To start off with, I don't mean to offend anyone but after sharing a couple of lines from my current WIP with my sister, I would like some other opinions so... My main character gets made fun of for being 'not stick thin' outside of the scene (the reader doesn't see the character getting made fun of) but mentions it in her internal dialogue, the line is as follows: 'So she wasn't stick thin, but at least she wasn't as large as that blonde girl stuffing her face with gummy worms.' *Just to make a note of, this character is 11 years old.* The girl my MC is describing is a background character that we will (most likely) never see again. This line's intention is to be a bit of a throwaway/offhanded comment (if you get what I mean) to show that my main character isn't perfect and to also acknowledge that she isn't the stereotypical 'stick thin' female protagonist. My sister makes the point that the line is rude and mean, which I can understand, but isn't it human nature to make a jab back at someone who makes fun of you, especially if you are young, say 11? Also, my MC isn't saying it out loud, just in her internal dialogue, so it shows that the character is flawed to have those thoughts but good to not act on them and say them out loud. I have seen lines like this from countless books to describe background characters. Most of the time when you describe a background character you mention maybe one or two things about them to give the reader something to picture in their minds. Like 'The guard had crooked teeth' or 'The postman has a smile that reached his eyes', for example. My question is; Is it okay to make an offhanded comment like this for a background character, that mentions things that they maybe insecure about, such as weight? And, if my line above is as rude or mean as my sister takes it as? Any advice helps. I'm not great at navigating things like this (maybe due to my autism) but I don't see why that line is so terrible. Again, sorry if I have offended anyone, that is not my intention.
Sure. Life is full of assholes, disappointment, insults, insecurities, and mean things. Pretending that they don't exist violates every law of universe. The quicker people understand that, the sooner they can accept reality. Or get run over by it
FWIW, unless there's more that you haven't shared with us, we haven't "seen" the secondary character at all. And I'm having a difficult time figureing out who you are quoting -- your MC, or some other secondary character. The statement sounds very typical of what an 11-year old would say in response to a perceived insult.
to add to this, generally fiction doesn’t work well if you remove all the horrible parts of life. Of nothing mean or bad every happens in the story… what are you writing about? Not saying a story with only nice things can’t be done, but not something most people want to read.