1: He's looking for copper wire, transformers, gas masks, batteries, dry food, et cetera. He'd figure that the powerplant with all fences would have more to loot once inside. Problem 2: Wait until you run out of plot before adding new things, but I'm sure that lots can be done in a confined space if it's like an abandoned city instead. I wrote two books taking place on a large raft floating aimlessly on an endless ocean. Think small, and it becomes big.
How about simply deepening the characters' relationships? No added romance is needed, unless you want to write romance. I'd say reveal something here that's integral to the plot at a later stage. Now is also a good time for any back stories you've been holding back is there something you can reveal to help us understand the characters more? Also, have you finished this draft yet? Once you have a finished draft, you may be able to see better what needs fleshing out, what needs a bit more explanation, what should be repeated again so readers actually remember before the big climax. This blank underground scene could be the perfect spot for something like this, but you wouldn't know what it should be until you have a finished draft and can see what's lacking.
Yeah the book is currently a raw first draft, with heaps of errors and spelling mistakes. I'm concentrating on the story edit at the no rather than spelling and I'm about 30000 words into it before the first plot rewrite hits. I'm happy with what I've edited so far. There are some major rewrites ahead, but I sort of know where I want to go with them. I've started the re write with the first problem, he's heard a dog and it seems to be working with what I've done so far.
Sounds like you need to write the parts that are integral to the story, and leave out the boring bits. I only remember reading one novel which included a long stay in a fallout shelter, and I seem to remember there was a page or two about how bad they felt because pretty much everyone else in the world was dead, a page or two about how they settled into a routine while they waited for the fallout to decay to safer levels, then a page or two about how they prepared to go back to the world outside. So six months in the shelter went by in maybe six pages.
For problem one, the solution might be simple. He can't read? So the warning signs mean nothing to him? Of course it depends on how long ago the apocalypse happened, but I imagine a generation or two, living in extremely primitive and dangerous conditions, might well skip reading classes. This could be good from a writing perspective, because if you can give a hint of what the signs look like, then the readers will know where he is and what he's about to do. But HE won't.
So 45000 words approx into my edit, and I've completely rewritten problem 1. Still not sure if it works completely but at least now I have 2 options to roll with. As for problem 2, I've found myself rewriting the whole last third of the book, because the more I read the more I thought I was forcing characters into places they probably wouldn't go. I want this to be as realistic as possible, save for the actual apocalypse. I want it to be how you and me would react, not some Dwayne Johnson type coming in to save the world. It just wasn't working. Problem is now I need to find another 20-30000 words and take my story into somewhere I've not even thought about. So onto problem 3 14 year old is dead, group blame old man, who has now gone missing. woman has a breakdown and other younger woman shows signs of weakness. Only mc is holding it together and team spirit is virtually at 0%. I know the ultimate goal, it's already written and my beta readers have said it's exceptional. I just need to get there. Any ideas?
If this is part of a series, then have the MC hold onto that micro speck of hope, and buildup the misery and despair of the situation. Considering you have written such a dire situation to begin with. Though it may conflict with your perfect ending bit. IDK, it is kinda hard to really help, since we don't know how it ends, or if it is just a cliffhanger for a sequel(s). Though if you are shooting for a happier ending that is already a preset, then figure out a way for them to slog through the horrible bits and happen upon the more ideal situation at the end. If not go the other route. Really can't make much in the way of suggestion without possibly changing the ending which you feel should remain. So you are gonna have to define the target and paint it, before you will get a more precise answer to work with. Cause with out the ending to play off of, it is like taking potshots in the dark and you may not get much useful ideas for the question you are asking. Good luck.
Hello, friend About the boy sounding stupid, try to think what kind of background he had. Was he poor? As he a rich? Or only just an ordinary citizen? Because, if he sounds stupid that could explain, if his background was to be rich, he had everything in life and still thinks it's all a game. And then, when the radiation hits him, he transforms into a different person or a worst of himself. If the boy was poor, he could be innocent. Let's say while he was trying to understand what's going on, at the distance, he sees a static shadow. Curious he goes there, finding out that or it was a dead person or an animal. Touching it, the radiation hits him, and there he could during your story gain some obsession to understand the radiation, to the point of becoming super-selfish. If he had a normal life, he could only have a simple understanding of the radiation. Make him acompanied with someone, a friend? His mother? Father? Sister? Brother? So that person could transmit to his radiation. I suggest to cut it that love interest unless it advances the plot or some character growth. What I will suggest is create a situation of tension. Maybe one of your characters is going to betray someone? Or a secret agent from an organisation? Or your characters will be invaded by the people affected, but have no ways to defend themselves? Or as Mckk has said and I agree with this statement: I hope this helps. Keep on good work and remember, have fun
Whatever you do has to advance the story. There's no drama without conflict. There's no sense in adding the love interest unless there is conflict somewhere and that would have to be with one or both of the other characters. For instance, if two of the characters are married and one of the other 2 starts falling for the spouse. Or there could have been some tension between them before they went into the shelter and now in close quarters the tension heats up. If none of it relates to the story or theme of the story don't do it.
