Hey Mckk, Actually I had this in general writing, but someone moved it to the Marketing. and I know it says summary but it should be Blurb. (I figured out how to change the title and fixed it. ) also, I posted an updated blurb thanks to @XRD_author 's help. I'll still work on it a bit more, maybe add some more without giving things away such as the Warden of Hell. I wasn't going to bother but I ran out of time and didn't want to cause confusion.
That was me - we're putting all the blurbs in marketing as part of the ETB project because they are basically marketing copy (queries are going in the query board but if I understood correctly this is a blurb for Amazon etc) Really we need aboard in the workshop because its critique of writing but that's another of the long list of "has anyone seen Daniel lately" things
Yeah, I feel a little short-changed not getting review credit for what I've done here, but I've enjoyed it, so it's fine. And I learned from it too, natch. But review credit for blurbs shouldn't be equivalent to review credit for chapters/short stories. Maybe reviewing blurbs and other short work should be give one credit and burn two to request, and reviews of longer works should give two and burn 4 to request. Or separate credits for short and long. All that sounds like substantial work, though.
Okay, I updated the OP. I think I figured out my end for the blurb.... hopefully enclosing the theme of the first book. I didn't include the Warden even though that's the next book, because I didn't want to give to much away. He is mentioned briefly in the first book. and the Enemy from the second book, the Granite do make an appearance in book 1. at this moment there isn't much more I can think of without spilling to much into the next books. . the Chalicean Baby I mentioned now, even though the truth about him isn't revealed to book three. because the events of finding him happen in this book. It is hinted that he is important as Tyrius and his Mercenaries are after him.
I agree, you should have gotten some credit as blurbs are an important part of writing. Well, I don't know about that... if you have a terrible blurb, it may keep people from reading what may be a great story. and visa vercea, a good blurb could sell a bad book. . then again, on amazon I saw some okay blurbs and it seems like it sold. so, erh.
Nice. Some minor grammar and sentence styling sugges As heir to the throne, Princess Kristal found growing up especially difficult: her Her (using a colon her implies that the stuff that follows is connected to why growing up was difficult, as does keeping it all one sentence. Otherwise they look like disjoint occurrences to me) parents were struggling to stay at struggled to keep the (keep the peace has an connotation of police work, so I suggest an alternate) peace with neighboring nations, while from the shadows,. And unknown to them all, (I think you started with the catman in the shadows, and in this context it works) an absurd catman was pulling the strings that would birth , giving birth to (I'm keeping the birth of the empire in the future) an Empire. As a young girl, she had not a care in the world. Ignoring the crown that loomed over her head, she enjoyed a life of adventuring in the lands of Tirvuk: roasting rabbits, finishing her ancestor’s quest, and of course finding the perfect gift for her Father’s birthday. Then, in Kaylon Forest, she had her first confrontation with her dear rival, Tyrius Pherangis, and that set everything in motion. And it was there she found the last statuette for her quest – or so she believed -- and rescued an infant slave, who would turn out to be no ordinary child. Her And would find her (I think I see why you used found/finding, but I don't like the flow. Perhaps I'm being subjective) life of adventure was coming to an end as family and duty replaced would replace it. Cleaned up version: As heir to the throne, Princess Kristal found growing up especially difficult: her parents were struggling to stay at peace with neighboring nations, while from the shadows, an absurd catman was pulling the strings that would birth an Empire. As a young girl, she had not a care in the world. Ignoring the crown that loomed over her head, she enjoyed a life of adventuring in the lands of Tirvuk: roasting rabbits, finishing her ancestor’s quest, and of course finding the perfect gift for her Father’s birthday. Then, in Kaylon Forest, she had her first confrontation with her dear rival, Tyrius Pherangis, and that set everything in motion. And it was there she found the last statuette for her quest – or so she believed -- and rescued an infant slave, who would turn out to be no ordinary child. Her life of adventure was coming to an end as family and duty replaced it. The only think I miss here, compared to some of your previous efforts, is an upbeat final line. Something that says that at least a little of the carefree adventurous survives in the dutiful princess. I don't want to think the story ends with our dear Kristal trapped in a life of nothing but royal responsibilities, that would turn me off a little.
Yeah, I guess that's true.... and she does clearly have more adventures but there are bit different in nature from her childhood adventures. such as war and dealing with the Warden of Hell (which is part of the next book) How about "her life of adventure may be coming to an end as family and duty replace it" ... it leaves room that maybe... she will still go out on adventure. Though I suppose I may need to find a bit more. Dealing with Granite (Neighboring nation to the north), the Warden of Hell, Her rivalry with Tyrius truly sparks off, i'm personally looking foward to that. and I wrote it. I was also suggested enigmatic instead of abusrd, an enigmatic catman. I.E.
Yeah, much better. More of a story question ("Will our brave princess still be able to have the adventures she loves?") and less of a spoiler. I like absurd better. Absurd tells me something interesting about how Kristal views the catman. Enigmatic tells me there's something hidden about him, which is kind of generic, especially since he's already operating from the shadows.
Cool thanks, and thank you for the lessons. . and in writing my blurb. I updated my OP with the new version, also I started to think about it and liked Absurd much better. it is something Kristol would say or think about the Catman in Question. .
This has been great practice for the day I have to write a query or blurb. Thanks for the opportunity, @John-Wayne.
Awww you're welcome, it was great practice for the both of us. Since this is my first blurb. so we learned together.
