I've started writing out a story and the narration is going to be a dual effort of the same protagonist but one from the past and the present. The past version, where the series takes place, will be in normal text and her present version will be in italics. What I want to do is make it so I can Intersperse her present thoughts inside her past thoughts. I've had an idea on how to pull this off by cutting off one thought from one to switch to the other. Like this I am Tonya Harding, 36. I’m Tonya Harding, 16. I am from Trenton, New Jersey. I used to read comics, a lot. Haven’t had the time anymore. I like comics… I love comics actually. My favorite hero is– Wonderwoman, I think she was my favorite… But growing up I felt more like- Superman. Because I’m a- Metahuman. And back then I didn’t know being born was such a crime. My- Life is crazy. One day I’m listening to my dad scream his head off at my little sister over something and now- The government took me to a camp. This Camp was the beginning of the downfall of my life. Where all the brightly vivid colors of the comics dribbled away as reality poured scouring bleach all over the pages and my innocence as well. But read it yourself does it flow well enough or is there a better way to do this? I want to have her reflect and tell the story at the same time while correcting her former self.
I found this jarring, switching back and forth in the same scene... especially in the middle of a sentence. Maybe you could do one scene or chapter from the present, and the next from the past?
Yea I had this nagging doubt in my head thinking the same thing. And putting them in the same sentence would probably be worse. I think I might be going for too many style points here
Were you able to follow along well enough? I'm not gonna over abuse it it's more of something that goes on in the beginning of a chapter for a bit before it fades out to the 16 year old version.
