How do I write a book of the century?

Surely such a book wouldn't be constrained by the rules of grammar, and it would have an unheard of meaning..? What would it take? I feel like it's the only one I'm qualified to write.

 

Can you clarify what you mean by "book of the century?"

 

Not a book, but the book?

 

Meaning, the next best seller?

 

Not just a best seller, but a best of the best seller.

 

There's no real answer to that question (and no single approach that could work, or any approach guaranteed to work). Discarding the rules of grammar will probably lessen your chances, however.

 

You will need the letters a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z, the numbers 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, the punctuation marks ,,.,;,:,-,–,—,?,!,',", a pencil (not too sharp), and some paper.

Go for it.

 

But I write on the computer. I've never liked paper and pencil, it feels outdated, and my handwriting is horrible anyways.

 

I'm *sniff* outdated?

 

Fountain pens FTW.

 

I must say i agree with that, but my fountain pen hates me right now, (it's just inked all over my hand FFS)

But in regards to the book of the century, its a case of a good idea with great execution in the right place at the right time

 

You won't. The "book of the century" does not, nor will it ever exist.

 

I had one cheap one I got off Amazon that leaked all over the place. The others that I have are holding up thus far!

 

ouch, this is one that was bought for me as a gift (it was a part of a set that i later found out was £45,) it doesnt leak that often but when it does, it does...

 

If you're qualified to write a book of the century, why aren't you the one telling us how to do it, instead of asking us? If we knew, we'd all be busy writing books of the century, wouldn't we?

 

Yeah, for that price it shouldn't leak. Have you found the ink makes a difference? I noticed one of my Waterman pens works great with Waterman ink, but when I use ink I have for another pen, it tends to leak.

BTW I don't generally recommend cheap fountain pens, but I've had this Pilot pen for about a year and it has been excellent. Nice fine point:



I bought this ink for it:

 

ooh nice... I use the proper ink for mine (in cartridges, i'd get in more of a mess trying to use bottled like that) i think it's just where it's sat for some time unused.

(PS, its This pen that i use)

 

Nice one. I haven't used Sheaffer, but I've heard they're reliable.

 

I've had mine for about six years i believe, and the rare minor leakage is the only issue i've had with it, but other than that, it's a great pen (the Ballpoint version's decent too, though I don't use that so often)

 

I pen drafts into crappy notebooks with a gold-nibbed (thanks @Muse) 1980s quink-filled 1920s bakelite Parker and copy them to Mac. I proceed to pretentiously sign and bury/hide said drafts in the foundations or walls of new-builds and renovations (brother's a builder (so such places are exposed to me frequently)). < This fanfaronade/ceremony don't make my stuff century busting 'gud'—aware of limits, I'm just motivated by this quirk, enforcing longevity, to try harder.

Also, also, back to topic—for a book to be Book of the Century, wouldn't we need to wait till the year 2099 and a good few days after? You know, to get all the entries in—so allowing fair play in the form the century actually running its full course. Only then I'd say votes could be cast or some great and approved arbiter employed. Not withstanding 3 new heads and 4 sets of love-handles will I be around to see it. Alas.

Out of curiosity what was last century's great book? @Anyone — I guessed at Gatsby but Mockingbird appears to trump it. Hmmm.

 

You are going to write an overly wordy crossover fanfic of 50 Shades and Harry Potter, with magical wooden puppets into BDSM (AKA abusive sexual sadism contractual relationships)? Well good luck with that.

And Anna got splinters from Harry's wooden wand....O_O

 

"You're a kinky bastard Harry."

 

Sorry, it's already been written.

 

Fuckin' A man, Fuckin' A.