So there is this scene i got where one of my characters takes the MC to find new clothes to disguise himself. The character in question is the comic relief and an amateur singer known as Tif. I've been thinking how to approach this scene but the plan i have currently is that Tif would break out singing against the MC's request through the boutique turning the whole scene into a musical number. Just when the MC is beginning to enjoy it, he runs into the person he was trying to hide from right behind him. Tried a few drafts on the things but it feels way too much of an expository or something that is overly descriptive but boring to read. Wondering if anyone here knows a good way to approach a musical scene? Been told by a writer server that musical scenes don't really work outside visual media (films, games, theater)
Unless you're writing a musical, no, I don't see it working. The whole point of song and it being a musical scene is that you hear it. It's about the music. There's a chance you could make it work if you self-published digitally and actually had someone compose the actual song that readers can then listen to via their Kindle or phone or something. But getting to that point, the money involved for a book that likely won't sell (not commenting on your work - it's just the nature of self-published books), would be a lot of wasted money and time, in my opinion. All because you want one scene that could be done in a thousand other ways and be equally effective.
I think music in fiction can work. The big thing is that the focus has to remain on the story and not the music. If it's a familiar song, readers will know the song. They don't need a play by play of the lyrics or any quotes. Even for a lesser known or made up song, I think the writer still ask to ask what role the music is playing in the story. Keeping the focus on the story is what's most important. If music is a part of that, I think it's okay as long as it doesn't so much derail from the narrative. I've published more than one piece of fiction where music was a key part of the story, but those songs a character sang or whatever was not the story. It was still more focused on the why and how this music was affecting characters and/or the plot. And I kept it simple. I ended up doing more cutting around this while editing my works than I had intended or thought I wanted, but my work turned out much better for it.
Here are some lyrics you wrote for a song. They don’t help the story and move nothing along. It’s clear that you wrote them with sensitive care. There’s meaning for you, but I find it nowhere. And yes, there are thousands of stories and books, making use of this facet as “catchy”, as “hooks”, The Hobbit is famed for its musical phrases, And the good folk of Pern, they sang it in blazes. And death was dealt out in Castamerian rain, that much is true and simple and plain. If you know that last song, I’m sure it is fair to assume you also know The Maiden and the Bear. I did read the book in each of these cases, but I must tell you that in all of those places where the story-line stopped and song played instead, my reading-eye scurried on past and ahead. I think you could make such a scene work, the way you’ve described, as part and parcel with the flow of the scene, and even if you stop and give the reader verse written as verse, I’m sure there are readers who’ll squee with delight, but in the latter case, I won’t be one of them.
All good, i wanted to use this scene to introduce the readers on Tif's passion for singing as her singing ability plays a key role in future chapters. I'm not thinking so much of writing a song just for the scene but how would a musical number play out in novel form. But so far it doesn't seem to be possible to do it tastefully which is fine for me. It can always be done later on without the need for me to describe a sequence where she sings since she would be doing it away from the MC anyways. indeed i'll give it a pass haha its not that crucial anyways. Just thought it would be a fun idea haha
I think 'music' in a story works very well, if—as @deadrats points out—it keeps focus on the story. To that end, quoting a FEW song lyrics ...like the first four or six lines of a long ballad, should be enough. You can quote a few more a little later on, but make sure the impact that the song is having on the listeners or singers is paramount. Don't just quote the whole song in one big wad! While The Lord of the Rings trilogy is still my favourite series of books of all time, they did contain flaws. One of the flaws was the inclusion of those godawful elf songs, the glimmering shimmering ones. Surely a few lines would have given the flavour of what the songs contained, accompanied by the reaction of the listeners? TO THIS DAY, no matter how many times I re-read those books, I can NOT get through an entire glimmering shimmering song. I just can't. The wee ones that Bilbo sings are a bit more palatable, but they are also a lot shorter. Keep pulling back to the reaction of your characters to the music, whatever it might be, and you'll be winning this one.
I'm currently working on the chapter that has one of my three protagonists aboard a small merchant ship plying the River Loire. Adeline, all of 12-years-old, has been sent away for safekeeping as the revolution in Paris is spreading southward to their estate in Orleans... It’s evening and the Viola has dropped anchor for the night. Adeline steps on deck and for a short spell watches the men at work, then sits down and begins to play her flute. One of the men, an older fellow smoking a pipe asks if she knows any proper seafaring tunes. She knows Vivaldi, of course… “But if I catch a tune I can play it by ear,” she confidently tells the man. He leaves for a moment and returns with a fiddle. One sailor joins them with a squeeze-box and another with a mandolin. And one more completes the quintet, a young man wearing a battered straw hat will sing a little ditty that begins thusly… (still quite rough and needing more work) ‘Twas the year of sixty-nine we set out on the rolling blue And I, captn' of the good ship Venus, by Christ! ya shoulda seen us Our figurehead was a whore in bed sucking a dead man’s penis! We danced with the Devil a merry hell, plundered the Spanish Main And sent many an Englishman to Paradise, their souls gone all contrariwise We rulers of the ocean, lords of seven seas, ne’er fancied our demise… You swabs and wenches and scurvy dogs, be ye a freeman or slave ‘Tis now I tell-a-tale of haunted love, tossed to and fro upon the waves Bless me guts and warm me bones with a belly full of rum ‘Cause a mermaid will take it in her mouth, but won’t take it in her bum WOAH, she’ll slurp and suck and throw a fuck But won’t take it in the bum!
Pirate King, by Laurie King, has a bit of music, but we aren't forced to listen to lyrics. I found that it worked very well--I could hear and feel the musical situation. I include a quote, and leave in the Kindle attribution, because it's a longish quote. (If anyone feels it's too long for proper fair use discussion? Let me know.) The problem, of course, is that this works with a situation that many people know, while in a fantasy that isn't in any way based on our world, no one's going to know the song. A short time later, the violin started up, clear despite the distance. This time, the melancholy squealing was replaced by a lively tune. Twenty-one British women heard the tune; half of them shot upright and exclaimed, “The Major-General’s song!” And so it was, the proud proclamation of the father of thirteen blonde daughters, declaring his knowledge of matters vegetable, animal, and mineral. The jaunty tune rang out over the dusty pirate town, hushing its inhabitants and its prisoners alike, and when it was finished, the instrument started in on Mabel’s song to Frederic, “Poor Wandering One.” To my astonishment, a woman’s clear soprano rang out in accompaniment, and we looked around to see Bibi singing to the heavens. I hadn’t known the woman could sing a note, much less knew the score of the comic opera. After that, those who knew the words followed Holmes’ violin into a variety of the chorus numbers, and although I neither joined in nor appreciated the musicality, I... King, Laurie R.. Pirate King (with bonus short story Beekeeping for Beginners): A novel of suspense featuring Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes (Kindle Locations 3869-3876). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
First off, let me admit that I don't like musicals, be they movies, stage, opera, or whatever, and I really hate musical scenes in books. Tolkien, as mentioned upthread, provided me with ample opportunties to just skip past anything in italics. Hell, I couldn't even get past the first few lines of @Wreybies' poem/song above even though they amused me, I just don't like that sort of thing. For whatever segment of the market I represent votes resoundingly against musical scenes, I guess is what I'm saying.
