I'm brainstorming for a particular subplot/scene in my novel. There's what really happened and what my characters think happened. What they think happened change through the story, depending on what they discover and also on the context. It's a fantasy medieval setting with clues of ancient advanced civilization (so there's also some science). What really happened is something like that : I have a character, call him N, who's a "legendary" captain in a Templar order. His wife is a very proficient herbalist and typically helps people with injuries and sickness. He also has a friend or a close subordinate, call him B, who's often making fun of N because he knows how N does not really deserve his "legendary" status. At some point, the Templar order (for some reason that I need to brainstorm) takes N's wife away from her family, while N is on his duty at the Temple. What the order really does to N's wife is unknown to N, but as far as he's concerned, they killed her for being a witch (most probably. Also remains to be decided). Not sure if that's a good idea, but I'm wondering if N should take an active role in the death of his wife. Something like "now you decide, her or the Temple". And considering N is really a man of duty, with an unwavering faith, he chooses the Temple, and really accept to see his wife as an evil witch. Now, at some point, N and B are far away on duty and make the experience of some weird ancient stuff. N, in particular, experience a very strong hallucination which is a mix between his reminiscence of his wife's death and something else (doesn't really matter what it is, I think... that's something that happened long before N's birth, so...) During that hallucination, he relives part of the day of his wife's death and discovers few things that he mistakenly interprets as B betraying him, because of what N interprets as B's jealousy over N's undeserved title. Betrayal that leads to the death of N's wife. When he finally gets out of the illusion, either N realizes he must have killed B during the hallucination, or N just goes crazy over the realization that B is a traitor who got his wife killed, and he kills him. Basically, does that make sense or is it somewhat stupid at some point ?
I think it's going to come down to the delivery. If you're writing in third, I think you can split reality and his illusions. If you're writing in first, I think it's an opportunity to play around with an unreliable narrator. But don't have him kill himself at the end. That's getting a bit cliche. Readers are going to spend time with your book and characters. As a reader, the MC killing himself at the end would be a letdown. I think you can get more creative than that. Maybe you don't exactly know the end yet, but, to me, it sounds like you're more than ready to start writing this story. I would see what sort of things develop along the way that could lead to a different ending. But your idea sounds good. I would run with it.
He doesnt kill himself. I wasn't clear I suppose. N kills B at the end (maybe). Later, N leaves the weird place to return to his daughter, because guilt for having abandonning her to serve the Temple, guilt and confusion because he's putting even in questions, in particular why the death of his wife was even necessary. And also because he wants to protect her daughter from what is to come (and also to protect her from the Temple). But thanks, you answered my question
One thought on this: Templars, like Hospitallers and priests were supposed to be celibate. Not that all of them were but none were married.
