I admit that I've intentionally hurt people close to me. Hate myself for doing it, but I can't take it back. I also admit to breaking my best friends heart on her birthday. Damn...
If you'd like to discuss the connection, I'm free for dinner later this week. We could stop by my place after. I could make some coffee and show you my writing process, if that's something you're interested in.
"Welcome, American tourists. Would you like to try some loud Chinese tourists this evening? They make the best noisy dumplings you've ever eaten."
Yes, of course I'd be delighted. However, my fear remains how you might trap me in your cabin, my limbs severed by chainsaw, my skull laid on your special pillow for irrumatio [new word, thanks] induction. The clue lay in a previous post passed now to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police late yesterday evening; the force should be arriving at your door any moment, checkmate you horrid monster-killer deviant irrumatioist...
I am aghast! How could anyone possibly think of doing anything to damage anything so fuzzy. I'm not saying I'm against the idea of the trapping and anything else that might follow, but severe blood loss usually makes it hard for someone to give consent to that, so I tend to keep that to a minimum. I mean, if you really want to do the chainsaw thing we could give it a go, but I am not cleaning up after it.
One that's horrifying in retrospect: My sister and I did NOT want to go out today. Mom had called my sister to tell her that she had cucumbers that were harvested. We were annoyed at everything, had to withdraw cash from the ATM, because the card readers were down at the gas station. After I filled the car with gas, I went to walk past the car. I looked down at the pavement, and I saw what I thought was a dead infant mouse, inches from the tire! Once I saw that it was alive, I started breaking down. I couldn't bring myself to leave it, so I picked it up. After I left it with my sister to pay for the gas and get soda, we searched for a nest. I looked- and what do you know? I see a slightly bigger baby, equally blind and deaf, just poking its head out, like it's signaling: "Hey! Right here!" Discreetly, my sister laid it down beside it. We figured that that had been the best choice, since she had seen a mouse scurrying close earlier. Yes I washed my hands afterwards. And yes, I'm aware that I shouldn't have "saved" it, being the young of "vermin", but I don't have it within me to harm even a mouse. It was soft, like an infant. It was small, vulnerable. That was honestly the first time I've seen a newborn mouse personally. If we hadn't begrudgingly left the house today... the prospect of the little creature would have been grim. And this seems to be the second time my sister's tire was inches from a helpless creature. The first time was a turtle. :/
I can only hope so, too. And choose to trust that it's a "myth". I did research. Most of what I saw said "myth". I wasn't going to hover around, since mice can be frightened into abandoning their young. Something that wouldn't have been on me, considering that it was near the gas station. I still stand by my decision. We had no way of helping it ourselves, either way.
Heh... That's when I began my new life as the ATM mouse. Mouse-folk rejected me, I stank of gasoline, and reeked of bubblegum from this old lady who shoved me cruelly with those rats in the hedge. Nevertheless, after my ordeal with the rats, I recovered, and sought my own kind, and my mommy with her addiction to tires. PSI, she called it, always high at the 35 PSI was her mantra on the streets... Chapter 2
My cats and I have had meowing conversations with each other and I'm convinced we all completely understand each other.
Confession: I'm contemplating traveling an insane distance just to shop at....a certain store. Could buy some really weird stuff at this place for the holiday season.
I do this for food more than anything. Sometimes we drive for hours just for a certain type of food. Usually Indonesian.
I deleted a novel I was writing because I could not finish it. It was the best and most liberating decision I made for the progression of my writing. Zero remorse.
