Hi All, I'm looking for some insight. I'm finding it difficult deciding on how to incorporate dialogue within the retelling of events within a letter in a way that is natural feeling and non obstructive. For some background, I'm currently working on a piece of fan fiction. I find I do better and enjoy more when I write in the first person. So the fic I'm working on would be comprised of a series of letters. Here's a brief explanation in case it helps. The series is BBC's Merlin. The story would be comprised of letters written by Merlin's mentor Gaius, to Merlin's mother, who lives far away. The idea is that while Merlin is studying under Gaius in Camelot he is experiencing great things and developing into a great man and his mother is unable to share in his life. So Gaius keeps a journal/series of letters written to her as time goes by, so that she will have a way to know the son she did not get to see growing into the young man he becomes. But the odd thing here is most of the contents of the letters will be about merlin, who is third person, instead of the content mainly being about the person who is writing the letters, or about the person to whom the writer is speaking, which I think is more normally the case. Naturally there are events and things that happen that Gaius retells to her in these letters, and it would eventually have dialogue involved, what Merlin said or did, or things that were said between Merlin and Gauis, etc. But when I get into the dialogue I begin to feel that I'm slurring into third person territory in a way that feels inconsistent. It doesn't feel natural as far as a personal one-on-one retelling would go. I've tried imagining how I would write such a letter to another person. How would I explain things that were said? But so far I haven't come up with a way that feels organic. I always end up feeling like I'm just slipping back into writing a third person story and it feels off kilter, like it's a story that can't decide what narrative it's supposed to be in. When I try to have Gaius just "explain" what people said instead of using "quoted" dialogue, I start to get a run-on feel that I don't really like. What is some advice for handling dialogue in a scenario like this? Are quotation marks necessary? If so, how do I incorporate them while keeping the essence of this being a personal letter? How can I go about this while retaining a fluid, organic feel? Does anyone have any recommendations for similarly styled novels that I could read as good reference? I've researched some but most I've found have the narrator talking about themselves, or about the person they are writing to, or to no one in specific, and don't include too much dialogue, just mainly internal thoughts and perspective. Any insight would be great. Thanks!
Hi, Is the whole book just letters or is there other narrative in between? If your retelling an actual conversation then you should use single quotes. If for example you are telling Merlins mom about how he's progressing in weapons knowledge then it will be written as Merlin did well in gun quiz and...... Think about school reports and what it says on them. Only instead of not much more than bullet points you are writing in detail about a specific class/training/event. Just a n idea. Think about it the other way - if you received the letter what would you want to know? The other thing to remember is that the tone and point of view of who is sending the letter.
Thanks for your reply! Yes, the concept of the entire fic was that each chapter would be a letter that Gaius composes to Merlin's mother, detailing something important that happened. Sometimes it's something big (Merlin finally mastered a new spell but using it comes at a grim cost and Merlin had to make a choice) and sometimes it's something domestic or intimate but something that a mother would care to know (Merlin is surprised to learn he's unique in being a literate peasant, as most are not, so he takes it upon himself to secretly teach a younger castle servant how to read and write). But each event would be something personal about Merlin that helps develop his character and helps him grow into the great Warlock he's supposed to be. The purpose of the letters is also important because Merlin's destiny is to be a warlock living and serving in a city that would have him executed if he were discovered, so both Gaius and Merlin's mother know that Merlin's life could end at any time. If that were to happen, Gaius at least knows Merlin's mother will have SOME kind of account of her boy's life before he died through these letters. Or perhaps journal entries, etc. However, a lot of the events would also focus on Prince Arthur, since he's the other half of Merlin's story and most things involve him. So there's bound to be a lot of relaying of speech and action that happens between the two. This is where I really get caught up. Is it better to let Gaius slip into a "flashback like" retelling: Arthur raged into the room, jaw set. "What do you mean, Merlin? She lied to me!" "She didn't," Merlin corrected quietly, but his voice was steady. He raised his head and squared his shoulders. "She came to these chambers, as she claimed, but it's not Gaius who treated her. It was me. That's why Gaius didn't know about it, why no one knew." Or is it better to have Gaius more or less summarize most/all dialogue: Arthur raged into the room, eyes flashing and jaw set. He insisted Gwen must have lied, and demanded an explanation. Merlin spoke quietly, but his voice was steady. He raised his head and squared his shoulders and admitted that Gwen did come to my chambers, as she claimed, but it was he who had treated her. That was why I had no memory of it, why no one else had known about it. Naturally I'd also be interspersing Gaius' interpretations, thoughts, etc. throughout. The first feels more natural to me but not for a letter style. The second feels more letter style but feels like it has less impact, and, after too long, verges into run-on territory. I'm just not sure how to properly traverse this landscape, so to speak, despite my love for writing in the first person. Also, when you say single quotes, do you mean: "Single quotes," or do you mean: 'Single quotes?' Sorry just want to be sure I understand. I liked the idea of having Gaius be the letter-writer, because he slowly comes to view Merlin as his own son, and is another "observer" of Merlin's growth, so he's able to be a bit objective. So he can relay things from his perspective that Merlin himself may not realize or see about himself. It also gives the opportunity to relay sympathy to Merlin's mother, as now Gaius is also like a parental figure and can share in her love for a son, type thing.
I'm so sorry, but none of your examples in bold sounds remotely like a letter. Both examples sound like a narrator. I'm not even considering the *time period* which these letters are supposed to be from. Sometimes, when writing to a friend, I do try to do a bit of "showing" instead of "telling", but that is merely: Then you know what she did? She looked at me, all angry, and said it was my fault. "You're a disgrace", her exact words. Then she turned and left the room fuming before I could even reply. Can you believe the nerve?! I'm not speaking to her again. Am I wrong? Tell me, honestly, am I? ^^ Sounds like a letter. A letter from me, at least.
