1. TimHarris

    TimHarris Member

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    Cooperative exercise in dialogue writing

    Discussion in 'Dialogue Development' started by TimHarris, May 1, 2013.

    Let's see if we can develop a story together as a fun way of improving our dialogue writing.

    These are the rules:

    1) You pick one of the characters already present in the story, or you introduce a new. Let's try to keep the total number of characters to about 5 or 6, and only introduce more characters as replacements in case some should die or leave the scene.

    2) Some amount of narrative can be used for description and for complementing the dialogue, but the focus should be on the dialogue itself.

    3) Keep the characters consistent. If one poster describe the character as being afraid of mice, don't have him or her chase after a horde of them in the next scene. The same goes of any character descriptions.

    4) Top 3-4 lines of dialogue per post, and never from more than one character at a time. However, you don't have to stick to the same character if making multiple contributions to the story. Pick the one you feel should say something.

    If it becomes obvious that we need more rules, we can add them later. My first post will contain a lot more narrative than I intend we use for the remainder of the story. This is just to get us going. Alright, so let's get cracking.

    _________________

    THE SIEGE


    The sun set over the horizon to the thundering sound of the battering ram against the gates. The city had been besieged by King Royal's army for several days now, but it was apparent to everyone that the city would fall before daylight.
    King Hope looked across the siege lines from the top of the high tower where he sat in the light of a single candle writing letters to every Lord and Duke in the kingdom, pleading for immediate aid. From the ink stains on his robe it was obvious that the letters had been written with some haste.
    Just as he were sending the ravens away with the letters, praying some would make it past the enemy archers, General Morris entered the chambers dressed in his full plate armor and a long red cape. Sweat poured from his forehead, and he was clutching his shoulder where an arrow had grazed him.
    "My King," he said. Hope had never heard so much distress in his voice. "We cannot hold the gate any longer. We have reinforced it with iron and wooden logs, but I'm afraid the Royalians will be through before midnight. What should we do?"



    Edit: Adjusted the amount of spoken lines per post slightly. It should be easier to have good conversations this way.
     
  2. Mithrandir

    Mithrandir New Member

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    "Fight." The King smiled and stared at his scarred fist with bloodshot eyes. "Just let them through, and we'll spill a gallon of blood for every yard. Morris, we've gone too--" He coughed once. "We've gone too far to--" He doubled over his desk, coughing. The old fist came up stained red.
     
  3. Thomas Kitchen

    Thomas Kitchen Proofreader in the Making Contributor

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    "My king?" Morris took a step deeper into the room. "What is wrong? Are you sick?"
     
  4. TimHarris

    TimHarris Member

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    "I am fine," the king said slowly, wiping off the blood on his sleeves and coughing between the words. "I wont die from my disease just yet, and there are greater things to worry about here than my health. Will you get me that flagon of wine over there?" The king pointed over at a wooden table near the door. "And get me Wallace. The three of us needs to discuss the last resort, although I know you strongly objected last time the subject was up for discussion. And will you fetch the herbalist too?"
     
  5. JJ_Maxx

    JJ_Maxx Banned

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    Morris clenched his fists. "My liege..." he said, placing the wine in front of the king. "I know that Wallace seems justified in taking that step but you know how I feel. This last resort will become the last gasp of our great kindom. Everything we know will be destroyed and I will have no part in it." The king sipped his wine, staring at him in silence. Morris understood. "I shall fetch the herbalist." He placed his fist against his chest and bowed, leaving the King in silence.
     
  6. Garball

    Garball Banned Contributor

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    "Did you see that, Commander?" Elomar asked. "Their armor is like a robin's egg. My arrow should have should not have left but a scratch on the metal, and he walks away bleeding."
     
  7. Anthelionryu

    Anthelionryu New Member

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    Elomar, beware. You must see the healer immediately. The armor is cursed with a dark magic. Any damage it's wearer takes is transferred to he who inflicted the damage. Elomar, you're shoulder! It bleeds! Elomar! Someone get the healer. Now!
     
  8. TimHarris

    TimHarris Member

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    Elomar was dead before the Commander could reach the healing house, but it would not have mattered anyway. "All the herbs that might have repelled such magic were sent up to the kings chambers with the herbalist," the little old man said in a cracking voice, just as the Commander entered. "But if indeed you have such news of our enemy, you better go see him. I heard the general was there also, he would surely like to hear."
     

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