1. Alexandria M. H.

    Alexandria M. H. New Member

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    Blurb Feedback please

    Discussion in 'Blurb Critique' started by Alexandria M. H., Mar 28, 2021.

    Quick back story; I am transcribing my 3xGreat Uncle WWI journal.

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    “We are always ready; but in the meantime its dig, and work, and being careful, and trust to chance at times”
    -- Carl Farnsworth, July 18th, 1918.​


    Carl Farnsworth was a simple and humble man in a Great War. Though his time in battle was short, it was no less important. From the farms of Nebraska to the forest of France, in Carl’s own words, here is his story. One of the many brave but forgotten souls of WWI.​
     
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin I don't feel tardy.... Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I think you need a better hook here. Why are you telling Carl's story? What does he have to say that hasn't been said before? Or moreover, what's his take on war that might be different from all the thousands of memoirs out there. Your blurb should try to capture that.

    I would definitely ditch this. It almost sounds like you're apologizing here... that what is about to follow isn't terribly interesting. I don't think his length of time in the war needs qualification.
     
  3. SapereAude

    SapereAude Contributor Contributor

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    I think it needs to be longer and, as has been mentioned, it needs a "hook." Maybe something about how there have been many books written about the overall history of the "Great War," and many more books about individual battles, but here is an intimate look into the day-to-day activities, the hopes, and the fears of one, typical soldier from that great generation. Not an historical novel but an actual account, in the soldier's own words.

    In your other thread, about the cover, I believe you mentioned that Carl was a photographer. I don't remember if you said that you would be using some of his photographs to illustrate the book. If so, I would be sure to mention that.
     
  4. Alexandria M. H.

    Alexandria M. H. New Member

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    Alright, I'll have to play around with the info I have, I haven't finished transcribing yet so I might get more once it's finished. Thanks~
     
  5. Alexandria M. H.

    Alexandria M. H. New Member

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    Hmmm, alright then, I'll try to rework it with a more "this is the from the mouth of the soldier" type of mindset. And I would love to show his photos, but sadly I only have two from when he was in France, two from training, and then his headshot. The rest of his photos are from his time before the war. I haven't ruled out the idea of adding the photos, but I'm still unsure if they would fit.
     
  6. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    optimal blurb length is about 80-150 words so you need to be significantly longer...
     
  7. Alexandria M. H.

    Alexandria M. H. New Member

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    Okay....I think I can get at least 80 words. shouldn't be that hard.
     

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