1. Shimario

    Shimario Member

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    Does this sound interesting?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Shimario, Dec 17, 2016.

    This is just something i randomly came up with. Idk if i'll actually do anything with it,i was just curious to see if it was interesting at all.

    A bright light could be seen above the lands of Europe, as the theater of war paused for all to see.

    They wondered if it was the start of something new, but what they didn’t realize was that what they were seeing had always been there, and what that something was, was magic.

    But magic alone couldn’t produce a light this magnificent, no. Instead, it was a battle between two powerful wizards that had been raging on during the course of the day and it had just reached its climax.

    The winner was unknown, but on that day, the course of history and the world had changed forever…
     
    Simpson17866 likes this.
  2. antlad

    antlad Banned

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    For me, kind of. (It is written like the beginning of a Chinese tale.) I read it and wondered what the time period is.
    Then I came up with two outcomes, and kind of liked one of them.
    One outcome was wizards. Nope, don't care much for wizards.
    Outcome two was nature vs man. I could see the narrative going along the lines of 'then a lightning bolt hit the battlefield and the war was over at that point. People scattered and ran, afraid the gods were coming for them out of the heavens.' Then have a sense of dread about nature pervade the book.
     
  3. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    It sounds more like a teaser than the start of a story. We don't know who they are who are watching this. We don't know what the wizards are fighting over. At the end of this little passage, you tell us history changed forever, but I, as the reader, have no idea how or why. Maybe you wrote this as a springboard to help your idea take off, but I don't think the actual writing you have here really works as part of the story. Maybe it could if you wanted to work it some more. But, for now, it really doesn't include the details needed to pull readers nor give much of a sense of who any of these characters are or what is going on. But maybe writing this little bit was just for you and just what you needed to kick off this writing project.
     
  4. NiallRoach

    NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

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    No. Why? Because it's basically the start of LOTR, and not done as well as that was in the movies.
    Nameless, contactless events are so difficult to make interesting by themselves, that they may as well be impossible to.
    Have a character wanting something, even if it's just a glass of water, from the very first sentence.
     
  5. Jasmine Collins

    Jasmine Collins Member

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    I'm kind of curious to see more, but your sentence structure was a little confusing. I had trouble following it, which detracted from the drama.
     
  6. Jacquesari

    Jacquesari New Member

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    Not sure. The idea of it sort of appeals to me, but the text itself feels a bit bare to me. I don't see it in front of me and leaves me a bit cold.
    Is it setting the scene for a story, or is it a synopsis what your story could be about?
     

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