I suspect like many on here I'm at my 'happiest' when I have a creative outlet to which I can turn. That said, however, I often wonder if the very creativeness itself is more a curse than a gift. When I grow bored of a particular creative pursuit (and I always do) I often slump into a depression. On the surface the solution sounds simple; find another outlet. But this is only a small part of the problem, the other my being void of the desire itself. Some may consider this not to be a problem at all. I mean, if there's no desire to be creative, how can I possibly miss it? And yet I do. Creativity for me isn't something I chose. It's in my genes. It's my Prozac without any of the nasty side-effects, and so when that desire sinks away my whole being feels robbed. I honestly suspect I would be an all-round happier person without my creative yearnings and needs.
I totally understand this. You have my empathy. I hate writing...Despise it, actually. As an art form I get very little joy out of it. Yet it's something I'm driven to do. I've been writing since age six, and not doing it makes me far more unhappy than doing it. So, I spend a lot of focus on the aspects of it that I enjoy: challenges ("Can I write a novel?") and research. I also occasionally switch to other creative outlets. But, I wouldn't want to be someone who's not creative, because that would be incredibly boring.
Ah, but would it? This is my whole point. You imagine it would be boring, but the only reason you think that way is because you're imagining not being creative from the perspective of a creative person. If we didn't have that... gene/desire, call it what you will, we wouldn't miss it. Being creatively 'dry' is not the same as not being a creative person.
No...It's because I find people who aren't creative to be incredibly boring and lacking spark, and I wouldn't want to be one of them.
I'm a bit spoiled in the creativity department. My work requires highly creative individuals to invent various methods and equipment to troubleshoot or improve very complicated machines. Everyday is different, and creativity is the only way to survive. It's excellent having something different to figure out everyday, but it can be it's own curse. I will never be effective in a repetitive job. I get bored too easily. This translates to writing as well. I find it incredibly difficult to write a novel. I like my ideas, and roll with them, but then simply get slightly bored with them and move on to another wildly different subject. It's a rabbit hole of new mini projects dropping me down layers and layers. I'm only really able to write short stories and poems because of this, and I find editing to be equivalent to slow torture. Usually if I edit something, it's months after I wrote it. When I've regained interest. I really need to break free of this, and I'm worried I never will. It's kind of depressing knowing how much I want to write novels, but being constantly pulled every which way by an eclectic mind. But at least my life isn't boring.
I very much relate to this and chose my profession accordingly. Creative problem solving and working with other creative people makes me thrive. As to your novel conundrum...Once I looked at it as a challenge to be conquered, it was far less daunting. Perhaps a similar approach might work for you as well? I never thought of this until I read your post, but I really do think of the act of completing my novel as a problem to be solved.
Yes! Especially if your job is fast-paced. Starting during a period of downtime, such as a two-week vacation, so you can get a rhythm going and have a nice portion written at the end of it might help keep you going. Seeing those tangible "results" may help you trick yourself into thinking. "Part of this problem is solved! Gotta keep going until it's finished!" I think that's what's working with mine. Creativity really is kind of a mind game... ETA: Judd, to answer the question in your thread title, I'm going to say "gift". Originally I would have said "50/50" but meeting and talking with other creative people tips the scale over to "gift". I hope there's an aspect to your own creative life that does that for you as well.
Unfortunately I work with the non-creatives you mentioned a couple of posts ago. Break times in their company is tough. They talk a lot and say nothing. It's all gossip and name-calling of people who aren't there to defend themselves. I just sit there and say nothing unless I'm invited to do so - and even then it's little more than me just letting them hear what they want to hear. I laugh politely and throw in the odd contribution if I'm in the mood, but 90% of the time I wish I was on my own.
Ah. I'm sorry, Judd. Being the only one in a situation can be miserable. It was a similar experience when I was away working on my mother's house last year. I don't know anyone there who is creative, and the "socializing" was similar to what you describe. (Before I go back I'm going to try to ferret out a writer's group or underground music community or something.) The image titled "Marilyn's Ghost" on your website is interesting, by the way. I'm a Marilyn fan. For years people used to experience strange things at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. There were many stories of people seeing what looked like her image in a mirror.
1. It's a gift with a high prize. I can manage outside pecking orders but not inside. And outside I don't have a position but... a large area where I wander. It has showed me some of the evil side ob human beings - in a way that often makes it hart to talk human beings as human beings. 2. I do. I got it without my own deciding. But I have taken it to be my close companion and family member. "I choose to trust you, give you a good and loving home, feed you and be trustworthy to you." 3. Not me. Can't unsee, unlove or unexperience creative part of consciousness. Can't think living without it as a life. Just being or existing maybe. To live, to be alive... To me it's to create. It has been hell many times, but it has been interesting and ever changing hell with deep experiences.
Don't! Don't sell your soul by "letting them hear what they want to hear. If you speak or write, tell your thoughts, your concepts, your values, things from your inner world. They might value it or mock it. What ever they do, it tells nothing about you and everything about each of them. You can even think that while letting them hear what you think they want to hear, you keep them as a bunch of them. By opening your mind - even a bit - you help them become individual thems.
Just to be clear, I said creativity wasn't something I chose, not choose. I very much doubt it, but I agree in principal.
When I used to work at a restaurant, there was only one other person in the place that was voraciously creative; a very tall, nerdy guy named David. He showed me some things he created, and I instantly recognized them as table-top RPG props, which impressed him so much that we became instant friends. We ended up collaborating on a video game concept that didn't go anywhere because he had to quit to escape an oppressive assistant manager, and I ultimately quit because of a similar situation. I don't have a lot of good experiences with non-creative types; there are a few that have been understanding; the manager at the restaurant, for example, was okay with me writing out application and game design plans when I had all my chores caught up, and it actually made me quite productive at work because I worked toward having that creative quiet time. If I didn't get transferred to another restaurant, whose manager was a drill-sergeant wannabe who liked to train-wreck his employees at the slightest mistake, I might still be at that place today. But, I became so stressed out after the transfer that it nearly drove me to an emotional breakdown; I began having mild panic-attacks which began to grow in severity, so I had to quit. I realized, then, that my innately introverted/creative nature simply will not allow me to work with some people.
I am bi-polar. These exact cycles occur with me as well. I have discovered that the relationship between creativity and the cycles is purely associative. Creativity is just there, in whatever form, at whatever level. It is not necessarily causal or symptomatic. The simple fact is the mind attaches meaning, after an emotion, when cyclic emotions occur. It amuses me that Prozac was mentioned somewhere above, because it muffles my anxiety, but not my creativity. Fatigue or distress can cloud sex drive, or impair driving, or other things, including creativity. Take a look at cyclical things in your life. Once you establish how emotions cycle, you realize that's all they are, and you will disassociate them from a specific concern. Motivation - that's a dog with different spots.
All this goes deeper than just creativity, I think. It's very human to want something but to never find enough satisfaction in it. Addictions are a classic example -- an addict will keep chasing their addiction but it's never enough, and the side effects keep getting worse. Creativity is another kind of addiction, albeit a constructive one. We want to be creative, we find joy in it, but it wears us out too. It's hard to find a right balance. Different people want different things, and I am hesitant to think of it as either a gift or a curse. How much is acquired and how much is learned? I'm sure there is some genetic association but as with most traits it is probably a combination of genetic and environmental factors. A predisposition that can be activated and developed. While some people are not driven creatively, they surely have urges towards other things. If we didn't want things then we'd just sit around all day I suppose.
