1. Jay Lafountain

    Jay Lafountain New Member

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    Can this character be so capricious without getting annoying?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Jay Lafountain, Nov 7, 2016.

    Hey, this is my first post on here, so sorry if I mess anything up. Nonetheless, what I came here for, let's get to that. Yeah? Good.

    Okay. So I have this character named Amethyst - it sounds stupid and childish, but just stay with me - she is a white cat with purple wings and a necklace and a few markings. Irrevelant. But, there is a group of twelve cats that rule the Months - these cats are called the Protectors. They are each named after one of the birthstones, and rule their corresponding month. What happened is that they're immortal, unless they are seen by the eyes of a human. In a moment of unbearable agony they writhe until they dissolve into ashes, and on those ashes a new Protector is born in it's place - looking exactly the same, but not the same cat. It is the size and age of a kitten. In this world, the Protectors are not allowed to have mates and kits.
    Amethyst's parents, Garnet and Peridot, broke the code and eventually Garnet had Amethyst. Since this was against the rules, Garnet and Peridot are treated like lesser beings and Amethyst is treated like a worthless piece of trash (so eloquent, I know) by most. She is seen as a product of traitorous acts, which she technically is.

    Back on point! Assuming I've given you enough information, I want to make sure her personality makes sense. She is mostly cold and distant, and not friendly to trespassers. The only kind things you would ever see from her is when she visits her parents or if someone is friendly toward her, which is unusual. She can also be annoyed at most times at the smallest things, and she can become paranoid due to terrible omens. She goes a little crazy after starting to see visions, and she becomes even more angry and pouring with self hate and her hate for the world around her. Then she is even seen to be murderous, for when she is furious her anger drifts out of her soul and becomes it's own ghost. Also, when she encounters the antagonists, she doesn't hesitate to kill her and throws herself into a bloody frenzy. Lastly, she always has dreams and tends to commit suicide by falling into a river of blood where her family was washed away. Well, actually that was not lastly. She is seen to have affection for a member of the Protectors after she goes on a journey - Topaz. She generally develops feelings for him but never speaks, and tends to act silent and stiff around him. She is even seen to be jealous around Lux, a housepet they encounter that seems a bit too friendly toward Topaz.

    So, my question is, does all of this make sense? Does it have enough details to develop a good, strong character, or is it too evil/too good? Would this be a good character, or does it seem much too fickle? Any help would be great.

    Once again, this is my first post, so sorry if I made any mistakes!
     
  2. Quanta

    Quanta Senior Member

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    It looks to me like you know your character and your story line well.
    If Amethyst is so evil on the outside, I think that she must hurt a lot on the inside. I would, if everybody treated me like trash.
    Might she be a little bit angry at her parents too? After all, they put her into this mess. If I were her, I would also be wary of a kind stranger. They might just pretend kindness to better hurt me later.
    I imagine that her deepest desire would be to find love and acceptance and it seems like she will have to learn to love herself first before she can let others love her.
    I hope this helps, keep only what feels right to you.
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  3. Jay Lafountain

    Jay Lafountain New Member

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    She does hurt on the inside, and that fuels her anger that she is always presenting on the outside. Yes, I have tried to incorporate some anger toward her family, but then again I haven't written much of the story yet, just about thirty pages. She hasn't had interactions with either of her parents, so far. I had planned her having an angry outburst on her family, making them feel guilty for something they really shouldn't be guilty for. Also, I like the view that she would be wary of a stranger. I cannot believe I didn't think about her past when writing the prologue, that was my mistake. Thank you for pointing that out - I will make sure to incorporate that! :-D
     
  4. SardonicWriter

    SardonicWriter Member

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    Hmm. Avatar with fur-like tail and ears...Animated emoji with Fedora.

    It is up to you to develop a character that both suits the story and the reader. There always has to be a balance.
    Sounds to me as if this character has gone through torturous events and dispels her inner hatred at others
    and toward her self as well. For the character to be on the fringe somewhere on the fringe between madness and
    clarity opaqueness and then rise up as a champion is a neat idea; that thought just came to me.

    Execution is everything. Think of it and if you're capable enough, you can make anything work.

     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.

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