In a writing panel I attended once, an audience member asked if the panel knew of any good stories without sexual/romantic themes because it was what he wanted to write, and the panelist doing most of the talking basically shot him down and said she felt like any story without that sort of content would be completely boring. Made me pretty sad. Anyway, yeah, romance holds no real attraction (eh? eh??) for me and I'm one of those people who groans when I realize a show I like is shoehorning in a love interest for a main character. As often as not it's just because it feels forced and unnecessary and just isn't written in a compelling and interesting way. A lot of romancey plots are just predictable and uninteresting as a result to me. It's not that they can't be done well and be interesting, but even when they are, I'm just not someone that romance means much to so they don't typically connect. My stuff will often enough have side characters with romantic plots, but very rarely do my mcs have romantic plots, and when they do you can bet they're not HEA. Of the [counts on fingers] eleven leads in my current projects, four are outright aromantic (asexuality's even lesser-known cousin), one's in a long-term relationship with an aro person (it happens!), two end up in ltrs but it's not the focus, once has a longstanding unfulfilled semi-romantic crush-type thing, and the rest never really deal with romance. If you want advice I'm not sure how helpful I can be because not writing romance is my default setting, hahah. But sibling relationships have always been the most interesting to me, so I write about siblings a lot, and that (pretty much, depending on what you wanna do I suppose) precludes romance right out the gate. Having a fraternal or parental relationship as the main focus of the story might be a good place to start. I could also talk about one of my aro girls, Claudia, whose plot is %100 about self-discovery and even if she were interested in romance, she just hasn't got the time and energy to expend on it. So focus your mc on the task at hand and don't let them (or yourself /cough) get too distracted by the cute side character you accidentally came up with. My girl Clauds bonds with side characters over shared experiences (other people learning about themselves and at different points in similar journeys) without it ever crossing her mind to date them just because she's got other/better shit to do - platonic relationships are on some level just simpler than romantic ones (not easier, mind, but mostly simpler) and maintaining them while doing other stuff just makes sense for her. When things settle down somewhat (read: after the conclusion of the main plot), she gets into a more serious relationship with someone she met along the way - it's still not romantic, but it does take up a little more time and energy that a regular friendship. More of a platonic life partners sorta deal. That probably doesn't help at all but I'm unsure how else to put it? My advice appears to be "just don't do the thing", whoops. I guess I'd say just try to distill your previous projects into "what relationship is this about?" and conceive of a non-romantic relationship (whether it's siblings, parent/child, or just close platonic friends [if necessary say their respective genders+sexualities prevent attraction]) to build a plot around. I like characters whose plots are unabashedly about their relationships with themselves (see Clauds) so specifically designing a story that necessitates a skeleton cast to help keep you on track could work. For me at least, going with a ground-up method like that is the best way to figure out how to do something new.
Tossing my hat in here just to see where it lands. Unless you're writing about a complete sociopath, it's probably impossible to completely avoid chemistry between characters. If you're trying to avoid romance in particular, I suggest giving your characters something more important to focus on. My protagonist's survival is dependent completely upon deception and evasion, so... you can imagine how close he is with others. It might help if you plan out your project in full before writing it (or at least plan it in chunks and then write those chunks). Know how it ends, know what the conflicts are, etc. If you're discovery-writing and just letting the story go where it will, it seems pretty reasonable that you'd fall into your old habits instead of challenging yourself. I agree, writing outside your comfort zone sounds like a fantastic exercise. Make a plan, stick to it, good luck!
@izzybot "shoehorning"; what is your criteria for that? It sounds a lot like your complaining when it feels like the character as a love interest primarily. Well, do you feel the same way about obligatory best friend character? It sounds like you migth not be being fair with that complaint. As @Imaginarily said, chemistry occurs. How many people do you know that don't end up in relationships even unsuccessful ones? Humans crave companions and one form of very strong companion is a love interest. It exists in stories for these family, friends, death or jobs do. It's a common human experience that has potentially very powerful themes and fulfills a very useful function within the plot. You can avoid it but I don't see why you should see to do that.
I think there are a few categories here. One, the classic romance, where the whole point of the story is for the couple in question to get together at the end. This can be anything from clunkily written Harlequins to full-on literary stories like Pride and Prejudice. Two, the story in any genre where the main focus of the story is on something else, but the couple in question end up together at the end. Umpteen stories in this category. Thinking off the top of my head ...The Shipping News. Three, where the couple in question is already together (or get together very early in the story) and they solve the story's problems together and remain together. Mrs Mike. Four, of course, are the stories where romance and coupling-up doesn't enter into the story at all. To Kill a Mockingbird.
Regarding shoehorning, I'd say my criteria is mostly: does it improve the plot / make it more interesting? A romantic subplot that plays out like most other romantic subplots I've seen isn't interesting to me and I always feel like the time spent on it could've been better spent developing some other aspect of the story, but there's such a societal focus on romance that plots about it seem borderline compulsory at times, and that's when I feel it's shoehorned in. Someone brought up The Martian earlier, and not to try to diss them for mentioning they'd've liked a romantic subplot in that (you do you), but personally I'm really glad it didn't. IMO a story about a botanist stuck alone on Mars, injured and initially presumed dead, with very limited supplies and minimal means of communication with any other human beings, is incredibly compelling on its own. "I want to survive because fuck you, Mars" is much more memorable and novel than "I want to survive because I have to get home to my love interest" to me. I don't think having someone specific on Earth to get back to would have enriched The Martian in any way (romantic or otherwise). I'm not sure what you mean by 'obligatory' best friend character? The character I mention my girl Claudia settling down with is part of the story from the beginning and has a large role outside of her and Claudia's eventual close bond, so by my definition at least she's not shoehorned in. I'm unclear on what you perceive as a potentially unfair criticism. Romantic partners and best friends both happen in most peoples' lives - focusing on a relationship with the self or with a platonic partner is just off the top of my head what I suggested as a substitute for focusing on a relationship with a romantic partner. They can also be very powerful and useful in plots. Humans craving companions is fair but I mean, I have strong feelings of companionship for my mom, my brother, my cat, and all the friends who I have no romantic feelings for - romantic love isn't the only option. Took me three girlfriends to realize that If chemistry occurs, cool, and by all means write romance - genre or subplot - but OP was specifically asking about not writing romance so that's just kinda what I talked about. I personally don't really write it because it doesn't appeal to me, which is the perspective I was coming from.
Well, what I meant was that I like a family member or a best friend, a love interest plays a role in the characters life as someone they interact with and potentially show a different more compassionate and/or vulnerable side of them. Like with my character Tai and his boyfriend Chen, at least in one version of the relationship, there's an alternate reality thing going in that story. If you can value a friend interaction you can value a romance interaction. I kind of sympathise with you on this though. A few years ago I was too immature to take romance seriously, not that I'm saying that's what you're doing, I knew of it, and wanted it, but I barely thought about and didn't connect with concept in story. Now I can make myself cry thinking about sad relationship stuff in my stories, I almost never used to cry at fiction. It does sometimes feel gratuitous in life and in fiction how much people think and talk about relationships, but that kind of intimacy is very powerful. I know that now that I have experienced definitely more-than-lust feelings for a guy. Even a crush can do things to you. I had a phase where I was fucked up about the situation because he's straight. But hey, enough indulging my ranting urges, the point is that you don't have to care as much about it as other people, but I think it's something that should be appreciated as contributing to life and to stories.
I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna say that romantic relationships - in real life or in fiction - are without value. I'm not. I've definitely been invested in them in fiction when they were novel to me (a couple years ago I reread one of my favorite books as a teenager and totally still cried happy tears over the culmination of the romance subplot, hahah). The thread's just about not writing them, so, yknow.
But my point is I don't see why you should avoid them. They're very normal and serve a good purpose. If you have no ideas for a romantic subplot, go ahead, but if you do you shouldn't suppress them. Not unless the idea is flawed in of itself.
I disagree with this. I mean, it's dismissive of asexuality, but even for the broader population, I don't think it's accurate. There are a lot of people in the world toward whom I feel absolutely no romantic or sexual interest. The vast majority of people, really, considering that I'm quite straight, so all women are of no interest to me, plus a significant number of men. So if I were in a story with those people, there'd be no romance. I assume the same is true for others. If you have a homogeneous group of straight men or women having an adventure, no romance. If two straight characters of different sexes who just don't like the other person that much have an adventure, no romance. etc. I'd say romantic relationships are much more common in fiction than in real life.
Well - I don't avoid them? Like I said in my original post, I do have a slew of side characters with romantic plots, and three of the eleven mcs I counted are involved in romantic plots (though one is only one-sidedly romantic). I'm not saying they're not normal or don't serve a purpose. I'm not suppressing them. I'm just genuinely not as interested in portraying them as I am in exploring relationships between siblings or close platonic friends or or a single character's relationship with themself. It's cool.
I'd disagree. I think first of all you're being distracted by the fact they appear frequently and missing the fact that inmost the majority of characters aren't in one. And secondly you're missing how many real life couples there are? You know where babies come from , right? There's a lot of parents out there.
Nothing is absolutely needed in stories. Though romance between the MC and someone else is quite an easy and fool-proof way to bring more flavour to characters. And like many pointed out, humans relate to it very easily. We all want to be loved, we know that feeling. And if someone doesn't, have a hug?!?!!??!
It's probably easier to write than you think. Take any story where the romance is shoehorned into it and just remove it.
I agree. If the romantic element feels less necessary then it won't be that hard to get rid of. Some aspects of a story are less important than others.
This doesn't make sense to me. There are countless fictional characters not involved in romances and not-sociopaths. I'm wondering what kind of fiction you're consuming, that you seem to be unaware of this even as a possibility.
I think he means as a whole book, not that every chracter has chemistry, but that there will be some somewhere.
In my own personal experience, I am a highly romantic person in real life that uses my loved ones as my primary motivation. So I like to read about it a lot. It doesn't exactly make the novel unreadable, just less interesting to me. Kind of like someone who normally reads Science Fiction and dislikes mystery trying to read a mystery novel. If that makes any sense.
Yea, I'd tend to agree with you. We are social creatures, and thus love and taking care of others just comes naturally in what we want to read. It makes sense, considering those are some of our most driving emotions and books are meant to make you feel. I actually did find a pretty good one: The original War of Worlds book.
I'd actually tend to agree with you. I hate reading books that are just straight romance. I like an even balance, my favorite book ideally would be one with a greater plot and meaning behind it, but with a heavy emphasis on romance as well. Romance novels are all so unrealistic I just get freaking bored. Because it's always some unrealistic, idealized meeting, and then this perfect little relationship, than some kind of insecure or family based drama, and then happily ever after and/or death. It's basically like the "Vanilla plot," of the writing world, so basic XD.
I'm not exactly trying to avoid it as just tone it down a little bit. Because I am currently trying to write a science fiction novel with heavy political themes and a lot of war content, and I keep focusing too much on the relationship between two particular characters who aren't even the primary characters in the book, and I am finding it difficult to move my plot along because it's also such an important two characters in the grand scheme of things. I don't really know what I'm going to write, this is indeed just like you said: A practice to make me a more rounded writer as I am actually seriously trying to get a novel published one of these days.
Oh, I forgot about that. Then you need to add 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. While we're at it, the Divine Comedy probably counts as well.
Interesting points here on what you're trying to do. Because it might be relevant, I'll give a few examples of how this was handled in "The Three Body Problem", which I cited earlier. I'll try not to spoil too much for anyone reading, but I'll put down a warning. That story has two protagonists in two timelines - Ye Winjie and Wang Miao. Neither's life is entirely devoid of romance but it's not a focal point for either in the story. Ye Winjie's story runs from the 1960s up to present-day and shows her gradual evolution into an isolated misanthrope as she spends most of her life working at a top-secret base in the middle of nowhere. Over the course of the story she does get married, end the marriage, and have a child. However, she's a pretty cold person based on earlier life trauma and doesn't feel romantic love. There are plenty of relationships that come in and out of her life, including a romantic one of sorts, but that one does not take up all that much of the book. Wang Miao's story is told entirely in the present day, he's a nanomaterials researcher gets sucked into the results of the above mentioned secret project. He also has an element of romance - he's married at the beginning and you see glimpses of his home life. However, the main relationship he develops through the story is with Shi Quang, an aggressive and very blunt policeman who has little formal education but lots of street smarts. At the beginning, Wang hates Shi and thinks he's an ill-mannered cretin. However, the gradually build a friendship and learn to rely on each other to make up the gaps in their own experiences. Brandon Sanderson likes to point out that a lot of "buddy cop" stories actually follow the same basic plot structure as Romances - you have the same relationship steps, except the characters learn to be friends and working partners rather than romantic partners. That definitely was the case with Wang and Shi - and you might be able to write a similar subplot into your sci-fi work.
