1. Killer Queen

    Killer Queen New Member

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    Is this plot twist decent?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Killer Queen, Jan 5, 2016.

    Okay, so, in the story I am writing, the characters are a specialist organisation of crimefighting and detectives in the vein of Libra from Kekkai Sensen/Blood Blockade Battlefront - they are all picked due to magic expertise (except one, but that's a different story.)

    Anyway, the leader of this group, as it is revealed later in the story, is not at all who he actually is.

    Instead of a skilled caster and vigilante of sorts, he is actually the main villain of the story (or at least, part of the story.). It turns out he is skilled in the art of illusory magic, and had killed the character he was disguising himself as a few years prior to the story; on top of that, most events in the story were set up by him, or were carried out in such a way that it would benefit his rise to power.

    In the end, this revelation cripples the group and allows him to contain ultimate power over London, which is where the story takes place. Instead of legal vigilantes, the group become fugitives and flee London, allowing the villain to begin purging anyone who opposes him - essentially becoming a dictator.


    So, what would you guys say about this plot twist?
     
  2. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Hi, welcome to the forum. Sounds like an interesting plot twist to me. Harry Potter had an evil character that impersonated the good guy he locked in trunk (or something). It works. That plot was different of course, I'm just commenting on a character impersonating another.
     
  3. AMTaylor

    AMTaylor New Member

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    This sounds like a good read. It almost sounds like Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. Be careful not to piggy back.
     
  4. Aster

    Aster Member

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    It sounds more like the set up to a great story rather than a shocking plot twist.

    The reveal should be what starts your heroes on their journey. You spend the book exploring the ways each character is affected by the revelation and how they overcome the situation they've been forced into.
     
  5. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

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    The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare...a novel by G. K. Chesterton
     
  6. cclive

    cclive New Member

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    Sounds good, a bit like Dr. Wells in Flash Season 1
     
  7. Lorenzostales

    Lorenzostales New Member

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    It could be very good but you have very careful with this sort of plot twist, by the end of the story everything has to come together and make perfectly sense.
     
  8. Fullmetal Xeno

    Fullmetal Xeno Protector of Literature Contributor

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    That's pretty good, but it could be a little more spicy and original. I suggest trying to make the turning point more unexpected, such as the group meeting another group of vigilantes that have the same cause seemingly but turn on them for the dictatorship.
     
  9. Indarican

    Indarican Member

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    I agree with @Aster I think this will make a great story, do you think this will be a series or just a stand alone novel. I can see it going great places if it was a series.
     
  10. TheRealStegblob

    TheRealStegblob Kill All Mages Contributor

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    Well, if done well this is always a great twist, but if done poorly it's one of the absolute worst twists.

    That'd be my general advice. Think long and hard on it and try really hard to construct it into the plot. The 'good guy was a bad guy' twist is one of the oldest twists in the book and while it isn't overused by any means, it's one that isn't often utilized properly. That's just my take on it.
     
  11. David Tice

    David Tice Member

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    I myself love playing with my readers minds and plot twists like this are one of my go to moves. It sounds very interesting, if not original, I took in everything you said and kind of pictured the book starting with them as a team and ending with them on the run and him the dictator of London and it really sounds interesting.

    It will all come down to the subtle nuances of the story. You have to be careful not to reveal anything to the reader but you also might try dropping hints here and there so that they wont feel like you just sprung this on them without allowing them a fair chance to figure it out. Either way it will come down to his interactions with other characters along the way, dialogue and events involving the villain will be key because when the twist is finally revealed at the end many readers will look back over EACH and EVERY scene he was involved in and they will take new meaning with a greater significance. Even the smallest, most minute things will be placed under the microscope because where as at first they were spoken by a common, casual old good guy THEN, NOW upon review they are the words of a villain in disguise. So you want to make sure that you invest time in everything he does up until the point of the twist, because there's a good chance that the reader will too.

    I'd enjoy reading it though because this is just up my alley.
     
  12. King_Horror

    King_Horror Member

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    I enjoy plot twists, especially ones where the bad guy wins. Heroes on the run, said heroes losing, London being overthrown, and just people getting massacred is what turns me on.

    Like everyone else has said, write it right. I also agree with using the plot twist at the beginning of the story; It would be an excellent start. Then you can show how the characters feel about the villain being revealed.

    Oh, and this is just a humble suggestion, try having the dictator in question be absolutely monstrous. :twisted:
     
  13. Boger

    Boger Senior Member

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    I am working on a similar premise actually... should work
     
  14. Andrae Smith

    Andrae Smith Bestselling Author|Editor|Writing Coach Contributor

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    Sounds like a worthy plot twist and one that would set the story up for a next installment really easily, depending on the length and scope. I'd say run with it, bud. :agreed:
     

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