Character Bar (Explicit, 18+)

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Commandante Lemming, May 17, 2017.

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  1. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Hello, Alex, Anna. How are you this fine evening?
    (Extends hand in warm greeting.) :supersmile:
     
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  2. Fernando.C

    Fernando.C Contributor Contributor

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    Anna: *Shakes hands* I'm doing great, it's nice to meet you, ah we still don't know your name.
    Alex: *Also Shakes hands* Yeah it's great to meet you. You don't seem concerned by the idea of talking to vampires, it's sort of refreshing actually.
     
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  3. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Feel free to address me as you see fit. :)

    And no I hold little concern, as I am quite fond of
    dealing with all types in a much more adult manner,
    if you catch my drift. ;)
    While it is not as common for my patients to risk their
    pearly whites, I think you guys will find me quite the
    interesting conversationalist.
    Though I offer many treatments in a SSC and fun
    way, that we can all enjoy. :D
     
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  4. Fernando.C

    Fernando.C Contributor Contributor

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    Alex: and just like that, you suddenly became so much more interesting.
    Anna: I'll say
     
  5. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Hi. It's me, Homer. I'm not a character or anything, but I heard the adults opened a bar where we can swear and drink and talk about those nasty sex things, so I just wanted to check it out, pull my wiener out, balance some whiskey shots on it, drink them, ogle some titties, take a dump on the bar, and then pass out in the bathroom. Good times!
     
  6. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Alec: Uh, don't authors have, like, literally the entire rest of the site to themselves? Is there literally nowhere here that authors could, oh I dunno, Lounge around and bullshit to their hearts' content with other authors?
     
  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Fear not, Alec. I just poked my head in to see what all the sex and swearing was about. Once I pick myself off this restroom floor I'll be on my way.
     
  8. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Telemachus Sneezed
    Asch: "Y'all got anything sweet here? Charlie's gonna wake up soon, and once he does, he won't shut up until he's fed. Shit," the attractive woman looks down at herself, squeezes her breasts, and quickly shoves a hand under the waistband of her tight jeans, "I'm a chick this time. Huh..."
     
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  9. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Well there is only one way to know for sure. ;)
     
  10. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Asch: Yeah, not gonna happen, and I'll give you a whole bunch of reasons why. First, this body may be a chick, but I'm not, I'm a guy, I'm just borrowing this body for a while, which is #2. I don't know anything about the lady that goes with the body, and I know Charlie and I are on pretty dodgy ethical ground taking her over, but I'm not going to just expose her to whatever you or anyone else is incubating. Next, even if I wanted to get laid, I can't feel a damn thing in here. They say it's something to do with her neural pathways not being adapted to my mind or some such shit. Of course, I could wait around for a couple days, but....

    She turned away for a moment.

    ...that doesn't work out so well for the host, okay? I mean, I thought...I thought it was pretty cool the first time, getting out of the hospital. Thought it was pretty cool being a girl too, just seeing how it felt and all. Managed to stay hidden for nearly a week before they realized I was Occupied and caught up with me, and believe me, short of keeping me in that cage 24/7, they can't fucking hold me if I don't want to be held. But the thing is, Tonya had a family, she had a daughter, but by the time they pried me out of her, her mind was gone. She's on a ventilator and a nasal feeding tube now, always will be.

    Oh, and yeah... the last reason I'm not going to fuck you? Because you're a fucking AUTHOR! It was one of you fuckers that did this to me, to Tonya, to the whole fucking world! God-fucking-damn all of you to fucking hell, all I wanted was a drink, shit shit shit. Fuck this, barkeep? Make sure this young lady gets home safe, okay? She'll have a bit of a headache, but I haven't been in here long enough to cause permanent damage.

    She moved over to one of the tables, sat down, and rested her head on her forearms. Then suddenly, her body spasmed once, and when she looked up, her face was full of fear and confusion. "How did I get here? Where's here?"
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2017
  11. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Aidan : Is there a bounty on authors these days ?

    Ortho : lets kill him anyway in case there is .... reaches for chainmace
     
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  12. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Wow, ok...
    I'm a go sit over there. Way over there
    and just sit and think for a bit, finish this beer.
    (I knew going out was a bad idea)
     
  13. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Aidan: not you bro - that homer guy. still best you stand back, lest you want blood on your clothes... that mace really spatters it about
     
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  14. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    I think I am out of the 'splashzone' over here. :D
     
  15. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Aidan: you might want to cover your drink ;)
     
  16. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    :superidea:
     
  17. Commandante Lemming

    Commandante Lemming Contributor Contributor

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    Ortlinde: *setting out beers* Nobody kill the authors. Although if you're in here as a character, please make sure you let us know your name. And @Homer Potvin, stick around - bring your friends - preferably your imaginary ones. We don't bite (well, Anna does).
     
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  18. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Ortho - whirls chain mace and gets it stuck in the ceiling "son of a troll fucking whore"

    Wray - entering "and that is why the mace is not a good indoor weapon, i'd have thought you'd have learnt after what happened in Shannon"

    Aidan laughing "everyone this is Wray, the last of my band, he's a really short human, he definitely isn't a dwarf... he gets really violent if people make jokes about gold mining and horned helmets so try not to do that. If you notice the similarity in name to the chief moderator here, its because our author made a homage in his naming scheme.

    Wray : I've caught up with you at last then ... I went where you said but some guy called Risky knackers or something said he'd asked you to leave because of your nasty coarse language
     
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  19. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Charlie: Aw, crap.

    Amy: Well then it's a good thing he wasn't using a mace! Maces are solid shafts with weights at the end; shafts with chains that end in weights are called "Flails"!

    Charlie: Oh, OK, that's better. I was just worried that ...

    Amy: That what?

    Charlie: Never mind.

    Amy: That I would take his comment about "flails are not good indoor weapons" and say –

    Charlie: Here we go...

    Amy: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!

    Alec: Hey, Amy, before you go all Barbarian Rage on his ass –

    Charlie: Good luck.

    Alec: – is it possible that weapons are just named differently in his world than in ours?
     
  20. Commandante Lemming

    Commandante Lemming Contributor Contributor

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    Ortlinde: Nobody swings fucking maces in my bar! I've got too much expensive shit in here, and some of it took me a very long time to get a hold of.
     
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  21. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Ortho : sigh there's always one know it all. A flail is either a handle with multiple chains each attached to small weight, or two wooden handles joined by a length of chain like a sloppy nunchuck ... a weapon like this (whirls it demonstratively smashing his own glass and the one next to it and splashing ale all over Aidan) with a handle and a spiked ball on the end is a chain mace.

    Oh and Darlin' I swing my weapon where I like ... if you're nice i'll give you a private demonstration later...

    Aidan : that's a pint and a new pair of britches you owe me... and if you think you're going to score there (shakes head) something tells me she's not your standard alehouse wench, anyone's for a penny..
     
  22. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Amy: Yeah, chain mace, not mace mace! Why didn't you just say that the first time, mace maces are rigid weapons!

    Alec: Hey, maybe this would be a good chance for the two of you to kiss and make up somewhere private and quiet?

    Amy: You mean "kiss and make-up" as code for I get him alone, strip naked so my clothing doesn't get messy, then beat him senseless before gutting him like a fish? Or are you literally trying to wing-man for me right now?

    Alec: ... Well, I would've thought it could be up to you, but now that you just told him about the first one, you kinda have to go with the second one if anything. You know, none of that "element of surprise" anymore.

    Amy: Are you just saying that so you and Charlie don't have to help me clean up after myself again?

    Alec: If either one of us had a problem with that, don't you think we'd have told you before now?
     
  23. Commandante Lemming

    Commandante Lemming Contributor Contributor

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    Ortlinde: *catches mace ball with her hand, which starts to glow red as she slowly presses down, melting her fingers down into the metal*

    I said no fucking maces!

    *drops mace head on the bar, revealing that a handprint haso been melted into it*
     
  24. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    A slightly built, elderly black man in a checked yellow suit steps into the bar. He removes his fedora, revealing a bald head that shines so brilliantly that it appears to have been freshly waxed and polished.

    Asch: I'm back, sorry about that. Did you get the girl home okay? Ooh, that's a cool morning star!
     
  25. Commandante Lemming

    Commandante Lemming Contributor Contributor

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    Claramilla: Is there no one in here who isn't a complete psycho?

    Agnethe: Well, I only have mild ASPD, so I'm more like a PARTIAL sociopath.

    Claramilla: Will you stop calling yourself that - it's messed up.

    Agnethe: No, it just means I don't feel as much empathy as you do. Or as much as our receptionist.

    Claramilla: What doea the receptionist have to do with anything?

    Agnethe: I just got a text from HQ - they got another package. She fainted when she opened it.
     

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