1. blackcatpenmanship

    blackcatpenmanship New Member

    Jan 26, 2007
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    Reston VA


    Discussion in '"I never believed in hell"' started by blackcatpenmanship, Jan 26, 2007.

    I never beleived in hell until the blinding pain had begun to sink in and I found myself in my own personal hell.His lips that had been caressing my neck only moments before elliciting my excitment and moans were no longer soft and subtle but now rough and painful. The pain began to overwhelm mys sense until the pain felt blinding as if something was digging into my neck... Something jagged... as if his teeth were.. were they? Yes they were now pericing into my flesh carving their way into the arteries linning my neck. I could feel a warmth spreading over my neck slowly at first and then more and more rapidly. My eyes widened in the realization that the warmth I felt was my own blood thick and viscous was cascading from the holes he created with his teeth down my neck. I opened my mouth to protest, to scream, to shreik but found I lacked the strength. My hands dug into his back in protest when only moments ago they had been caressing the soft material of his silken shirt. I had been hesitant to be led away by this handsome stranger away form the dark dance club with its enticing music but something had seem so sweet and innocent about the man I had danced with. He had obscured my judgement by provoking the lust from within my body and convinced me to slip away with him. Now I knew as his lips those flush full lips began to close around my neck sealing the suction he had created wtih his bite that I would never leave this damp alley. My mind screamed make this stop but my vision began to blur the world around me swimming in a pool of color melting into indesernable shapes and colors. My hands fell down to my waist my whole body going limp like a rag doll his arms the only thing supporting my body. His hands grasped my strawberry blonde hair bracing my skull to keep my head from falling limp to one side or the other. I knew now as my struggle came to an end that I was destined for death. Come let the darkness embrace me I thought as the pain began to subside into dull throbbing I wasnt long for this world and if releif came with this black nothing then let it swallow me whole.
    cydney likes this.
  2. PBNJDraftNumbA

    PBNJDraftNumbA Member

    Feb 26, 2016
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    Your use of details is impeccable.

    Maybe put quotes like:
    ...screamed, "Make it stop." But...
  3. cydney

    cydney Banned

    Jul 31, 2016
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    Sydney, Australia
    Just stumbled across this. Very good!

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