Through the reading I used to do I know what a written dialogue is suppose to look like, with an indent here and a tag there. Through several Youtube clips I've come to understand some of the rules, but a few things still look wrong to me even though several people say otherwise. Like issue 1: "I have a line," he said. That's supposed to be the correct form, but while in the case of a question or exclamation one would use a question mark or exclamation point respectively, why not use a period in the above example? The line is done there. I'm not using commas to end my sentences while I write this either. Issue 2: Nobody ever told me anything about a colon. As an amateur I have the instinct to write the following: He turned around and said: "I have a line." In that example I believe the colon should be a comma, yes? Issue 3: Every clip I watched emphasised that you can never use too many "he said she said". Really? I figured that was a given and as such I prefer to use it as little as possible. Whenever I do need to remind readers who's saying what I much rather use "he hissed at her" or "she said, throwing her hands up in frustration", but apparantly that is the hallmark of an amateur.
Hmm. Let me try. Issue One - I know it makes no real sense, but that is the accepted way to punctuate dialogue. Just one of those English language conventions we stick to. There are other ways to do it, such as the use of a dash rather than quotation marks, but this is the most common form of dialogue punctuation—at least in the USA and in the UK. The exclamation mark or the question mark indicate something more than just the ending of the statement, so they substitute for the comma. Issue Two - Yes, the colon is not normally used to punctuate dialogue this way. We use a comma instead. Again, standard English usage. It doesn't necessarily make sense, but it's what we're used to. What you want to do, I presume, is present your writing so that the reader becomes absorbed in your story, and doesn't get jerked up short because of some unconventional punctuation. Of course you can certainly punctuate any way you want to, in a work of creative writing. But the consequences for flouting convention is that the changes WILL be noticed, and maybe for the wrong reasons. It's likely to interfere with the way the writing 'sits' with the reader. Issue Three - It's a matter of opinion. Personally, I think 'said' can be WAY over-used. Said said said said said said said ...boring. I think I'd go a little easy on the hissing, etc, however, because it can become silly. And it also gets problematic when people 'grin' a line of dialogue, etc. In order to work, the dialogue tag has to convey the sound of the speech itself (shouted, whispered, hissed, screamed), not what the speaker is doing as they say it (grinned, frowned, blinked, smiled.) I prefer to use the action beats instead. They don't call attention to themselves, but make it clear who is saying the line, and can convey what the speaker is doing as they speak. Example: "I don't know why you keep asking me this stupid question." Helen threw up her hands in frustration. "I've already answered it so many times."
As I am currently my biggest and only fan, I have no choice but to make the punctuation as it is supposed to be. I'll drive myself completely nuts if I use something that might look better, but is defenitely wrong. I would have used a comma behind frustration. Seems to me she's throwing up her hands while she's speaking. Well, thanks though. I'm not that far into my current hobby-project so I can still easily go back and change stuff.
The reason you use a comma is becuase when a dialogue tag is in play, the tag is part of the sentence inside the quotes. It is. I know you're sputtering as you read this, but your above example is a single sentence. "I have a line," he said. Here's how my APE teacher explained it: The reason quotes float above the word and are not down below with the rest of the punctuation is because they aren't part of that crowd. They don't alter or change sentence structure like the rest. If you were to punctuate it with a period, then you make the dialogue tag into a seperate sentence. Is "he said" a whole sentence, Wrey? No, it's not. It's a fragment. When punctuated correctly, the dialogue tag is a dependent clause. So what about the ! and ? one sometimes sees? Think of them as stage direction in this case. And, furthermore, if it were an internal thought, you would write it as: I have a line? he thought. Still one sentence. That's why. Comma, not colon here. Welcome to the grand game of Let's All Set Up Camps™. My 2p: You really should just use said when possible. I agree that the ever-growing list of alternatives (and oh how people love to share those lists) is, in fact, rather amature. The dialogue tag is and should be a mechanical concept. A nut. A bolt. A Ferrari has hundreds of nuts and bolts, but they are all hidden in places where you cannot see them because that would spoil the sex appeal. Dialogue tags are the same. They should be inconspicuous.
No, the comma wouldn't work here. You would use a comma if there was a dialogue tag, such as: The way I used it, I did not employ a dialogue tag at all. I just used an action beat. Because of the way the lines were set up, you know Helen is the speaker without being told with a 'she said' sort of thing. Instead, I just quote what she said, and then show what she's doing. It keeps the reader on track as to who is speaking, and adds a visual impression of her actions as well, so we don't need 'she said' every time she says something. It's easier than it sounds, once you get going, actually.
It's got nothing to do with the timing and everything to do with the fact that there are three (3) complete sentences there. A beat is different from a tag in that it is a complete sentence, and usually only infers who spoke by mentioning the person, not directly saying this person said.
Oh yeah, now that you mention it. Is that the way to do thoughts? I mean, ofcourse it is, you're not teaching me bullshit, but is there another acceptable way of doing it? My character's going to have a lot of thoughts, but there's also going to be a bunch of referencing to A TV Show and I've grown to understand that titles of things are also commonly in italics. Good, car talk. Shove the whole thing right in my frame of reference. Except now I'm gonna be thinking of writing a Ferrari while realistically the best I can hope for is a minivan. Tell that to the editor that's gonna have to clean up after me. ;o) Once again though, thanks for the help. These are things I probably should have learned in school and I appreciate you not rolling your eyes too loudly.
To better understand how to punctuate dialogue, rewrite the sentences without the dialogue. Helen asked why he kept asking the stupid question. Helen threw her hands up in frustration. Helen said she'd answered it many times. = "I don't know why you keep asking me this stupid question." Helen threw up her hands in frustration. "I've already answered it so many times." Helen asked why he kept asking the stupid question and threw her hands up in frustration. Helen said she'd answered it many times. = "I don't know why you keep asking me this stupid question," said Helen as she threw up her hands in frustration. "I've already answered it so many times." Helen asked why he kept asking the stupid question. Helen threw her hands up in frustration and said she'd answered it many times. = "I don't know why you keep asking me this stupid question." Helen threw up her hands in frustration and said, "I've already answered it so many times." Where the sentences end, use a full stop. If they don't end, use a comma.
Here is something you might find useful. authorlearningcenter.com/writing/fiction/w/character-development/6491/8-essential-rules-for-punctuating-dialogue---article
So, firstly, yes, your TV Show Title should be italicized. That's correct and very standardized. Whether you italicize the thought portion of an internal thought is a matter of style and preference. In self-publication, the preference in question will be your own. If the story goes through a traditional publisher, the preference may well be a matter of that publishing house's set of internal guidelines and conventions. You'll find published examples of internal thought both with and without italics and whether or not one should italicize them is one of those perennial topics that lives forever and ever because there is no one single answer.
I make no illusions that I will be published, but I wanna make it look as professional as I can, so italics it is. Thanks again.
