Not that I get a vote, but thinking more about this, I would definitely lean toward insults rather than swear words. "Spineless bottom-feeder", that sort of thing.
@Cave Troll - Shitlord sounds hilarious. @badgerjelly - you sound like you've given this a lot of thought! All of those sound too vulgar for my taste though... @Jenissej - how are you still in archery? Did you get injured? @TirelessSeven - lol my MC is a guy actually. It just happens that I wrote him to be this really GOOD guy and my own writing leans towards the lyrical rather than the down-to-earth, so the two combined means I can't get too vulgar. Partly it's me as well - I don't honestly swear much. Like, I use swear words occasionally when I'm really angry, but more or less it's not in my vocab and I don't really hang out with people who would either. So I'm not so imaginative in this respect. @ChickenFreak - I'm open to it being an insult instead of a swear word. Right now I'm actually beginning to wonder if all this hassle is worth it and if I should just not have any insult or swearing at all. Here's the snippet leading up to the swearing, if context might help with thinking up a fitting insult. To give context, Will is the MC. Shadow Walker is the antag whom Will's talking to. Soliath's the one who just committed suicide and he was previously Shadow Walker's hostage (prisoner of war). Arlia is an important character who's also Will's love interest - the mention of her name makes sense in context of the whole chapter, but in the snippet by itself it seems like it's come out of nowhere. The reason Will thinks of her is because immediately before this scene, Will asks for Arlia's help and she essentially says no, so Will feels betrayed by just about everyone at this point. (oh and Gilead's Arlia's dad and Will's just discovered Gilead's lied to him all along. And dryads... My, I never realised how loaded this snippet was till now It's near the end of the novel...) Betrayal was the theme of the day. The smell of burnt dryad flesh at the back of the barracks was still fresh in his lungs. The timing and manner of Arlia’s injury and Soliath’s suicide were too much of a coincidence. Shadow Walker had made him do it. Will was sure of it. Soliath was just collateral to Shadow Walker – weren’t they all in this ugly little game? Gilead. Shadow Walker. They were all the same. Arlia. “I’m on nobody’s side,” Will said. “That’s an interesting development. What changed?” “Nothing that concerns you.” “So what do you want?” To free the dryads from the prison you built them, you piece of shit. “What’s it to you?”
Ha! Shit. That's embarrassing. Didn't even think twice about it. I honestly don't have any problem whatsoever with a male MC who eschews profanity. I would keep the profanity/insult. Given all the thought which has gone into this thread (funny stuff), I think you'd be a real... bum face if you backed out now. No doubt someone will help you nail it now you've provided context.
If you want to show offense I always say use disgust words. For more timid insults how about trying things like “you flameless fire”, “featherless peacock”, “wingless fly”, “eyeless spider”, “paperless scribe”, “blackened light”, “babeless manwhore”, “silent blatherer” you can add on the suffix -monger to great effect too. Just thought of one for goat shagger ... “goat jostler” It can be good to think of the speakers occupation too. For example a blacksmith may add “rusty”, “honed”, “tempered” or “unpolished” to their insult.
For soe reason “shit filled vomit” fit when I read your excerpt seems like “piece of shit” lacked the amount of venom I’d have expected from such circumstances.
You could always say bullspit or firespit. Barnacles, drat, darn, dang etc for saying something in frustration. Star Wars uses kark for the F word and one other one that I forgot.
In The Witcher III, plough in verb form is used as much as the f word in such contexts. Not original I admit but I found it interesting
These kinds of conversations are always the best So the piece of shit in his thoughts in the last line is what we are talking about? I think it fits. I can imagine the tone very well and it carries enough contempt for the situation. If you change it, maybe keep it about the same length. A shorter one wouldn't fit the rhythm of the sentence; if that makes any sense. Nah, I got a good scare and something like this isn't good for the bow either but other than that everything's fine. I don't understand the first part of your question - do you mean why I still do it? Or how I haven't killed myself already doing it
Given the context, I actually struggle to view any word that isn't short and to the point quite unnatural for that situation. I'd never be so fanciful with my language in a state of grief. I won't go in depth, as this is quite a light-hearted thread, but from my own experience it is more natural to be frustrated and to struggle to overly communicate the thoughts in ones head. Now, given that this is a story you can't just have no dialogue and only exposition to build tension, but I woudn't be calling someone a son of a whore because it just sounds like an 'insult of the day' "You...how could you..you self-centred piece of shit.' The tone would convey all you needed there, without someone laughing hysterically at 'goat banger' as if this is a discussion between two teenage potheads desperate to one-up.
