What would be the dumbest way for a Major Crimes Detective to get a cut requiring two dozen stitches? Not life threatening at all, just long and messy. Doesn't necessarily have to be related to his job. He's the kind of sweetheart who would do anything to help a person. He lives & works in a big city.
Something involving tripping and falling, maybe. I imagine a middle aged man, not in the best shape of his life from all the lack of sleep and stress he's under. He's going to play some indoor volleyball for some reason, help someone younger out, cuz he's such a loveable bastard. Before the match even begins, they're tossing around the ball, just warming up, everything feeling good... Someone throws the ball at him too high, he jogs backward, jumps... OH NO! They left the ball rack out! It's a crudely welded together and painted steel frame, in which they store the balls (it's on wheels). He lands with his back on one of the square tubes, the sharp corner cutting into his shirt, and opening up his skin... All the way from the bottom of his rib cage to his shoulderblade. "It's ok," he says, failing to fake a smile. "'Tis just a scratch." The kids don't get the reference. "Just let me take a look, uncle," Boris says, signaling the team captain to get the first aid kit. "Ok, if it'll make you feel better..." the detective turns around, holding up his shirt with one hand. Something drips down the sharp, yet shallow, sensation. He scowls at himself. "I've been shot, you know," he mumbles at the worried noises behind him. "It's no big deal..." I mean, it happened to me in high school, and I thought it was a pretty dumb way to get injured. Mine didn't go deep enough to need stitches, but perhaps if the frame had been constructed more crudely, with sharper edges, or if it hadn't given way, because the wheels could be locked...
The dumbest... Well there is this thing called "play stupid games, win stupid prizes". Generally people do something where it's obvious they will get hurt but for some reason they didn't realize that. Like testing how a sharp something is with your own hand and then getting a massive bloody wound.
Riding a dirt bike for the first time? It needs some getting used to even for experienced motorcyclists. It's very aggressive so you need to handle the throttle very carefully. More likely a person who thinks he's got it is gonna start off with a wheelie without having aimed to start off with a wheelie. It gets you by surprise.
My office has a bulky Health & Safety manual attached to the wall in a hard and sharp plastic box. I figure it's the greatest threat to H&S and liable to rip you open if you were to drop your pen in its vicinity. Two dozen stitches, easily.
I think the dumbest injuries come from a juxtaposition of serious and trivial - my own brother, for instance, turned a Porsche over on Brighton seafront once; amazed at his good fortune in getting off scot-free, he undid his seat-belt and fell on his head causing a nasty bump and a gash from broken glass. One Christmas I was making myself a smoothie -- a very healthy mix of seasonal fruits and berries -- but the vibrations of the liquidiser made my best kitchen knife vibrate off the worktop... the handle hit the floor first causing the blade to whip down like a guillotine onto my big toe, severing a tendon and necessitating five stitches (in one toe!) It was such a clean cut that I thought I'd got away with at first, there was just a red line, then I curled my toes downwards and the gash opened up like a special effect in a horror film. Maybe have your character inexpertly fell a tree with a huge petrol-driven chainsaw then gash his arm on the box or something similar?
Dumbest injuries I know of: Cutting wood with a chainsaw, it kicks back and is imbedded in the persons neck. Yes he did survive. Using a small hatchet to cut at some small trees, miss the tree but put the blade into his leg. Yes he did survive.
Is it the same he in both incidents? If so, I'm envious. What great inspiration for stories you must have.
No, two different people. However the guy with the chainsaw also is the guy that in the middle of winter, drove his truck pulling an EMPTY trailer over the ice to an island and cut wood. Filled up the truck and trailer tried to drive back to mainland and did not make it.
Uh...banging one's head into a shelf. Leaning down too fast without seeing something in the way and getting knocked out. Maybe he could accidentally stab himself with a knife in the evidence room. Or maybe a victim of a crime could accidentally cut him when describing the incident.
How about opening a can of something in the kitchen and slashing his hand on the edge of the lid as he folds it up? Those lids are like razors.
Slipping on a banana and bumped his head on a fragile window that shattered and scratched his arm on a sharp edge in one go. To make this more serious, he stood up after the incident and tried to chase the murderer or bad guy but lost him. It shows that even though he got a dumb injury, he can still be serious and get up and doesn't lose hope in chasing that guy.
Ok so my uncle broke his finger putting on his shoes (true story lol). Maybe your guy coukd do something normal like brushing his teeth and accidentally give himself a half glasgow smile. Maybe he's half sleep and reaches for.... Idk, a razor. Maybe he's putting on his pants and forgets he has something sharp in the pocket.
I witnessed this in high school. A student was knocking on the window and it shattered and shredded his arm. Its was so bad!
True story: I got a few stitches is my forehead when I banged it directly into the mouthpiece of a bong made from a Goldschlager bottle. It was sitting on the coffee table, I was sitting on the couch, I bent down too quickly to pick something up, and it got me right between the eyes. A half mooned shaped cut that wouldn't stop bleeding. I couldn't even think of a lie so I told the ER doctor the truth when he stitched me up.
Apparently, a Czech myth says if you put a metal spoon into a glass, it won't shatter when you pour boiling water into it. Well, a friend did this (yes, Czech). Glass shattered. Boiling water splattered. Ironically, it didn't get him, the guy making the tea. It got their toddler's foot, who then needed surgery and a few days at the hospital And yeah arm breaking through glass accidentally can be horrific. Happened to a friend's son. 15cm long cut and surgery required.
a fw years ago i dropped a chisel in the woodshop.... put my foot out to break its fall not wanting to damage the edge... sliced straight through my boot behind the toecap and into the top of my foot. a freind of mine did the exact same thing with a knife in the kitchen but instead of impaling her foot it slices down one side
Rule #4—don't get new knives without telling the crew. I used to work at an Arby's, and the beef came in plastic bags like pillowcases, that we had to slice open before cooking. Never failed, every time they'd get a new knife they didn't warn anybody and suddenly everybody was cutting the hell out of themselves. We were used to dull knives that you had to saw back and forth with for a while. Nope, guess what? Brand new sharp knife goes through the plastic instantly and into your other hand.
which reminds me a colleague of mine with a craft knife ( I think that's an exactoknife to the american bretheren) lost his patience with the tough tape on the parcel he was opening and opened the blade right out and stabbed it instead... his hand went straight up over the blade and sliced his palm open
*seeing this thread* nopenopenoPENOPE I was going in to train as a trauma surgeon a couple of years back, and the brilliant thing was that I would never have to see the actual injury occuring in real time. I would only ever have to deal with the aftermath, which was not a squeamish hell-fest. Seeing a crush injury in a journal article or in person? No big deal, it's all good. Seeing the crush injury happen, though? *horrified screaming*
I can feel you on that - i'm actually okay when it's really happening in front of me... not so much with talking about it
If I'm telling someone about an injury, that I've experienced or seen, I'm not squeamish at all about it, but if somebody else is telling me, I can get pretty freaked out (not always). I've noticed this in other people too, and realized—if somebody else is telling you about it, you conjure images that are probably far worse, plus while they're talking you have no idea how far they're going to go. The imagination creates the most horrifying images of catastrophe.
