I'm thinking of having a character foreshadow a certain plot twist, but I don't want it to be too obvious. So I'll post the foreshadowing here, and see if you guys can guess what this character is predicting. The protagonist is a vampire who has recently been cursed with getting her soul back. She goes in search of someone who could probably remove it, a pirate sorceress named Morgana. Problem is, no one has seen any hint of Morgana for almost a year - not even her own henchmen. They're not sure if she's in hiding, been killed, being held prisoner in secret, etc, etc. Then the protagonist finds someone who strongly hints that she knows what happened to Morgana, but refuses to say outright. She confirms that Morgana is still alive, but says 'if you do manage to find Morgana, you won't really find Morgana'. Any guesses what she's talking about?
Nothing seems too obvious just from reading that. Presumably from the line the "someone" said, it's something like Morgana has changed in some way.
You didn't give too much away, but the first thought that popped into my head is that her identity changed.. Also, if you feel you are giving too much away, you could drop hints that point in one direction and then switch everything around and take a different path? I always like stories that keep me guessing.
Seems pretty obvious to me. Spoiler Unable to retrieve the vampire's original soul, Morgana infused her own soul into the vampire.
Just to clarify: Morgana had nothing to do with the vampire getting her soul back. It's just that the vampire has reason to believe she could remove the soul again.
Spoiler Morgana is one of the two people in that room when that conversation takes place. But she is no longer the sorceress, and she no longer has the magic to banish the vamp's soul. Eithe it is the vamp herself, or the person who knows Margana is still alive. Probably the latter.
A thing about plot twists that kind of makes this exercise semi-irrelevant: 1. You told us that there was a plot twist. If I were someone reading your story and had all of these facts, I don't necessarily know that there is going to be a plot twist. And so it would be less likely I uncover said plot twist in that case (compared to what went on in this thread). 2. Sometimes even if you know that there is a plot twist... even if you suspect you might know what the plot twist is... because you aren't 100% sure you still keep reading. There's always the chance the author put that in as a red herring or something to that effect. As long as you don't just completely telegraph it, you'll be fine.
What you have to worry about when it comes to plot twists is starting with a generic plot that is very... twistable. A reader might pick up the book and say: "Wow, seen this before" and stop reading before they discover the plot twists that you have so carefully crafted.
Good, seems like it's not too obvious. It's not for the reader that I want it to be obscure, by the way. It's for the protagonist, she needs to be surprised by the outcome.) And now I'll tell you: When they finally find Morgana, she has severe brain damage and is functioning like a toddler. That's what this character is hinting at.
Don't put all your eggs in the twist basket. Many readers will see the twist coming, no matter how clever you are, or think you are. Even if you do surprise the reader, a good twist doesn't make the reader want to read the story again, or to see more of the story. The story is made or broken by the characters, and by the ability to tell a good story. A twist is a trick, a stunt. Tricks and stunts don't grab readers and hold them. Good, solid writing is what captures readers and wins them over, a page at a time. It's not the twists or the ah HAHs, it's not quirky narrative experiments. There are no shortcuts. Master the fundamentals. Bring your characters to life, and get your readers to fall in love with them.
If that is the case, I can tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Unless we're talking about some kind of Sherlock Holmes-esque character that are known for taking the tiniest details and uncovering the craziest mysteries... I think you can get away with the protagonist not making the connection.
Morgana is obvious the girl she is talking to about Morgana's location. Like Yoda in StarWars when Luke goes looking for Yoda and finds this person who knows where Yoda is at...Of course Lucas doesn't leave this a mystery for long so it wasn't so much a twist as it was hope for the rebellion. Morgana is also a League of Legends Champion, Dark Mage. If it's a fantasy book most people will make this connection, so don't make morgana to flowery.
Don't take my words to heart on this, but... the way you presented the twist here it seems quite a letdown to me I was expecting something a little more dramatic, I guess. Probably depends on how you weave it in, though.
Ditto GillySoose - the "twist" seems like a let down for me too. When I read it, I kinda raised an eyebrow in a "Huh?" kinda expression. I guess in a way, when it's a powerful and supernatural sort of character, we expect them to be stronger, beyond being damaged physically like that. Depends on how you write.
