So I'm writing a story for English (I have no idea if its good or not, but I don't really care since coronavirus has us on a pass/fail grading system this semester) and I have a sentence with lots of alliteration. Like, a lot. Now I'm not going to change it as my ninth grade English teacher will see alliteration and go "good job!" no matter what, but I was wondering if in the professional writing world if this would be seen as excessive. "He went inside of the large lexicon lodging, and strolled to a lady who looked to be longing for a lad in lack of knowledge."
Depends on what you're writing. It isn't excessive for satire or other humorous forms, but for serious writing it sounds too much like a joke. It can be done well if you would be more discerning about it and don't overdo it so much.
