1. tajo

    tajo New Member

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    Battle scene, character details?

    Discussion in 'Setting Development' started by tajo, Feb 22, 2017.

    For making a quick skirmish scene with 5 people vs another small group ( The 5 people are all characters who's name you know, and have been introduced into the story already)
    Is it necessary to name each character, and what he does in the battle? Or is it sufficient to simply say "And the group of people clashed blades, while such, and such did blah blah."
    Is it important to say what each character does in battle? Or is this all humdrum, unnecessary details?

    Personally, as a reader, I don't need to see every little thing, battles can be described more romantically, ie "Steel clashed as each man sweat, and groaned to protect his life." blah blah, than to see"Guy 1 pulls his blade, and swings it heavily with all of his might, while guy 2 pulled out a dagger, and threw it, hitting the enemies shield. Guy 3 charged with his axe, trying to scare the souls of his enemies, Guy 4 prepared his bow, trying to pick a target."

    But I don't know, perhaps a mix of both, and it's not important what guy 5 does as long as "The group." Fights.

    But what are your opinions?
     
  2. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    It depends what's important to the story you're telling. If it's important that readers know the details of the fight (like, if one of the characters is cowardly or especially heroic, or if significant tactics are used or something) then you need to show those details. If it's just important that readers know there was a fight, then that's all you need to show.
     
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  3. gibble410

    gibble410 WHUPPA Contributor

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    I suggest doing your main characters motions not exactly blow-for-blow, but you main character should have the most insight into their fight. As for the others, drop them in randomly. An example below,


    Jon threw bolts of lightning at Mr.Bad Guy, before delivering a spinning kick to his head. As he went in for the kill with his knives, Mr.Bad Guy suddenly rolled to the side and shot acid into his foot. Screaming for help, Jon stumbled around as Mr.Bad Guy leaped atop him. His lungs fluttering for breath, he looked over at his nearest compadre, Mr.Good Guy who was currently trading blows with Ms.Killer. Jon attempted to call out, but before he could even try, the weight of Mr.Bad Guy's arms on his windpipe ceased. It was his best friend, Try-Me, who had already knocked out Li'll Killer. As he started to stand, he noticed Charlene struggling with two of Mr.Bad Guy's thugs. He sprinted towards her as Thuggy threw knives into her abdomen seconds before ThugLif punched out her teeth. Jon tackled Thuggy who crashed into ThugLif as Charlene crumpled towards the floor.

    I hope this helps and I hope my example was good. Since it would be a quick fight, maybe not as many details about how they reacted. You could cut out parts like "as charlene crumpled towards the floor". :)

    Good Luck
     
  4. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    What's the point of the fight? Is a character protecting a wounded teammate? Then show the battle STRICTLY through that character's point of view, and make every fear, strike, and attack deal with them worrying about a threat to the wounded teammate. Is a character trying to kill a specific enemy that requires teamwork? Open the narrative to semi-omni point of view, and highlight the tactical interactions, and smart moves the characters all use to overcome this enemy. Is a character leading his group for the first time ever in a fight? Is the fight showcasing all the cool characcters and their traits, skills, ideas? Go omni pov, and wax poetic about char#1's sword swings, char#2's deft dodges, and char#3's pure, club smashing rage.

    Figure out what your scene conveys, and then the narrative will flow.

    "One of the brigands grabbed Feanor and stabbed. My soft words of negotiation choked in my throat, as the bastard plunged a dagger into my friend's gut in the middle our meeting. My heart almost twisted as I watched the dagger twist, and saw Feanor's face curled a frown of surprised pain.

    "I ripped the sword from my belt, but Dere was already in motion. The attacker was taken abak as Dere, without even drawing a weapon, clenched and clawed like an animal to protect his brother. Before the brigand could react to Dere I swung. The cry of surprise and ring of steel into flesh was not enough. Feanor fell from the brigand's grasp, clutching his stomach. I reared and swung again, Dere almost reading my mind, holding the fool's head down against the ground as I swung and crushed and smashed. Together, we turned pale dirt into crimson mud."
     
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  5. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    Those names are so awesome I'm going to steal them for my next book.:supercheeky:
     
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  6. gibble410

    gibble410 WHUPPA Contributor

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    Thanks, I'm glad they are appreciated. If you need any back stories let me know.

    But if your just using the names, you dont really need to know that Ms.Killer was a huge Harry Potter nerd before one day a guy dressed as Voldemort showed up at her house and shot her third lumbar, and the guy took photos to show to her dad, but after three years in the asylum she could walk again and she fell in love with the inmate Joe Car, and after they broke up she became Ms.Killer and joined Mr.Bad Guy in the Death Wish Squad.

    Get my references? :p:bigwink::supergrin::superlaugh:
     
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  7. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    Ummmm, nope you actually lost me thereo_O. Suicide squad and Harry Potter, yes? The others are just:confuzled:.
     
  8. gibble410

    gibble410 WHUPPA Contributor

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    Harry Potter and S.S are correct. I put some references to Batgirl and Harley Quinn there too. And the Joker, (Joe-Car, Joker).
     
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  9. tajo

    tajo New Member

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    Thanks for your replies everyone, very useful input.
    @ Zoupskim, Thank you, very interesting examples, I haven't seen "Brigand" used in a long time ^-^ I don't think everyone knows what that is, but that is an old favorite when ""Raider"" gets over used.
     
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  10. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    I'm my deepest fantasies, I'm a Fantasy Author, writing about the Skilth Tribes of the Eastern Isle serving in the glorious, glimmering army's of Templaria, the twin brothers Kelk and Jartan serving and growing together under Lord Marshal Bale and his Front Guard

    Alas, I can't wrap my mind around old world dialog...
     
  11. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    Why must it have old world dialog? I like Pride and Prejudice not because of how it's written, but because of the story and characters.

    Then again I can't always tell when you guys are serious, soooo
     
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  12. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    People say I write good dialog, and it flows really easily for me. I can write two people talking for PAGES. But, when I write fantasy it doesn't come, and it feels... off? Weird? I dunno, I just feel like I'm doing it wrong.
     
  13. tajo

    tajo New Member

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    Maybe because when you write fantasy you can't use a lot of modern slang you might normally use? And there is this struggle to kind of "Write how they might have talked."
     
  14. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    I read tons of historical accounts translated only barely from the original language, not paraphrased or edited, so that the Author's original language and way of speaking is slightly preserved. In a lot of these accounts it's not just that the sentence structure is different, but the focus is different. Like, when I talk about something it defers from my own point of reference and knowledge onto someone else. Their focus tends to be more omniscient, even when talking to another person, and they seem to reference a sort of 'common wisdom', claiming no personal knowledge or expertise.

    I dunno...

     
  15. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    Have you tried writing fantasy dialogue how you normally do? Once you have that first draft down, you can go back and see if you like it. At least then you have the information, so all you need to do is reword, right?
     
  16. Siena

    Siena Senior Member

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    You don't need to show every little detail.

    It's only important if the action shows something about the character or there is a reason for showing that action.

    Imagine you're the reader; you want it to come across with clarity.
     

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