Discussion in 'General Writing' started by missxmadden, Jan 23, 2011.
I can't think of anyways to end it. Any ideas?
As she took her last breath, she thought...
"Why did he wait this long? Why now? But...no matter what he did, no matter how he treated me, he loved me, I know it. I feel it. Only love means something, only love ever meant anything." She felt herself slipping into a darkness she was suddenly frightened of, but somewhere in the blackness shone a tiny prick of light. That was where she was going - she had to let it take her.
In all honesty, I don't know where to take your characters thoughts! Only you should really take her last moments and create something with them.. All I can do is guess and I'm not sure how "authentic" that would feel. But I took a stab at it anyway. It might give you an idea, if nothing else
I enjoyed reading your piece, though.
I highly advise against this type of post. I think you should figure it out for yourself. It won't feel like it's entirely yours if someone else writes your ending. Get to work you can do it!
Second thoughts about this post - I was being flippant.
I do feel that getting ideas/help from members is one thing - we all need inspiration from somewhere - but I advise against lifting the ending that somebody has written and using it as your own. I gave you an example but I do agree with JWatson - it won't feel like "yours" this way. Good luck anyway
For inspirational purpose only:
As she took her last breath, she thought,
... her mind was serene and peaceful, as she knew he would be holding her hand forever.
... she smiled realising death was a comfortable cocoon.
... she came to peace with herself in the awareness that the next could only become better.
... she came to peace with herself in the awareness that her body was only a dying shell around her forever-lasting spirit.
[Note: I have English as second language, so the exact wording requires further elaboration!]
only you, the writer of the piece, can know how you want this character to feel and 'go out'... do you want this to be your own creative work, or a 'story by committee'?...
"I don't think he can."
I cannot end the story for you as the idea is your own, but put it this way. Imagine your are the character. When I read it, I did this and felt sorry for her and then seeing it suddenly stopped. Then the idea got to me, what would I say on my death bed. What will be my last thought before I die. The first thing that came into my head was in humourously sense by cursing
...she thought, 'Aw s***'
...she thought, 'dad...' and she ended muffling out the words, 'I love you.'
And stop there because then I think the reader can decide if she lives or dies.
Separate names with a comma.