Could a shy, modest female share her HONEST thoughts to help me portray my blushing main character?

Be assured, after this post I shall.

Please refrain from making offensive and unfounded accusations. This is tantamount to saying "Stop pointing out something about me (that is true, but I don't want to hear it) because I'm from a minority ethnic group and you're being politically incorrect."

If you check, the majority of my other posts have given help.

You've had plenty of help and opinion, but you appear to have elected to ignore it.

 

Like @jannert said, this doesn't have to be the only scenario that would cause your character embarrassment. If she's really that shy and reserved then anything could embarrass her. You said she's a virgin but all her friends are not, but she's still at school so I'm guessing she's around 18/19? What if she was caught in the school library reading a book about sex? Maybe she's not even reading it, maybe she accidentally knocked it off a shelf and when she went to pick it up and put it back, someone saw her.

When you want your character to feel something, be it embarrassment, love, hate, whatever, you have to put them in different situations to see what fits both them and the story and unless you are writing fantasy, you can't always get away with the unbelievable scenarios as that would have your reader putting down the book and finding something else to read that will not make them laugh and say "as if!"

So rather than having one scenario and trying to find a story to fit (which it obviously doesn't in this case) look at all the different things that would embarrass your character and see which is the most likely and believable thing that would and could happen.

Good Luck x

 

You must write the first draft, plough on through the unbelievable sequence, and then polish in your drafting. Plenty of people enjoy the busty innocent naked lady doorstep encounter with check-shirted ex-marine major under bonnet scenario genre. I'm sure I've read a couple hereabouts.

Once you've scripted the cartoon version it becomes more sophisticated each time you revisit. I'd work on characterisation though because at present she appears faintly idiotic, almost glossily offensive.

'Oh dipsy me. I have dropped the towel. Rover Rover, come back, my towel. Look at me all dripping with my pert bottom.'

'Something I can help you with there, Ma'am?'

'Giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle.'

'Here, take this oily rag and cover yourself. Sure could do with a coffee.'

'I never drink coffee, Daddy says coffee is carcin...carcinogenic.'

'Does he now. Well, I ain't your Daddy. How 'bout we squeeze through that window and you brew me a Kenco.'

'Oh yes, yes, mister Cradlebait.' [swoon]

...

 

If there's a third thread about jiggling butt cheeks, I'm ascribing you as the next @that-person-who's-username-I-can't-remember-but-he/she-made-contentious-posts-that-raised-suspicion-of-an-agenda-of-tomfoolery. Osseon?

 

As usual, @matwoolf makes me laugh. And maybe that's the correct response to this thread in general. I also reckon there is a suggestion of 'tomfoolery' going on here.

 

Evidently, the cheeks jiggle with supreme vehemence, as if dying to be seen. I've never met such a pair.

 

Lauren, it's okay, and there's certainly nothing wrong with a comedic situation. I can see where your scenario would be funny, but it's also something of a cliché. There's nothing wrong with clichés, of course, but if you want to pull them off you have to make the telling as unique as possible, the writing as sharp as possible, and the events as sensible as possible within the parameters of the situation.

Clichés are part of the human experience, but you have to find a way to make them your own. If you can't come up with a way to do something, or you need to be walked through every step, then either your subject isn't right or you're not confident in your own abilities.

There's nothing wrong with lack of confidence (as every member here knows), but you have to get past the need to ask for help with an initial idea. Grit your teeth and write a first draft, then improve it from the ground up.

Matwoolf's idea was perfect. Get your first draft down without worrying about details, quality, or sense, then go back over it ruthlessly until the problems crop up and you become a better writer by fixing them. By the time your basics are down and you've flogged the hell out of what you wrote, then no one will accuse you of wanting something for nothing anymore, and they will probably be happy to help.

Good Luck.

 

That's a great idea @jannert! Maybe OP should take this scenario under consideration.
This thread has been quite fun to read, maybe OP should consider erotica/comedy.
If you want to go to more realistic direction I would suggest researching anorexia. i know it doesn't directly relate to this but you will learn about how young people can view their body.
Maybe nothing really has to happen? Could it be that fear of "being exposed" is so strong that it starts to take over her in life in un healthy fashion.

 

I like the idea that the fear of being exposed has become a problem, rather than actual exposure. Lots of us fear something that never happens, don't we? Good fodder, when it comes to feeding a story.

 

If I could Like this comment ten times, I would.

It seems, O Original Poster, that your object is to mortify your character as severely as possible and with the scenarios you suggest you're doing a bang-up job of it on your own. Just keep piling it on, everybody likes a bur-le-que.

But maybe you do have more ambitious goals in mind. If so, I, speaking as a female who even at my (ahem!) advanced age retains great respect for modesty, would absolutely veto the running-to-the-door-in-only-a-towel device. A girl like the one you posit would die first.

First of all, make the initial scenario more realistic. Let's say that she forgot the delivery was due that day and it's one she has to sign for. So when the doorbell rings, she feels she must answer. Or the package was due in the morning and she's given up on it and is taking her shower because she's getting ready to go somewhere that afternoon (a discreet, proper garden party, mayhap).

If she absolutely must expose herself in public, much more likely would be that she wraps a robe around herself, goes to the door, the delivery man is there and he's the guy she's had the crush on, and when she takes the pen/stylus thingy to sign her name the robe tie comes loose, the robe falls open, and there she is in all her full-frontal glory. That would lead to a more interesting plotline than would a mere authorial predecision to embarrass the poor girl.

If you have to embarrass her and ruin her reputation, make the delivery person a gossipy woman who knows her and spreads it around town that sweet little virginal Brenda is really a hot-to-trot tart who opens the door half-naked. And leave the newspaper out of it. She is on her own family property and they could probably get sued for "exposing" her more.

 

Chiming in again on this:

I can't get over the focus on lack of tan and the phrase "bubble butt." OP, I feel as if your social meter may be set in an environment where appearance and a tan are desperately, desperately important. As if you're assuming that people's response will be:

"Oh, my God, look how untanned that naked woman's skin is!"

instead of the far more likely:

"Oh, my God, that woman is naked!"

Similarly, you seem to be assuming that the neighbor's response will be:

"Giggle the girl next door is naked giggle white skin giggle bubble butt giggle giggle snork."

rather than the, again, far more likely,

"Oh, my God, the girl next door is naked. Has she had a breakdown? Has she been the victim of an attack? Should I call the police or some mental health facility or go out with a blanket, or...Oh, my God, what do I DO?!"

 

I would never go to the door in just a towel and I wouldn't describe myself as modest. A more feasible example might be being in a real hurry in pajamas (works well if it's hot and the character sleeps in quite skimpy clothes) and rushes outside to get clothes off the line and then gets locked out to find someone has taken all the clothes in. Based on how you've described the character I don't see her getting into that situation either.

You know the character better than anyone so you should know how she would react better than any of us.

 

Just remembered something weird. Several years ago, on a pleasant Sunday morning, around 11.30am, I was in a car traveling through a small town in the far north of Scotland ...and passed a middle aged woman, standing out at the kerb, putting something into her wheelie bin. She was wearing only a heavy-duty bra (white) and panty girdle (ditto.) It all happened so fast, I was only able to sputter ...but but but ...and the tableau was behind us. My friend, who was driving, said ...is she trying to cause an accident? And that was it. I have often wondered about that. What on earth...???

 

Where I live, girls pee right on the sidewalk in broad daylight(100% serious).

 

Hello,
I don't think I'm quite as shy as your character Brenda but regardless of that, anyone who falls out of their front door and locks themselves out naked would be absolutely mortified! I would advise taking a look at what you would do if you were in that situation and multiply the results but 10!

However, if it were me I think I would let out a horrified groan as I realise just how bad my situation is. I would be covering my bits as well as uselessly attempting to push at the front door in the unlikely hope it may just spring open. I wouldn't be able to believe my misfortune! My heart would be pounding and my brain racing as I try to think of any possible way to resolve the situation. I would have a look of distress permanently etched onto my face throughout this whole ordeal which would be difficult but funny in my attempt to restrain this look when I'm talking to the neighbour.

I think your strongest theme here is embarrassment continuously. To be caught naked by the neighbour, the popular girl from school and then your mum when you're already super shy is a lot to take on. I would probably want to go to my room and never leave it again!

It will be boring to repeat embarrassment happening 3 times. I think for it all to happen at once will have a better impact. For instance; the mum is coming down the path, sees her naked, the popular girl drives past and laughs at her and then in the commotion the neighbour peers over and quickly looks away shocked before Brenda grabs her mums keys and runs inside.

The speed of reaction is something that will then be what plays on the girls mind. 3 different reactions. - her mums disapproving, confused look, the popular girls bitchy laughing and the neighbours respectful look away even though maybe he was smiling? His smile could be what boosts her confidence from the situation. She could look in the mirror at herself naked and see what they saw and think about how he was smiling at her.

 

First, and like many before me have chimed, shy or not a woman does NOT go to the door in a towel...well, not unless she is looking to fuck whoever is behind that door. *Chime porn music* "Oh! Hello, Mr. Postman. You have such a big package with you!".

Next, I do know of an actual situation that happened to a shy woman that embarrassed her and could have embarrassed her more that is similar. I find it ridiculous, but this is what makes shy women shy. She went to go out sunbathing in her backyard but forget she hadn't changed into her bathing suit and was wearing her panties and bra instead. Could make it more embarrassing by people seeing her and joking her about it. Something this slight is much better for a shy woman, have her trotting around naked outside and she might drop out of school and become an agoraphobe.