~Clare's Cookbook~ Clare: Mm. Yes, this batch looks potent-- Oh hello there, didn't see you. Welcome to our little booth. I am your host; Clarifel 'Clare' Caseus, and this is my little assistant, Magsie. Say hello to our guests, buddy. Mags: Hullo. [Bashful Mags tucks herself underneath Clare's shirt.] Clare: She's a little shy around strangers. Don't worry, she'll warm up to you with enough positive conditioning. Its okay, Mug-Mugs. We're here to teach the peoples about our proud culinary history passed down from the countless Grannies throughout our history or maybe Granny is an immortal being that wandered the lands for eons, who knows. It is a great honor to continue this legacy, and I will need a helping hand, Magsie. Mags: ...Really? Clare: Mm. Mags: Okay! [Mags hops. She's still tucked inside Clare's shirt because its warm in there.] Clare: Awesome. Let's start the day with a simple yet supercharging breakfast; The G.E.C.K.O. Mags: G.E.C.K.O.! Clare: THE G.E.C.K.O., buddy. The Golden Egg Cobble King Omelette. Mags: Oh! Dee... Gol-Golf Hen Egg Gobble K-Kim Omega-kettle. Clare: Close 'nuff. To make the ultimate The G.E.C.K.O. triple set, we need three Golden Eggs 'procured' from Miss Cheeck'n, a bottle of Ruin Goat Milk harvested within thirty minutes, and three freshly baked Cobble Breads from Master Flan's bakery bought at exactly 4:30 am. We must plan our route across the town accordingly as the window of opportunity will continue to narrow down every passing second. Once we have everything... Toss 'em in a hot pan. [The astonished Mags claps her small hands.] Thanks. Next up: Paralysis Pudding.
Truman: So, Ann, Lumis? What brings you away from studies to otherworldly dimensions? Any adventures to share with us? Don't worry about these two, * mags/claire * their new culinary show is probably just part of their plan to take over the multiverse. Heh heh.
Ann: Well, Lumis was sneaking off on her own again, and I followed her! Lumis: I was just wandering around... Ann: Besides, Lumis doesn't study, anyways. She just spends all her free time at who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. Sometimes, she straight up ditches us! I have to follow her so I know what's going on; it's my job! Lumis: ... What's the "multiverse?" Ann: Angel knows a lot about it. Maybe if you stopped avoiding him, you'd learn about cool things like that. Lumis: *Stares at the ground.* ... Ann: *To Claire and Mags* I can cook too, you know. You wanna try some fudge?
Kirika: I believe the multiverse is what enables us all to speak to one another. It is beyond me how it works, though. Asiri: I must ask—what is fudge?
Ann: Fudge is the best! I make peanut butter fudge, where you melt peanut butter, milk, and sugar together in a bowl. Then, you stick it in the fridge and wait for it to cool, and that's fudge! Lumis: ... It would probably be easier to let them taste some... Ann: That's a great idea! I'll be right back! *Runs back to her house.* Lumis: *Waits for Ann to be definitely gone, then glares at the others.* All right, I know a trick when I see it. What is this place? Did Reign make this? Are any of you even real?
Clare: This pudding is real enough. See for yourself. Its been a week but that thingy guarding our tent's entrance hasn't moved an inch. Mags: Fio! Clare: Fine. Help me set this up and I'll give you the cure. Mags: Okay! [~Clare's Cookbook~] [Mags trots her way to Fio to administer the panacea] Clare: Mm. Yes, yes. No need to explain. Just sprinkle your substance of choice to any food or beverage and its good to go. Remember to balance your dosage appropriately to achieve the desired result. Also keep the foodstuff's... suspicious-ness to a minimum. Mags: Fio! [huff] Maggie will... save Fio! [Mags makes Fio chug a liter of 'antidote'.] Clare: The substance I used is a byproduct of the process of extracting soap material from a local farm fungi. Yield is about a teaspoon per fifty kilos and increasing. You see, the science peoples back at our science place are trying to eliminate this 'unneeded' trait. Non-lethal, clean , humane, very effective, very expensive. Be thankful for experiencing its wonderful effect first-hand. Fio: [Unintelligible garbling] Clare: I see you're finally awake. The antidote is also handcrafted by none other than... me. I couldn't find a proper fermentation agent to break down the solution so Mugs and I... [Fio finally figures out what she's been chugging] Next up: The Fruitbar.
NEW CHARACTER ALERT ... NEW CHARACTER ALERT . . . New Little Princess: So, then! They call me the New Li'l Princess. It's 'cos I wear a shiny tiara ("I am zirconium!") when I perform. Also, I guess, 'cos I wear a dress like Lady Jane Grey wore in the movie. I'm 9. In 2025, I'm kind o' sort o' becomin' a music star. I play piano very fast. I write me own songs, in English and Spanish.I sing when I have to: not great, they say. I was born in England bu' me family all went to Guatemala when I was 6. Now I speak Spanish. Bu' when I speak English, all I can remember is wha' I heard in Manchester or from me Scots mum. So, it's different from yours. If ya want to chat, I'm game. Room seems a bit full of non-existent people here: even dragons, ee-ya! (Scared!) But look for the wee one wi' the buttered spaghetti box braids down to her knees and the Lady Jane Grey dress: ya canno' miss me!
Lumis: I don't care if you look like kids- Ann: *Smacks Lumis in the back of the head.* Just ignore her, guys. She's gone a little stir crazy. Lumis: I'm not crazy! Reality could be a lie and we wouldn't even know it! Ann: *Ignoring Lumis* So, who wants to try some fudge?
Mags: Oh! Oh! Maggie! MAGGIE! [Mags furiously waves her hands behind Clare] Clare: Whoa. Hold up there, Mugsie. I have to make sure that... fudge thingy isn't spiked. Mags: But! Clare: No butts. There are lots of cruel and very very unethical people out there who would do... cruel and unethical things to vulnerable soft creatures like you in a heartbeat. [Clare fawns all over Mags] Fio: [twitches] I'd sooner... [twitches]
Sorry, I think this is the wrong place for this . . . I thought it was like a chatroom where many people's characters were wandering about seeking to chat with readers . . . But it seems like I've fallen down the rabbit hole and woken up in someone else's script . . . Dunno' know how I got here but . . . I tried to delete it but see no provision . . . Admins, if you can help by deleting it then would you kindly please HEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPP? ... Sorry again . . .
Sapphire: I am quite curious about this fudge, but I must ask—what is peanut butter? Nina: And Guatemala—tell me about that. If they speak Spanish there—is it a region in Spain, perhaps?
Nah, you're actually in the right place. People chat as their characters here, sometimes they have their characters chat with each other without engaging the other members' characters, sometimes they just mumble. Honestly, I find this whole section rather weird, but some people like it, so I'll leave your posts where they are. If you don't want to post in this thread anymore, just wander off, you won't be the first (I did )
Princess: Ooh! Ooh! I think someone addressed me by asking a question about Guatemala to someone else. Nina, oy! Over here! [Waving] Sorry if I'm wrong and just bargin' . . . Guatemala is the next country after Mexico, if you walk south from Texas (does anyone?) We Guatemalans say Mexico is the thing you have to go through tryin' to get to America. Can't say a word abou' peanut butter: just think abou' i' and me gob sticks shut.
Truman: Texas! The new capital of the Unified State of America. Gohd bless Texas! * holds up whiskey glass * They prevented The Second Civil War by offering to host the new government after DC was obliterated. The rest of the old States swung with Texas, and Mexico and California backed down. Close call. Guatemala joined the rest of South America to become Union del Sud. Saved a lot of lives...
Nina: No, I am from Laenia. It is a kingdom of England, and though it is not where I am originally from, Asiri and I have resided there for many years. Asiri: You speak a lot of this America—where is that in relation to Europe?
Ann: America is to the west of Europe, across the ocean. Maybe... a couple of days on a boat? And peanut butter is the greatest thing ever! I can't describe it, you just have to taste! *Holds out fudge*
(Nina and Asiri both stiffen) Nina: West? Asiri: That is…no, it cannot be. We were on the boat much longer than a couple of days. (They switch to Quechua, continuing to talk to each other. Meanwhile…) Kirika: Alright, then…(she takes the fudge, breaking it in half and handing half to Sapphire) It certainly looks interesting. (they both take a bite) Sapphire: Oh, my word. (swallows) That is unbelievably sweet. How much sugar is in this? Kirika: I never thought I would taste something sweeter than mitarashi, but…here we are. How in the world can you make something this sweet? (Nina and Asiri finish their discussion) Nina: Correct me if I am wrong, but within this America, is there a land they call Argentina?
Ann: 2 cups sugar, one half cup milk, and one cup of peanut butter. Delicious. *A man walks in with sleek, shoulder length black hair, torn up clothes, and marble eyes. Lumis slips away.* Shade: That's surprising, considering you can't cook. Ann: Shade, that's mean! I've been trying very hard... Shade: And I can appreciate that. It doesn't change the fact that you suck. Ann: Come on, be nicer! Praise me for working so hard! Shade: Okay, you've done well to not poison everyone who eats your food. Ann: *Screams*
Sapphire: Well, that is rather harsh. Aside from being at least ten times sweeter than anything else I have ever tried, this ‘fudge’ is perfectly fine. Asiri: In America, is there a land they call Argentina?
Clare: A slow acting poison that inflicts a lifetime of pain and suffering... The honeyed blood sickness. [Mags pauses for a bit wondering what Clare is mumbling to herself but she continues to gobble the fudge anyway] Oh. Don't worry about this one. She's got a helluva me-meta...metabolism, or so Doc says. Speaking of honeyed blood sickness inducing delicacies, here's the Fruit Bar. [~Clare's Cookbook~] Clare: My awesome assistant is busy at the moment so here's the stand-in. Come on, don't be shy. Come, come. I won't poison you or anything. Fio: Shut up! I-I'm Fio! Why am I kneeling? I can't see the ingredients! Clare: Oh, no no no. Mug-mugs, my awesome assistant is about that high and I don't wanna break the viewer's immersion. Fio: Get on with it! My knees hurt! Clare: Here's a standard fruit bar ration. A dense one pound bar of dried fruit and nuts petrified in muscovado worth three thousand calories. Fio: Who needs a three thousand calorie snack!? What the heck is a calorie!? Clare: Oh, no no no. This holy item is of little to no use to you townsfolk type who's only concern is your next meal. Out there in the frontiers we do not have the convenience of a cafeteria. Out there where everything is out to make a snack out of you, every single pound counts. Fio: What does that have anything to do with- Clare: Carry weight, my short assistant. This thing is worth up to five meals for one pound. Fio: Oh. That's sounds... pretty handy! So how do you make one? Not that I'm gonna make it for you or... something. Clare: You buy it from the cafeteria. Next up-- Fio: What!? I thought this is a cooking show- Clare: Blued Mango Pie Fio: Wait! Tell me how- Mags: Mango? MANGO!? [Mags rears up from her sugar induced stupor after hearing the magic word.]
Truman: Hey, Clare-Clare! This place 'isolates' intrusive plot structures, but it doesn't eliminate or quash them. What does your 'empire' over here look like now? Heh heh.
Clare: "The way through a man's heart is through his stomach" Or so Granny says. Mags: (Clare-Clare! Its the... Ghost Gramps!) Clare: (Shh... Get in my bag.) We achieved the first requirement of the Conqueror's Doctrine but we figured we can't take on the grown-ups and their fancy tech so we're slowly building stuff in secret while nobody's around, maybe recruit some passing strangers to our cause with our legit front. Fio: Hah-hah. Please don't believe everything she says! (Clare!) Clare: Or is that a challenge? Fio: (Oi!) Clare: No matter. Here's a Fruit Bar I made while Fio isn't gawking. Fio: Come on! Teach me how to make em'! Clare: Its not a bribe to let us expand our borders or anything.
Ann: You're the absolute worst! Shade: But I'm one thousand times better than you. Ann: At least I don't wear torn up old hobo-clothes! Shade: Hey, there's nothing wrong with them! I haven't had to buy new ones in years. Ann: ... There's something wrong with you. I mean, seriously, seriously wrong. We're going shopping later; you need new clothes. Anyway, did those kids say something about a ghost? Shade: Why are you even asking? You know no one else can hear half of the things that you can. Ann: First off, you know that ghosts aren't real, right? Lumis said so, and she knows all about that supernatural stuff. Second, the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach; if that were true, than I'd have at least a dozen dates by now. Shade: Maybe if they weren't still in the hospital, than sure.
