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  1. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    a place with colorful windows

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by alpacinoutd, Oct 17, 2020.

    Hello.

    I'm trying to describe a place which has many windows with differing colors. This picture will give you an idea:

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MftslAXP2iI/maxresdefault.jpg

    How can I express the idea that the color of sunlight changes as it goes through the windows? I mean I'm looking for an interesting way of expressing that.

    She had an eerie feeling about the place even though it was splendid. The arched floor to ceiling windows had many different colors and the sunlight filtering in danced in all the colors of the rainbow.


    Obviously, there must be a better way to describe this place. How would you go about it?
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2020
  2. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 Contributor Contributor

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    The sunlight shining through the stained glass windows burst into a scintillating cascade of colours.
     
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  3. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    I like it a lot! It kinda made my mood better!

    Can I also use "kaleidoscope"?
     
  4. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 Contributor Contributor

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    Yup. Everyone remembers Abba.
     
  5. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    How about these?

    1. The sun filtering in, exploded in a kaleidoscope of colors.
    2. There was a festival of colors on the walls, created by the passing sunlight through the stained glass windows.
     
  6. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 Contributor Contributor

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    I like the first one better than the second.

    Be careful not to overwrite. You need enough to create the image in the reader's mind, not shove it down their throats.
     
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  7. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I agree with Nao.. you could also stay closer to your original if you wanted but lose a few words (especially the repetition of the word colors)

    Sunlight filtering through the the arched floor to ceiling windows danced in all the colors of the rainbow.
     
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  8. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    I always liked the expression, 'a riot of colours.' Very poetic.
     
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  9. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    I heard it once in a documentary. The guy said the garden is a riot of colors.

    How would you use it to describe this photo?

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MftslAXP2iI/maxresdefault.jpg
     
  10. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    The stained glass windows created a riot of colours that danced about the room

    Or something.
     
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  11. IasminDragon

    IasminDragon Member

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    Here's a nice example of how to describe sunlight through a window, by John Updike.

    He loved how this house welcomed into itself in every season lemony flecked rhomboids of sun whose slow sliding revolved it with the day, like the cabin of a ship on a curving course.

    I'm not a crazy advocate for metaphors as a rhetorical device but it might be suitable for you here
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
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  12. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    I find this sentence incredibly difficult to read comfortably. Have you omitted/missed some of the punctuation?
     
  13. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    I do like it. Sometimes I enjoy a piece of writing for the character and for the story. Sometimes I enjoy it because it has nice metaphors and similes and what not. Sometimes flowery language gets in the way of storytelling because it makes the reader do too much work.

    But in any case, I do love these literary devices for the sake of it.

    Where can I find more stuff like that? I mean what books do I read which have beautiful language like that?
     
  14. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 Contributor Contributor

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    Somewhat overwritten, IMO. But that's just looking at it out of context.
     
  15. IasminDragon

    IasminDragon Member

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    No. It's a linear stream of language following a logical pathway of mood. Throwing together words like 'riot', 'dance' and 'kaleidascope' is less comfortable to me, as it feels like words thrown together for the sake of it. Its better to make a concise mood or feeling.

    It's always about context.

    Well, I think in order to make better recommendations it's good to know what kind of mood and tone you want to set. Writing a story is never just about describing how light falls through a window. Everything is viewed through a lens or tone; whether the light is falling into the home of something cosy and familiar, lonesome and bare, or grand and intimidating will affect how you want to convey the feeling or mood.

    Hopefully the passage I shared conveys the techniques in how something as superficially simple as light through a window goes a long way into that. Updike makes a very dreamlike sequence out of his description - consider the effects you want to get out of yours!

    A lot of literary fiction is written in the same way. I cant stand him as a person, but Ian McEwan is very flowery.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020
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  16. alpacinoutd

    alpacinoutd Active Member

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    I love this forum.:supersmile:
     

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