At some point, I had opened my eyes. Now I noticed that Moebius seemed disgusted at my table manners. Malek spoke up, “I've met some slow-wakers among the demon hunters. She is relatively dainty in comparison.” I need to choose between "relatively" and "in comparison" don't I? Malek has been a stage-hand for Shakespeare for a while.
... but it's dialogue. I say it to myself and it sounds perfectly natural. Whether Malek has been stagehand for the Bard or not, is Malek the pedantic sort? Because if not... it sounds fine.
I think you could get away with it in this context, it doesn't read awkwardly to me. For example you could say, 'The Braithwaites were ostentatious in their habits, the Campbells were relatively poor in comparison'. Edit: The suggestion I gave you was piss poor, this is what tends to happen at around 11.00pm British summer time on a Friday night.
@Wreybies is right. Grammar errors, and redundancies like the one in your example, occur in everyday speech. This is the way Malek talks. It's not your own third-person narration.
Sorry, Wreybies, I didn't think of it like that. Yes, when in fiction and it's dialogue or a certain type of narrator, then grammatical errors and suchlike are fine. In fact, I can see me saying the sentence myself. But if it's the correct way you're after, then you'll need to only have one of those words in the sentence.
I don't think the two words necessarily mean exactly the same thing. ... relatively dainty in comparison to [other slow wakers]. You are specifying 'relative to what'. It may be unnecessary, a lot of things are implied in sentences without stating them. But stating the unstated thing doesn't necessarily make it redundant.
I was posting a throwaway and I learned something that I can apply to the rest of it. Even people using antiquated language can use it imprecisely. Calling Malek a Shakespeare stagehand was contrasting him to the Hamlet refugees that he interacts with.
