1. Zombie Among Us

    Zombie Among Us Active Member

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    An Army in an Emergency Bunker

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Zombie Among Us, Mar 28, 2019.

    Hey y'all. I hope I give enough relevant details without making this too long!

    In my post-apocalyptic story's emergency bunker, the workers (nicknamed "caretakers") are named after plants, while the tenants are named after animals. The secret army in the bunker is for those who are named after predatory animals, like the POV, Zombie (not really an animal, but the name fits). They are the ones the caretakers decided could be most easily made into human weapons. Information about the army is classified to only caretakers and soldiers.

    All non-caretakers have been comatose for thirteen years in between the end of chapter one and the beginning of chapter two. They wake up not remembering how life used to be.

    The army trains in Nutmeg's Field, an artificial patch of grass hidden deep within the bunker. A caretaker has just introduced Zombie to their mentor, Adder. I am now stuck at how this should go.

    The army is just an idea I'm testing out, so there's a chance it won't stay. The idea kind of just came to me, and I've written 229 words on it outside of foreshadowing. Said foreshadowing leads to some other things that I'm not too keen to change. However, I do think that, if need be, I could alter that part to make sense without the army.

    This also takes place 3,700 words in. The total written story so far is almost 25,000 words, but the beginning was so terrible I just needed to go back and change it. Those changes lead to this idea.

    My reasoning for trying this is I think it'll add more explanation as to how and why Zombie learns to kill. They are already pretty mindless (hence, their name) and they could easily turn into a killer (which, currently, they do 2,000 words later). Their murderous nature is one of the biggest aspects of the story. It would also show that the emergency bunkers did at least make an effort to fight against those who created the apocalypse.

    What I'm looking for right now is some advice on how should I handle this, or maybe some ideas as to how it could go.

    Sorry about the long read!

    Edit: the moment I posted this I realized I forgot to say that there's no electricity that doesn't come from solar panels.​
     
  2. Fallow

    Fallow Banned

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    I honestly can't tell what you're asking. "Zombie" is a race, group, hive? Is it conscious? "Meeting" means what? All the background sheds no light on what kind of characters these are and what they need.
     
  3. Zombie Among Us

    Zombie Among Us Active Member

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    Zombie is a single person. Also, I don't see the word "meeting" in my post.

    Zombie is conscious, but not too much since they just woke up.

    Adder is a bit of a wildcard at the moment. I'm not sure what direction I should take with him.

    Sorry about how broad the post is. I'm basically asking for advice as to how others might handle this. Seeing other's takes on it will (hopefully) help me develop my own.
     
  4. XRD_author

    XRD_author Banned

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    I'd probably dribble out little bits about how/why Zombie learned to kill along the way, keeping it a bit of a mystery for a while. I'd look for opportunities to give it out a little at a time: conversations with others, chance meetings with fellow bunker ex-residents (perhaps a caretaker) who provide some (perhaps incomplete) explanations, PTSD induced flash-backs, and so on. A lot of ways to do it, but it all depends on what opportunities the main story gives for it.
     
  5. Fallow

    Fallow Banned

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    Is the "this" you're asking about the introduction/meeting between Adder and Zombie and aftermath? Or is "this" something else?
     
  6. Zombie Among Us

    Zombie Among Us Active Member

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    Sorry about the confusion, I didn't realize how broad my posts have been. I'll add some more details.


    @Fallow :
    -"This" was referring to the general situation. The interactions between Adder and Zombie, the aftermath, how Zombie would train, how they would keep it a secret, etc.

    @XRD_author :


    -Nobody can leave the bunker (for now)

    -If I go with the army idea, Zombie would learn to kill through their training. Either way, they start killing pretty early on. I just figured it would make more sense with the army

    -If I use the army idea, it would most likely not be hidden from Zombie for long

    -I'm looking for how Zombie would train, how they would keep it a secret, etc.
     

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