I noticed a couple of sites that I use for a bit of early morning procrastination were slow this morning so I just ran a check to see whether it was my connection I was pretty impressed at the result - nearly 19mb/s (and 8 upstream). I'd be disappointed if it was fibre-optic, but my broadband is provided by an old blackberry with a busted screen and a three data sim... That's actually pretty good!
Blimey - have you tried wetting the string? or getting some sophisticated equipment like mine (the cling film is to collect the shards of broken screen...)
Dial up is my only option right now. I don't even get cellular service at my place at the moment and have to take a quick jog down the road any time I want send a few texts.