Character Development Clinic

Discussion in 'Word games' started by Mallory, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. Manav

    Manav New Member

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    I kinna figured out DI because you mentioned policeman, but DC:confused:. Thought may be some kinna British slang for sluts lol

    So, is the DC male or female?
     
  2. Corbyn

    Corbyn Lost in my own head Supporter Contributor

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    Questions:

    1. What has drawn you to the human girl who was abducted? Since she clearly doesn't want to trust or share with you?

    2. What are your plans now that you've found this "half way house"?
     
  3. SeverinR

    SeverinR New Member

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    The frustration of thinking your parents are dead when they aren't is bad, but the memories, nightmares, and helplessness of being buried in the box was terrifying and then to have the mental attacks that I did not know how to defend against was probably the worst. Then life was never the same afterwards, anytime I was around a thinking person, the constant ringing or humming in my head, the fear of someone attacking me if I was alone was another fear.

    No problem, I did notice no one was posting then a wave of people posted all at once.

    My instructor and friends have shown me this mind thing is not a curse, the humming or ringing when around other people, the headaches, the fear of the abilities have changed into a blessing. The Academy has changed my perspective on this gift that I have.
     
  4. NateSean

    NateSean Senior Member

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    Name: Shaun Gardener

    Age - 43. Because of his slow aging process he can pass for sixteen or seventeen for another twenty years or so.

    Species - Vampire.

    Occupation: Part-time cashier and electronics associate for Meg-A-Mart Superstore.

    Likes: 70's and 80's rock. Books and movies. Smurfs, Snorks, HR Puffinstuff and Land of the Lost. Like most vampires, Shaun prefers cold weather. The colder the better. Soft, earth tones verses extremely bright colors.

    Dislikes: Warm weather. Heat. Heavy clothes and bedding. Bright lights. Strobe lights are a definite no, no. Pungent odors. People who are jerks.

    Strengths: Heightened sense of hearing and smell. Strong bone structure, quick healing (not instantaneous like in the movies, but still noticably faster, depending on the injury) can achieve impressive land speeds and leap up to five feet into the air.

    Weaknesses: Sensitivity to bright light. Exposure to sunlight is deadly without copious amounts of sunscreen. Bladder weakness. Certain foods can lead to problematic and embarassing situations after the metamorphosis (vampric puberty). Night vision only occurs when the Shaun is hunting or in fear of his life.

    Relatives: Biological father, Agean Gardener, deceased. Murdered. A staff sergeant, known as Patrick Curtis, living and working in Fort Bragg at the time of death.

    Biological mother, Julia Gardener, deceased. Died of natural causes associated with giving birth to a vampire.

    Stepmother, Trisha Sanderz, deceased. Murdered.

    Stepbrother, Rory Sanderz, deceased. Murdered.

    Paternal Uncle, Theodore Andriscus. Alive.

    Cousin: Paul Andriscus Gallagher. Alive.

    Foster parents: Mike and Caroll Hansen.

    Friends: Kenneth Bragdon and Ashwin Taberleigh.

    Coworkers: Walter Saberhagen, Mark Ritter.
     
  5. FictionAddict

    FictionAddict New Member

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    Hey, NateSean.

    What's the problem your facing with this character? He seems pretty developed to me. I don't know what to ask him. You already know what he likes, his strengths and weaknesses... If you explain what are you struggling with, it will be easier for us to post helpful questions. ;)
     
  6. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    This can't be emphasized enough. :)
     
  7. NateSean

    NateSean Senior Member

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    I figure someone who is heavily into the vampire genre might be able to help me focus on keeping the vampires in my stories from becoming another Anne Rice/Twilight hybrid.
     
  8. SeverinR

    SeverinR New Member

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    I like the bladder weakness. Having the prostate as a double check for bladder leaks it would be interesting to why he has this. Not saying teenagers as he appears can have this, but it is less common.

    Does he work the nightshift?

    Does he drink blood?

    Does it have to be human?

    What is his story?(is there a love interest, conflicting vampires, trying to live among humans without revealing this secret?)

    Repusion to holy symbols?

    I assume vampires are mortal, just live longer? Since his father was murdered. Does it take a stake in the heart?

    Mostly focusing on the logistics and life of a vampire since I don't know what the story is about.
     
  9. SeverinR

    SeverinR New Member

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    No sparkly vampires with an endless life of a teenager.

    Twilight deviates from traditional vampire in many ways so going more traditional will fix that problem.

    From the post, I would say you deviate enough from traditional to avoid basic vampire cliche.
     
  10. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    Also, is he ugly-looking, or does he have an ugly form he morphs into at night? Traditionally, vampires look like hideous monsters, not like pale-yet-suave men or smooth-skinned, marbley teenagers. "Dracula" swerved vampires into the pale-skin, dark red lips, slicked hair, sexy aside from the bloody fangs look. Prior to "dracula," vampires were pretty gross. Do some research on that. :)

    Here's a question - what if, somehow, a female human was attracted to your MC? I realize you aren't going the stupid Edward route, but what if your MC could take on an attractive form or something, and a woman fell in love with him or wanted to sleep with him? What would he do and/or say?
     
  11. NateSean

    NateSean Senior Member

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    The bladder weakness is more or less because the vampire's body is designed to get nourishment and rehydration strictly from blood. Vampires sweat more than humans, which is how the body gets rid of excess water without the need to urinate. So the bladder muscle essentially weakens over time if it isn't maintained.

    Same with the digestive system, as blood and the vitamins the body gets from it go towards cell regeneration and maintaining the body's abilities like their speed. This eliminates the need for a system to get rid of solid waste.

    So most vampires stick with blood given the choice and only drink or eat human food when it's being offered and it wouldn't be prudent to refuse. (Refusing a drink offered by royalty comes to mind as such a time.)

    The basic summary of the story is this. (And yes, I do have a rough draft written down that I am working on editing)

    Shaun is trying to do his part for the overall community, human and vampire, by trying to help humans acclimatize to the idea that vampires have actually been living among them since the dawn of time.

    The idea is to work with certain foster families who are hand picked by the vampire's human allies. And after a certain amount of time, vampires can decide whether or not these humans can be brought into the fold so to speak with the goal of eventually being able to live out in the open.

    Shaun takes a part-time job, but is limited to the hours and jobs available to a typical human teenager. Since the only place he can work is a big box corporate chain, owned and run by a family of vampires, this causes a bit of conflict with his cousin and a number of vampires who own and run their own stores and feel like he has betrayed them by working for a Wal*Mart-like corporation.


    Blood is a main staple of the vampire's diet. Animal or human will do. However, human blood contains an aging cell that the vampire's body can't break down and this causes the vampire to temporarly stop aging. He'll still die at some point, but if he drinks human blood, it'd be a little like having plastic surgery that takes a long time to fade away.

    Definitely a no.

    Basically a thousand years is the minimal life expectancy. A stake in the heart is the traditional method, but for the most part vampire's really aren't immune to anything. If anything, they have some very crippling weaknesses that make them even more vulnerable and have at one point or another, contributed to the lore surrounding them.

    [quote
    Mostly focusing on the logistics and life of a vampire since I don't know what the story is about.[/QUOTE]

    Appreciate the help. ;)


    That's probably one cliche I'm sticking with. Aside from palor and fangs, vampires are largely human. But not all of them are GQ models. Shaun works out regularly as per his basically being an army brat, but he can lose muscle tone. But there are also overweight vampires, vampires with birth defects, disabilities and other disorders that humans can get.

    But it's because at least one of their parents is always human. Two vampire can have intercourse but they can't reproduce. It has to be a human, or in some cases, a werebeast. (Yes, weres exist in the universe I'm creating. But I have a strong feeling their origin story is going to trump the traditional ones.)

    If he met a woman that he was attracted to and the subject of sex came up then he would be morally, if not legally obligated to explain a few things. 1: If they have sex, she will most definitely get pregnant with his child. 2: Giving birth to a vampire will definitely her.

    He couldn't make her immortal or "turn her". And somewhere down the line if he wanted another child it would be with another woman.

    Anyhow, thank you for humoring me on this one guys. ;) I appreciate the help.
     
  12. spklvr

    spklvr Contributor Contributor

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    As it seems like NateSean is good, I'll put up my character :)

    My character's name is Cain, he is about 18 years old.

    He is found by a middle-aged wizard (named Jado) in the forest, and is taken to his house. When he wakes up, all he knows is that it's not his room he wakes up in, and that he has never been in that town before. Other than that he doesn't remember anything. Jado is the one who tells him his name.

    Jado lets him stay if Cain does the housework. It becomes clear to them that Cain also knows magic, and Jado teaches him. They live in a small fisherman's village that has no other wizards or witches. It's peaceful and though Cain occasionally tries to figure out where he came from, he doesn't have a strong desire to find out, which confuses him. After living there for a few months, Jado has to go to a large city with a package for another wizard, and brings Cain with him.

    My problem so far is that Cain is a bit unlikable. I wanted him to be kind of arrogant and rude, but it got too far at some point. Also I'm stuck on the story right now, and the last time I asked about a character, I got so many great questions that really inspired me (and I might actually put up the answers this time. I forgot the last time...)

    I'm also having some trouble explaining the reasons for his personality as I know his past, but it won't be revealed until the end. He'll grow a lot with the story of course, but still...
     
  13. NateSean

    NateSean Senior Member

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    Does he actually suffer from amnesia? Or is he sort of wandering the forest with his posessions in a sack dangling from a stick? Maybe instead of having him not remember anything, you could work it so that he's running away from his past and his surly attitude is a defensive mechanism.

    Maybe he blames himself for something he didn't do. Alternatively maybe he did do something horrible, like kill someone with his magic because he didn't know what he was doing.

    That could be how Jado and the village discovers his magical talent. By complete and quite unwelcome accident.

    Just a few thoughts.
     
  14. FictionAddict

    FictionAddict New Member

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    Questions for Cain:

    1. Are you aware you’re rude and arrogant? If so, why do you think you act like that? Is there something or someone that would make you reconsider your attitude, make you think twice before snapping retorts or making snarky comments?
    2. How do people in general react at your attitude? Do you think they have a reason to react like that?
    3. How do you feel towards Jado? I’m guessing he gave a reason to have helped you, but do you believe him? If yes, why? If not, why?
    4. Would you like to live among more wizards? How do you feel living in such a small town?
    5. How would you feel if you discovered Jado is hiding something from you? If you discovered Jado knew about your past all along and didn’t tell you, would you corner him to share the info? How would this affect your relationship?
    6. How do you feel having to do housework? Don’t you think you’re better than that?
    7. Do you think you owe Jado something for him having recued you and took you into his household?
    8. How do you feel about being a wizard? Would you like to be different?
     
  15. SeverinR

    SeverinR New Member

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    Arrogant and rude, but goes to far? What would a normal person do if they feel they went to far. I bet it fits in the story but you don't want it. I would simply have the MC appologize for going to far and show that he can be reasonable to a point.

    When keeping a secret, I find that I must know all of the details before I can feed the hints or clues out.

    Is Cain social, does he have friends in town?

    Is Jado territorial, and keeps other wizards/witches away?

    Are Jado and Cain friends or more servant master relationship?

    Does Cain wonder if Jado used magic to wipe his mind?

    Do they fish for food or recreation?
     
  16. spklvr

    spklvr Contributor Contributor

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    Questions by NateSean

    Does he actually suffer from amnesia? Or is he sort of wandering the forest with his possessions in a sack dangling from a stick? Maybe instead of having him not remember anything, you could work it so that he's running away from his past and his surly attitude is a defensive mechanism.

    - He is found by Jado in the forest. The first thing he remembers is waking up in Jado's attic. His attitude is a defense mechanism, but he doesn't remember why he doesn't like people getting close to him. And it will turn out that he was the one who wiped his own mind, in order to escape his past.

    Maybe he blames himself for something he didn't do. Alternatively maybe he did do something horrible, like kill someone with his magic because he didn't know what he was doing.

    - Oh, it's much worse than that. The poor soul. He managed to escape earlier, but being unable to get over it, and feeling worse because he considers himself weak who can't get over it, he decides to do something quite drastic.

    That could be how Jado and the village discovers his magical talent. By complete and quite unwelcome accident.

    - Magic is quite common in this world, and everyone knows about it. In the small villages people are more simple, and while they don't mind wizards like Jado, they are still a bit wary of magic.


    Questions by FictionAddict

    Are you aware you’re rude and arrogant? If so, why do you think you act like that? Is there something or someone that would make you reconsider your attitude, make you think twice before snapping retorts or making snarky comments?

    - I am aware of it, although I consider it being honest rather than arrogant. The only one I think twice about making angry is Jado, as he can make me homeless. I'm also grateful to him for helping me, even though I don't feel like showing it. And then there is the whole, he's a jackass issue.

    How do people in general react at your attitude? Do you think they have a reason to react like that?

    - I'm not a big people person. They are either too stupid to notice I'm being sarcastic and condescending, or they don't really talk to me. I like that they avoid me. That's the reason why I don't act personable.

    How do you feel towards Jado? I’m guessing he gave a reason to have helped you, but do you believe him? If yes, why? If not, why?

    - He said the reason for helping me was kindness, but really, I'm sure he just wanted a slave. I'm sometimes suspicious of Jado. He's secretive about several things around the house and about himself. Regardless of that, I don't feel like any of his issues have to do with me, so I leave it alone.

    Would you like to live among more wizards? How do you feel living in such a small town?

    - In the beginning it was nice to live in such a calm place and just focus on learning, but I've been getting restless recently. I'd love to learn from other wizards, but it seems a lot of them are arrogant asses. Ironic.

    How would you feel if you discovered Jado is hiding something from you? If you discovered Jado knew about your past all along and didn’t tell you, would you corner him to share the info? How would this affect your relationship?

    - Depending on what he's hiding. If the secret has nothing to do with me, I'm fine with him hiding it. He has no obligation to tell me anything. If it's about me... he's been trying much harder than me to figure out who I am. All this time I've felt like I don't really want to know, so I've told him not to tell me if he discovers something. Still, I'd get mad if I found out he knew from the start.

    How do you feel having to do housework? Don’t you think you’re better than that?

    - I AM better than that, but I have my pride. I'm not gonna mooch on some old man, and at least he also teaches me magic in return. My other option would be becoming a fisherman... no thank you.

    Do you think you owe Jado something for him having rescued you and took you into his household?

    - I think I've repaid him long ago in cooking alone, but what can I do? I don't have anywhere else to go.

    How do you feel about being a wizard? Would you like to be different?

    - And be like all those other losers? I'm happy being a wizard, thank you,


    Questions by SeverinR

    Arrogant and rude, but goes to far? What would a normal person do if they feel they went to far. I bet it fits in the story but you don't want it. I would simply have the MC apologize for going to far and show that he can be reasonable to a point.

    - No, it's more I feel I went too far in making him unlikable. When dealing with people he tries to stay somewhat polite, though he is definitely condescending. It's his thoughts that show how unlikable he is.

    When keeping a secret, I find that I must know all of the details before I can feed the hints or clues out.

    Is Cain social, does he have friends in town?

    - Jado is pretty much the only one who cares, though Cain also spends some time with a fisherman that used to help Jado before Cain arrived.

    Is Jado territorial, and keeps other wizards/witches away?

    - He's more a loner than territorial. He still keeps in touch with other wizards and witches, but enjoys the peace in the village.

    Are Jado and Cain friends or more servant master relationship?

    - Somewhere in the middle of that, if that makes sense.

    Does Cain wonder if Jado used magic to wipe his mind?

    - The thought has crossed his mind, but he can't figure out why he would do such a thing. Because of that he's a bit hesitant about snooping.

    Do they fish for food or recreation?

    - Jado fish for recreation, but buys fish for food. Cain doesn't care for live fish.
     
  17. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    Hi,
    I'll go ahead and post my own character for a little help.

    My MC's name is Crimson Clark (it's a WIP name, will probably change it later in the final draft) and she's a tech school student, around age 20, in a dystopic future setting that's a mix between V for Vendetta and Nazi Germany. She finds out her friend's dad was involved in a small-scale secret peaceful resistance group that's similar to the White Rose resistance of the Nazi area. Her friend's dad got quietly hauled off in the middle of the night when no one was there to see it, and Crimson and her two friends (the friend whose dad got caught plus one other) decide to pick it up where the one guy's dad left off. These people aren't really her close friends, they're actually just friends because they're in a study group together, but this makes them become close friends. They grow the resistance group to something more powerful than it was originally, with the help of others. Later, they get caught and put in a concentration camp, but they escape (it's an organized effort and lots of others escape too, but my MC is one of the key players). They're constantly homeless and on the run, but then someone steals a small and damaged, but repairable, supply ship and they take to the seas (this takes place in dystopic Florida). The ship is of the small variety and there's more people on it then just the three original protags. So yeah, there's a rough but still hopeful ending.

    I'm treating April as a Nanowrimo, in other words trying to have 50K done by the end of the month, and now I'm at around 10K. It's moving along quite nicely and isn't bogged down by plot holes, which is really nice because normally plot confusion trips me up, but I'm worried it's coming across as too rushed and my characters are way, way too flat. I need help finding some flaws of some kind.
     
  18. Taylee91

    Taylee91 Carpe Diem Contributor

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    For Crimson:

    1. Have you always held common views with the resistance group? What do you hope to gain/prove in picking it up?

    2. Do all of your friends support it or are there are few who are fifty-fifty about it?

    3. Do your parents know you are part of this group?
     
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  19. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    !

    Thanks!
     
  20. ProwerGirl

    ProwerGirl New Member

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    Do they have any romances or crushes?

    Why is there a study group in a dystopia?

    Do any of the characters, after being homeless and all, want to join the opposite group?

    Here's mine:
    Sebastian, the king's neice's son, is born with a tumor tat reacts when he's angry. At the age of nine, he's sent to former councillor Nikoshei to control his anger. He leaves at the age of eighteen and joins at a pirate crew. Him and the captain don't get along very well, and Sebastian has two scars to show for that. His father battles him and leaves a scar on his forehead. A little after that, he leaves the crew to discover his master dead. He goes on a journey to find his master's son to give him his inheritance. He meets a young orphaned girl and her mentally handicapped sister along the way, and grows attached to them. When he returns home, he finds that his father has died and he is a step closer to the throne, which he is uneasy about. Opinions welcome ^^
     
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  21. Yandos

    Yandos New Member

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    Questions for Crimson:

    1. It seems your involvement in this resistance group happened quite quickly, have you left anything behind that you wished you could have taken with you?
    2. Will your disappearance into the resistance group have consequences for others outside of it?
    3. You said you were a tech student. What areas are your strengths and what are your weaknesses?
    4. How have you coped during the harder times when working in the resistance?

    I'll come back later for questions for Sebastian, however some more information would be helpful.
     
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  22. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Contributor Contributor

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    Ok, this is the MC for a couple of experiments in fiction I'll be doing. He's basically a fictionalized version of my (past) self, like Nick Adams or Henry Chinaski. A way for me to write about some of the things I've been through in a way that's only semi-autobiographical. I have one first draft of a story posted here, and reviews have made it clear that I need to spend some time on character development before going back to revise it. Scott isn't exactly me, so I have to figure out who he is. So, here we go:

    Name: Scott Munro
    Age: 29
    Occupation: Bartender
    Primary Motivation/Goal: Sex. At the point in time when these stories take place, Scott is obsessed with sex. He is hedonistic. In the story in question, Scott is trying to restrain himself from cheating on his girlfriend with a young girl who is in love with him, and who he finds highly desirable. A second, less evident goal, will be security. Scott is unhappy with his lifestyle and knows that he has to make a change. Security is a goal that he has almost given up on, which is why he is so obsessed with sex. In the story in question, he is struggling to maintain a sense of personal integrity in the face of sexual desire, and is torn between what he desires in the moment vs. what he desires ultimately. (Haha -- not exactly simple, I know.)
    Major Obstacles/Setbacks: A sense of guilt and responsibility. Poverty. Alcohol and drugs. Laziness. Inner demons. Conflicting desires.

    So the part I'm having trouble with, is what to do with the sense of ambivalence. It's become clear from reviews and responses to this thread that I need to establish a clearer sense of consistent ambivalence in this character.
     
  23. Sidewinder

    Sidewinder Contributor Contributor

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    Crimson:

    What would a perfect world look like, without an oppressive government and concentration camps?

    What does freedom mean to you?

    You're one of the key players in forming a political resistance -- what was it that made you so indispensable?

    How do you feel about the guys who hauled your dad off in the middle of the night? What kind of people are they, and why do you think that they did that?
     
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  24. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    Answers to ProwerGirl's Questions:

    1. Any romances or crushes -- One of the girls (not Crimson) and one of the guys in the group are together. This is actually a good point, because my MC and the guy character are the two MCs introduced at the beginning and I don't want readers to think "ew, cheesy, this whole thing is a predictable romance." After writing the story, when editing, I'll go back and make sure that it's made clear that Crimson and Mitch are NOT interested in each other, just friends. I will probably give Crimson a romance later but not with Mitch - that would be too predictable and I don't want the whole story to be classified as romance (although there's nothing wrong with romance, just not what I"m going for here.

    2. Why is there a study group in a dystopia -- A dystopia just means that the story takes place in a future setting gone bad. Classes can still exist and therefore so can study groups. :)

    3. Does anyone want to go to the other side -- Mitch's mom is a traitor and I think I'll make someone else in the study group a traitor too. Good idea. Thanks - this actually is giving me ideas. :)

    -------------------------------------

    I'll answer the others really soon. I deeply appreciate all the questions and will be giving you guys rep points -- I'll return later to answer them and ask new ones for newly posted MCs. Soooo busy right now though! ;(
     
  25. Mallory

    Mallory Contributor Contributor

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    Yay, I get to answer more of my questions now! Sorry to take so long; I've been busy with article deadlines and political stuff. Anyways, here goes. I'll post some questions for Sebastiain, too.

    Questions for Sebastian:

    1. Have you ever experiences problems or insecurities as a result of your tumor? If so, what happened, and how did it affect you?

    2. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your father, what would it be? And don't say you'd want to get along better; give a specific habit/conflict, or a significant incident/memory.

    More info will help me more with this...

    Questions for Scott/Sidewinder:

    1. What would you do if you got one of your flings from a while back pregnant, and you just learned she was about to have the baby and expected you to help out as a dad? (assume there's proof the kid is biologically yours)

    2. What would you do if your girlfriend broke up with you?

    3. There's a free, proven-to-work medication that will permanently free you from all of your substance addictions and will also serve as a cure to your anxiety/depression/etc. The only setback: it will ruin your sex drive forever. Do you take the cure?

    Sidewinder, will answer your questions for my MC soon. Thanks again! :)
     

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