1. nats-fics

    nats-fics New Member

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    Can't stop using "which"

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by nats-fics, Mar 19, 2022.

    I find myself using "which" a lot, I've been trying to eliminate it from my sentences, but it keeps sneaking its way back in. I get stuck trying to work around it and can't seem to find another way to word it sometimes.

    A few quick (bad) examples
    • Ross had struggled to climb in, which warranted a few laughs.
    • She stayed out of it which was probably the best for everyone.
    • Heather dragged the cotton against the raw bullet wound, which caused a painful hiss from the man's lips.
    • They all turned their direction to him which seemed to spark anxiousness.
    Any tips on working around this would be highly appreciated! :-D
     
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Easiest way is to turn one sentence into two. Or to connect the clauses with different wordings.

    Ross struggled to climb in. Everyone laughed.

    She stayed out of it. That was best for everyone.

    I'd keep that one structure wise, though there are less-wordy ways to say it.

    They all turned their direction to him, sparking anxiousness.

    Or just, "They turned toward him...." eliminating the awkward phrasing of "direction" altogether.
     
  3. Idiosyncratic

    Idiosyncratic Active Member

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    I'll give my own different structures in addition to Homer's, for more examples.

    A few people laughed at Ross as he struggled to climb in. Ross struggled to climb in and a few of his coworkers laughed. Ross struggled to climb in, warranting a few laughs.

    It would be best for everyone if she stayed out of it.

    Heather dragged cotton against the raw bullet wound and the man hissed in pain.

    They all turned their direction to him, sparking anxiety.

    So in general: Split into two sentences. Reverse the order of the clauses. Replace with and or as. Remove and change the verb to continuous tense (-ing verbs, which seemed to spark to sparking or which caused to causing or which warranted to warranting). And, just be confident with what you're saying, two of the example 'which's' are being used to waffle: 'which seemed to' and 'which was probably'. Just say what it is, not what it's probably or seemed to be. A 'which' every now and again is fine, but best of luck with eliminating them!
     
  4. Seven Crowns

    Seven Crowns Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor Contest Winner 2022

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    This is an awesome question. I'll give another technique. I'll turn the first part of each line into a noun phrase. That will kill the which (burn her, she is made of wood!) and use its verb directly:
    • Ross had struggled to climb in, which warranted a few laughs.
    • Ross's struggle to climb in warranted a few laughs.
    • She stayed out of it which was probably the best for everyone.
    • Her staying out of it was probably the best for everyone.
    • Heather dragged the cotton against the raw bullet wound, which caused a painful hiss from the man's lips.
    • Dragging the cotton against the raw bullet wound caused a painful hiss from the man's lips.
    • They all turned their direction to him which seemed to spark anxiousness.
    • Turning their direction to him seemed to spark anxiousness.
    Eh, some work better than others. My last one is not so hot and needs to be reworded. But I'll keep it that way so that they're all doing the same trick, more or less. The first part of your old sentence is now a fat subject (a long noun phrase in various forms, gerund, etc.). That's another approach.

    There's not one way to fix it. There's many. And you have to choose the best one for the line.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2022
  5. Bruce Johnson

    Bruce Johnson Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    My only comment since there are plenty of recommendations is if you can't find a suitable way to eliminate the 'which' or 'causing' you could try and replace it with a better verb connecting the actions like 'prompting', 'stirring', 'triggering', etc. if you are adamant about not using 'which'.

    Heather rubbed the alcohol-soaked rag over the bullet wound, drawing a wince and groan from the victim's faltering body.




     
    petra4, nats-fics and Seven Crowns like this.
  6. SapereAude

    SapereAude Contributor Contributor

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    • Ross had struggled to climb in, resulting in a few laughs.
    • She decided that staying out of it was probably the best for everyone.
    • Heather dragged the cotton against the raw bullet wound, causing a pained hiss from the man's lips.
    • They all turned their direction to him, sparking anxiousness.
    Note: Would "anxiety" be better than "anxiousness"?
     
    KiraAnn, petra4 and nats-fics like this.
  7. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    If you overuse which and you want to bring down the frequency to reasonable levels then that's one thing, but what's the motivation for completely eliminating it? I'll bet that there are times when it's the best option.
     
  8. JLT

    JLT Contributor Contributor

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    As long as you're not over-using it, I don't see anything wrong with sentences 2 and 4 which a comma couldn't cure:

    She stayed out of it, which was probably the best for everyone.

    They all turned their direction to him, which seemed to spark anxiousness.

    The last sentence did pose the problem about precisely who was getting anxious.
     
  9. Set2Stun

    Set2Stun Rejection Collector Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Lots of great suggestions already. I just wanted to share that I have the same issue with the word "just" as an adverb. I feel your pain! :)
    Sometimes I catch myself using it twice in the same sentence. I can always just replace it with another word, but it just seems to keep on happening! Part of my editing process is going to be searching for that word and making sure it's not overused.
     
    Steve Rivers likes this.
  10. Steve Rivers

    Steve Rivers Contributor Contributor

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    And that's it in a nutshell, @nats-fics I edit a lot of books these days and I can tell you that, from my experience, every single writer has their own individual crutch words, so don't let it make you feel bad in the slightest. Most people break one habit and then end up with another crutch word that starts popping up. So with the great tips above you'll be sorted. It's a niggle we all live with and it'll end up just being something you manage in the background.
     
    B.E. Nugent likes this.

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