So I want to write a story about a man who finds himself trapped in his subconscious (Too bad we can't edit titles . I realize the error now) with a girl whom he barely recognizes. This man is a car salesman who lost his son in Iraq, and he blames himself because the reason why his son enlisted is because he always thought his dad was too "posh" or "feminine," and he had something to prove. Why is the girl in his mind? She's talking him through his feelings. Eventually, I want to reveal some things about the girl, and how he knows who she is. At one point in the story, he realizes that he visited her house on a sales call 'cause he was trying to sell this clunker that had been sitting on the lot for ages. This house is lower middle-class at best, and he noticed that she's getting ready for a date wearing $600 heels. He turns the tables on her eventually. Does that sound...I dunno....god awful? EDIT: I just read the FAQ, so don't flog me just yet. What I'm asking really is whether or not the whole "son dies Iraq" thing way too cliche?
Just a nitpick - it's the subconscious, not sub-conscience. A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read this thread about What is Plot Creation and Development? Story themes recur because they generate compelling stories. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy wins girl back is the basis of many stoiries, and it still works. Man loses his son to war, and searches his soul is just as valid a basis for a story. But it all depends on how well you write it. To borrow from Nike, Just Do It.
I second that. If that's what you have in you to write then write it. If you feel strongly about an idea you will write it better than if you don't like it. Loosing someone in Iraq isn't cliche. It's something that happens all that time any more. People die every day in various ways. Death, loss, and grief are never cliche. They are very real parts of every day life. It's all up to you how the story comes out. What it looks like how it's said. All up to you. There are only so many plot ideas in the world. It's all up to how it's written. I've read many books with similar plots. Some I hated and some I loved. What made them different though? The writer.