1. kattypatty

    kattypatty New Member

    Jul 29, 2019
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    United Canadia Federation

    Developing An Antagonist

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by kattypatty, Aug 1, 2019.

    Hi everyone (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)/~☆I'm pretty new here so it's nice to meet u all!!

    Anyway, I'm in the early stages of outlining my novel and in need of any feedback, questions, and/or advice I could use to further develop the antagonist of my story.

    Gonna try and be as brief as possible on background as it pertains to both antagonist and MC:

    Precursor to the events of the story, the connection between MC and antagonist is that when MC is in extreme emotional stress, (in solitary confinement by the force of her parents and deprived of food) ant. will comfort them by providing food/comfort, all the while remaining a faceless and nameless entity. Antagonist is deliberate in forming a positive impression on MC in her early childhood so that MC trusts them later.

    In the current story the MC's goal is to chart the unexplored lower-stratums of her world. The "world" is a multi-country spanning cement fortress built to withstand the present ice age. At the end of her journey with her best friend,(secondary prot.) she will hope to find Haf, or pretty much the fabled exit to a habitable part of the outside. The goal of the ant. is to essentially stop MC and sec. prot. from reaching Haf by presenting the two with obstacles that challenge them both physically and emotionally while ant. orchestrates this in the background.

    Now onto the big bad:

    Lömun is a 600+ year old genderless membrane that is neither human but also nothing but human.

    I think that it would be helpful to note that Lömun is a quasi-omnipresent entity that observes almost all stratums through digital/camera-like eyes and has the body of a gelatinous membrane that can mold to any shape and harden/soften at will. They possess a brain, much like a human's, developed to form creative solutions to moral and physical problems afflicting the fortress (haven't named their world yet :^/). Simply put, they were designed by past humans to protect the inhabitants of the fortress by any means, and so were tasked with observing most areas of the world by being physically present in almost every corner of almost every stratum at all times.

    Their motivation for stopping the protagonist from completing their journey comes from both their "programming" and their innate desire for the MC's companionship and love.

    Lömun's programming derives from the conditioning they underwent during their first several decades of existence, that conditioning being the reinforcement that the human race must be preserved. A part of their definition of "preservation" was to not expose humans to the outside elements until the ice age had finished. As such, Lömun will not allow MC to supposedly die from the outside she wants to reach.

    Secondly, Lömun desires to form a bond with another person. Since their creation, Lömun has held no friendships or close relationships with anyone besides one of the laboratory workers from their early decades. Lömun ends up accidentally skewering him like a kebab during a moment of (literal) blind desperation to find him.

    (I plan on explaining this more if anyone has questions but this is already turning into a long boi post).

    So in summary, Lömun wants to find someone like them who can understand the pain that Lömun has endured throughout their life, and after centuries of searching Lömun finally decides upon pursuing our MC who goes through much similar "conditioning" while still maintaining a personality that Lömun is attracted to.

    Really sorry about the last few paragraphs being insanely rushed, but this post is getting way too long and I can talk about the ideas mentioned above in-depth later.

    I appreciate anyone who actually read all of this, and I hope u guys r able to propose any question or whatnot :^)
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2019
  2. IHaveNoName

    IHaveNoName Senior Member Community Volunteer

    Mar 15, 2016
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    The idea of an omnipresent antagonist is good, but said antag being a "genderless membrane that is neither human but also nothing but human" is weird. Setting aside for a moment what that actually means, how did such a being come about? And why such an odd being?
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2019
    deadrats and kattypatty like this.

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