Hello! I have 2 main characters - boy and girl - who are in love, but also kind of polar opposites. The biggest difference between them is that she is highly emotional and ends up on a revenge quest after the death of her father, while he is very rational to the point of becoming absolutely cold and calculating. They both end up on opposite sides of a war, yet they still have feelings for each other. However, if they are so different, I'm beginning to wonder, how did they even end up in a relationship in the first place? Is it realistic that you would have romance between such different people?
Relationships are complex. People with very different traits can be attracted to each other and people with different, but complimentary traits work very well together. As long as they're on the same page about a few things, like being able to appreciate each others sense of humour and agreeing on how they work within their relationship, you should be good.
Opposite kinds of personalities can balance one another as well as irritate the heck out of one another. I think the more they have in common, in terms of what kinds of life goals they have, in terms of their political views, their moralities, do they want children, where to they want to live—the kinds of things that must be reasonably compatible—the better chance they've got. Go for it, and see how it works out. You won't know till you've written the story. Somebody who is shy and retiring may well be attracted to somebody who is outgoing and ebullient, and vice versa. However, if one of them is racist and one is not, or one of them wants several children and the other one doesn't want any, and one of them wants to live in the city and the other one wants to live in a cabin in the woods, and one of them likes to buy everything second-hand and only as it's needed, and the other one is extremely materialistic, one of them is a gambler while the other is very security-conscious, there are going to be problems. And even if their personalities were more alike ...both shy and retiring, both ebullient and outgoing, these other issues will make their union hard to maintain.
argh, if only I knew if this was going to end well, before starting to write it .... Thanks, guys! Will try to piece it together.
Let it evolve naturally, and see what you end up with. It doesn't necessarily need to 'end well,' does it? I'd say forcing a story relationship that doesn't feel right won't work. Letting a story end differently from the way you thought it would can sometimes produce a superior story. You say they are 'in love,' but why? And how? How did they meet? What was the attraction? Can you reproduce or evoke that attraction when you write scenes with them together? That's the trick, I think. Write scenes ...even if they aren't scenes you'll end up including in your story after all ...that allow you to watch their relationship in action. How do they behave around one another? How do they speak to each other? How do they both react to events, or to other people? Do they have a connection, in that they seem to know what the other one is thinking and feeling? If they do, how do they let the other one know they're on the same page? They can say so, or it can be more subtle.
It is realistic to an extent, but they still need some common interest. Imagine going on a first date with someone who likes fancy meals and you prefer fish and chips in from of the telly. Maybe not going to bother with many more dates. Brief relationships between polar opposites tend to go on way or the other, it's when the polar opposites become long term. My Mother and Father were polar opposites; Mum was a total extrovert and my Dad loved that she was loud, confident, opinionated, social, impulsive. My Dad was very introverted. He didn't speak unless spoken to or he had something to say. My Mum loved this. Finally she could get a word out without something shouting over the top of her (her family where extroverts) he was a good listener. He was very sensitive and aware of peoples emotions and knew his own. He was steady and cautious. But as the years went by, the things they once loved became annoying. She talked too much and could never listen, always trying to jump in a predict what you were going to say so she could get to what she had to say faster. He didn't speak, not enough conversation. She wanted people at the house all the time, he just wanted to be quiet and hang out in doors. This things went from being annoying, to things they fought over, to things they disliked in each other quite strongly. It ended in divorce. In fact I've never seen a polar opposite couple work out. They must do, I've just never seen it. Just some long term things to think about. Also, if this couple is young and inexperienced it can be easy to make “mistakes” and teen always think their first crush/boyfriend “is the real thing” but it seldom is. Your scenario of ending up on opposites sides could be due to temperament. And it's a good external conflict, but relationships are made up of internal conflicts mostly. It could also be good if you show, from the beginning, this relationship has cracks. I mean, it depends on what way you want to go. Are they your “forever” couple? Do they end up together at the end? If not, you may want to foreshadow they are ill-suited from the beginning, just so readers don't get too attached. Just my thoughts. I have no experience with personal relationships, just noticed these things about other peoples. I'm a people-watched.
Thanks for the reply! So, my idea was, that what drew her to him in the first place was that he actually cared about her intelligence and - let'S say - "inner values", as opposed to her just being pretty. They are both intellectual and I do think that makes for common themes. I'm aware that I need internal conflicts, and the war isn't really their external conflict, as they get separated, each one thinking the other one is dead. They still have feelings for each other at the end, but they can't be together, because they found things more important than their love. As such there isn't going to be a happy end. Im struggling between her shooting him and him shooting himself...
