I have had a scene in my head for a very long time- a naked man charging across a snowy field in the dead of night. With a chopper chasing him. I asked some questions 1- who is he: His name is Garrett Cardinal. But the name is as far as I got. 2- where is he running from- A secret government research facility in conjunction with an offshoot of Project Bluebook called Project Sentient. 3- Why is he running- here is where i get disjlinted and cant seem to make it work. Project Sentient is an off shoot of Blue Book, which is basically repopulating the planet with Alien-Human hybrids. what i was trying to do with this, and here is where i cant seem to find it, is that I wanted to have an Adam and Eve thing going here. I was thinking he is Adam and has escaped to go and find eve, which Sentient is also looking for. But that doesn't make sense to me as I think about it. I have tried and tried. What I want is in here. I just need some fresh eyes and suggestions to pull threads together. So, who is Garrett Cardinal in relation to Sentient and the Hybrids. Who would the woman be he is searching for? Getting Alien DNA would be easy to explain. It could be leftover from the Roswell crash or even from others that have been captured over the years. the why Sentient is repopulating could be lots of reasons, which I can work out. it could be the first stage in total colonization for instance. can someone please give me a push or nudge in the right direction here with this? Something that can help me take this and start to work with it. Right now it is a whole bunch of pieces. I just need the nudge so I can put them together. thank you everyone...….. Reply With Quote
Well, since we're talking aliens, psychic connections will probably be an acceptable plot thread. Why not have him have a psychic draw to the woman he's searching for. Maybe because they share common DNA or something. Maybe she's an original alien and not a hybrid, and the government just got a hold of a sample of her DNA at a crash site but not the alien herself. I know you said you could work out why Sentient is repopulating, but just in case you're interested here's a thought on that, too. Some countries are already experiencing population declines just from people not being interested in having kids (Japan). Maybe some new chemical byproduct is exacerbating this problem even in other countries by causing sterility in people, so Sentient is trying to secretly keep the population up so the economy doesn't tank.
In order to figure this out, you need to establish what the Sentient thing is. If you can establish that, and what they do, then the rest will just fall into place if you've got a good idea.
So, then, following from your thoughts, this woman is an alien who escaped from a crash site. An original and not a hybrid. She escaped from the site, but maybe they have recovered her craft and were able to extract DNA from the craft. The hybrids have already been created, which would assume there is already alien DNA somewhere. What would be the purpose of needing this woman's DNA? Could it be that it is her DNA that was used to create the hybrids, which was extracted from her craft. Meaning she has been around for a while. Probably man years. Now, something has gone wrong and they need to find her to extract more of her DNA. Like she is Alien Patient 0? Maybe this man is a remote viewer and they were using him to find her? They were torturing him to get him to help them, and he somehow found a way to escape and is now going to try and find her on his own to warn her and help her run and hide from Sentient? Does that make sense?
Why don't you just ask us to write the whole book for you? I don't mind critiquing what YOU come up with but if I write it for you I want royalties. (there seem to be a lot of newbies posting these kind of threads lately...like the rest of us are being mocked)
sorry I offended you. certainly not "mocking" anybody. Forgive me for being a "newbie". But now that I know the rule certainly not looking to offend anybody and not trying to "mock" anybody. but now since I know the rules, this "newbie" wont bother asking questions anymore.....
I know what it is like to be a newbie on this forum, believe me, so if you are new Welcome. It is just I have noticed a certain pattern with the new posts lately. Again, I don't mind critiquing YOUR ideas, but having me/anybody come up with your whole plot I think is too much.
I guess that I just approached this the wrong way from the beginning. And, again, I apologize. I am new to this forum, yes..... If I were to be able to do this over, I think maybe this would have been a better way. I think. Here is an idea for a story I have...Let me know what you guys think..... A man escapes from a secret government facility, which is associated with Project Sentient, an off shoot or continuation of the old Project Blue Book. Project Sentient is charged with the repopulation of the planet using alien-human hybrids. Garrett Cardinal, the escapee, is looking for a woman, who he knows by the code name: Eve. He knows Sentient needs her. He will try to find her on his own with the little information he was able to steal from the Sentient mainframe. Basically, it becomes a race. Can Garrett find EVE before Sentient does?
Actually that is very good for a pitch or logline. But the who, what, why, and where you need to have at least some sort of idea about yourself. Will be glad to help by telling you if it's working as you work on it.
Aren't Loglines supposed to be shorter? I remember being told they need to be limited to a single sentence. Two at best. Using that as the Logline, I can try and go back and answer the questions. Is that a good way of approaching it? Take that line and kind of work backwards, I guess? use that a a basis to go and ask all of those questions. And those answers will help fill out the rest?
The best loglines are only two or three sentences, yes, but some people do make them longer. But I thought you wanted help with your story. Loglines come after the work is all done. But this was a good start in organizing your thoughts. My first question: why does Sentient want Eve back? Is her life in danger? Why does Garrett care and want to save her?
As to your first question. Sentient wants EVE back because they need another original sample of her DNA to fix something that has gone wrong with the hybrids. The repopulation has not started yet because of flaws in the Hybrids. As to question number two. Yes, her life will be in danger. EVE never intended to have her DNA used in making hybrids. if Sentient gets her back they will also do further experiments on her, making her a guinea pig and lab rat. Garrett wants to save her because while he was in captivity he was witness to some of the atrocities Sentient created in dealing with another alien subject they were trying to use to fix the hybrid problem. So he breaks out to try and save EVE from becoming another experiment.
Sounds like you've worked out your plot a bit more now. Sometimes it helps just to ask others about it. I find that even just thinking about how to ask a question can often lead to new ideas in the process. It's similar to a technique we use teaching students computer science. Is your code not working? Here's a rubber duck. Tell the duck what the problem is. Tell it what you know and what you don't know and suddenly "ooooh, that's what I should do!"
I think that I at least have a starting point from which to work. I have asked some questions and answered them. Now to ask some more questions and see what road they take me down...….. this idea makes me excited to sit down and type some of this info out. I can make a folder and make some notes now...…...
You aren't making anything better by being rude and making the normal ebb and flow of forum life into a conspiracy to harm old members. You're just contributing to the antagonism and negativity.
Did I approach my query here the wrong way? I had no intention of offending anyone. I wasn't sure how else to approach asking the question. Perhaps I should have put more work into my idea before posting it here.
I like to jam my characters into the most conflict ever. So what type of character is he? Defiant, easygoing, does he feel like he's been pushed into saving the world. Once you have his character sorted out you can figure out what's going to push him into action. Maybe in the near future you can only mate with certain people and in order to have offspring only Eve's body will accept his sperm. Maybe he's not all that anxious to populate but someone's got to do it. And maybe Eve is kinda hot.
Perhaps "EVE" does not know she is Eve. After the crash her DNA was taken but she somehow assimilated into the population as a "normal" human. Memories were erased so she could exist within the human race. He has to find her, convince her that she is who she is and possible find out other abilities she might have to fight the bad guys. Just a thought.
You didn't do anything wrong. At all. If you post an unrealistic request, you'll find that out quickly enough. But that doesn't make you a bad forum member.
Here is a very helpful web article about developing a story idea: 7 Straightforward Tips For Turning An Idea Into A Story There are few things more magical to a writer than an idea. That initial spark of inspiration, that tiny kernel that nestles itself in your mind – slowly growing and developing, taking shape and form... There's no doubt that ideation is one of the most exciting parts of the writing process. https://writersedit.com/fiction-writing/7-straightforward-tips-for-turning-an-idea-into-a-story/ There are many ways of doing things when it comes to writing. Finding out What Works for You is a piece of advice you will be hear. A lot. Along with the old standby Show Don't Tell. Take the opportunity as you develop your story to develop your craft. Don't be frustrated by the learning experience, but embrace it. And always, at Writing Forums, you are welcomed to ask questions. Godspeed!
I have questions: Is the alien dynamic necessary? How about having Adam and Eve be the "only" two people on Earth to have some genetic mutation to survive a plague that's ravaging the world? Sentient is charged with propagating that mutation to the (so far) unaffected-but-rapidly dying population. To do that, they need every egg in her ovaries (or something something tomato soup... technobabble), and his sperm to make blastocysts that they'll... I'm reaching here... use to create a cure... I don't know. Regardless, they need her. And him. And you can tell they're Operation Sentient because they never go outside without protective gear. People are dying everywhere... Anyway, I'm not sure aliens are necessary based on what you've given us. Is this a short story or a novel? The plot can be thinner for a short story. People don't have time to ask questions. Are they trying to re-populate a world that has people, or are all the other people dead? Good luck. Plot development is frustrating. I have a hard time of it myself. Sometimes I just start writing and see where it takes me. I'm not the only one. Go watch the movie "Monster in a Box" (Spaulding Grey monologue). It'll make you feel better about your situation while laughing. Cheers. JD
I don't know if it is completely necessary. It is something that has always appealed to me and interested me. I have always wanted to write this type of a story. and I do intend to write out a few scenes to see exactly where it might take me. My original idea was always about using alien-human hybrids to repopulate. I was going to have part of Project Sentient the fact they use genetic markers to identify those who will not be able to survive to "remove them" from the population along with the weak, the sick, and the elderly, replacing them with alien-human hybrids that are better equipped to survive. But there is a problem with the hybrids they are ready to roll out which requires the DNA of EVE. Maybe the original DNA used to create the hybrids wasn't hers, and they needs hers because it is pure to fix what is wrong with the hybrids. I intend this to be a novel when I sit down to work on it. this world might still have people. I haven't gotten that far yet.
