She wasn't a pain when we got married... (c: Maybe too young, maybe too much of an age gap... she was 22 I was 30. She is one of the sharpest cookies on the block so never felt like that. She went into corporate law and just became ubelievably bossy and dissatisfied - not just with me but I bore the brunt. I would get up, get no.1 son ready and on the bus to school at 07.45, get myself into London, do a longish day, get home, pick the boy up from his grandmother who had fed him, do homework, story, bed. She would get back after a completion meeting at 11.00 pm, go over the whole day, what everyone else had done to keep the family running, and complain because a badge hadn't been sown on his scout uniform or something. She had the gimlet eye of a corporate lawyer who can flash read a 400 page legal document and spot an error on page 256...
My dad told a joke a long time a go: "A son walks up to his father and says,'Dad, is it true that in some countries you don't even know your wife before you're married?' The father puts down his newspaper, gives the boy a weary look, and says, 'Son, that's true in every country.'"
Wow I am already at loss at how you kept up with it. She sounds a bit too much the way you describe her and I do feel sorry for the kid. I mean how long did you last before you decided it was not for you?
Thanks @katina - she was/is a bit much. Beautiful, personable, but a nightmare. I managed seven years of marriage but made a conscious decision to abort before the relationship deteriorated to the point where it was toxic and we hated each other, which has been a huge bonus. Despite everything we were able to discuss parenting issues and show a united front. We functioned much better as a family when we weren't a family. Funny old world. The kid has come out ok. He has turned into a young man to be proud of, is just about to finish his Masters, has had much sporting success. Hasn't always been easy, but has always been worth the effort.
I know what it is to end a relationship and so all hat to you for going for it. I ended my first marriage which was a disaster from the word go. I did not see it at first being naive and new to the scene of relationships and what it entails. It took me that long to before I called it a day. It was the best thing I have ever done and will do it again without a shadow of a doubt. It takes self belief and courage and so I understand you perfectly. The world is funny yes but funnier when you do the right thing because you never look back. :
This is supposed to be a happy thread about christmas giving and receiving gifts, but - yeah - give you right. Life is FAR to short to waste time in an unhappy relationship. Any relationship will have unhappy bits, but there is a difference between that and an unhappy relationship. All hat (new one on me) to ending yours too, and even more hat for finding a better one. Self belief and self reliance are, as you say, massively important. Something we should perhaps focus more on in our children... For a beer-swilling rugger-bugger, I am quite sensitive to this sort of thing. I spot the subleties. I wish I could focus it into my writing... (c:
You know what Hammer life celebrates courage devotion and even more so understanding and YES children are always at the full front of any adult failure or success. So let's drink to that and write positive thinking into plots that solve matters such as these because that is one reader short of it.
