i know im going to come across as a complete idiot but... where the hell does the apostrophe go? i know this is basic but its just something i never learned and Google is giving me a verity of conflicting answers
It is used when two words are combined and replaces the missing letter such as: would not which can be written as wouldn't. It is also used when referring to ownership of something: Mike's car. There are also different rules when the noun ends with an 's' and you can add another 's' with an apostrophe in between the two: James's car. However I prefer to use: James' car (but I may be old fashioned). I would strongly recommend getting a copy of The Elements of Style by Strunk & White, which you can pick up quite cheaply new or used.
Google is unlikely giving you conflicting answers, rather different ones as it has different uses. You might find my old post useful: https://www.writingforums.org/showthread.php?t=6265&highlight=apostrophe I do now however concede the point I was discussing with maia at the bottom of the thread.
along with an s&w, you should also have a good punctuation guide... here's one i use online: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/566/01/
