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  1. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    Empress Theresa (moved from not happy)

    Discussion in 'Book Discussion' started by Rockatansky, Jan 15, 2020.

    @Cave Troll well, I'm taking the plunge! I'm going to try and read through Empress Theresa, and I'm blaming you for it. LOL!

    I've only just skim through chapter 3 I'm already mortified. The only thing that makes it easier is reading it as a parody Or comedy

    Edit: oh! And don't read it out loud, the horrendous grammar will throw you off. It's practically unreadable out loud
     
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  2. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    I suppose I am a little sorry for getting you to power through it.
    But at least 5 and 6 are completely optional, just an FYI. :p
    Hell, I might just skip to the last few chapters, since things don't
    seem to be going in any direction beyond: "Save us Theresa Hartley,
    you're our only hope." :p
     
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  3. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    A lot of what he wrote is optional, LOL!

    He adds all these weird little bits that have nothing to do with the plot. It is like it's his inner monologue projected onto Teresa.

    You can skip big Chucks of texts and not miss anything, so far skimming seems to make it less painful.

    Thanks for the heads up on the 5 and 6

    Edit: an example of Norman's writing , this is not from the book, it's just an example.

    Theresa was alone at home, taking a shower. It reminded her of that chilling scene from psycho where actress Janet Liegh's character, Marion Crane was murdered in the shower by Norman. To achieve a realistic scream, they dumped icy cold water on Janet without her knowledge. It was a chilling scene.
    Teresa thought she heard a noise, and feared it might be an assassin coming up the stairs.
    By the way did I mention the movie Psycho! Or that Teresa was Home Alone taking a shower by herself! Let me repeat it again. Yeah in about a chapter or two oh, we're going highlight this scene, just in case you missed it. How we may do it in the next page

    That's Norman, the last sentence being an overall example
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2020
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  4. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    Oh yeah! I also forgot to mention.

    Teresa's narcissism, pretentiousness and constant Non-God references to God ( CT will know what I mean by that) . A constant clustfuk of woe is me, they must be doing it for this reason and I need to tell my readers this reason because my readers are too dumb to get it on their own or without God people are lost AKA atheist suck. ( and don't even get me started on the reviews, just know if you hated the book you're a troll atheist, which includes me, a Christian)

    But wait, if you think this is a religious book keep in mind all the blasphemous content in it as well. Such as, comparing Theresa to Jesus and other similar comparisons

    This is the one book written by a Catholic, that both atheists and Christians can unite in panning.
     
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  5. Madman

    Madman Senior Member

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    I do not understand, how did a book like Empress Theresa get published? Did he self-publish? Traditional? I'm not very involved in the subject, and a part of me would rather avoid it entirely.

    Can someone shed some light on what happened? Did Norman bribe someone? Is he rich?

    How can seemingly garbage like that be published while others struggle? Or is it a case of BAD publicity = GOOD money? Was it a cynical choice to publish it, knowing it was terrible?
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2020
  6. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    O
    It's self-published, and it's very complicated to explain.

    I would avoid it, unless you want a headache. But for some unknown you have to hurt yourself, watch down the rabbit hole with Fred Kneudson

    The series is called down the rabbit hole, the episode is empress Theresa. And Fred is The Host
     
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  7. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    Yeah, I think Norm (though he is anything but :p) needs to get laid, cause
    he seems to detour into how 'sexy as hell' she is as often as he can, since she
    is 18 chapter 4 onwards. It might loosen up the now 40 year old virgin a bit. :D
     
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  8. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    Wait! She's 18 throughout the whole book? Everything that happens, happens in a year or is he just fail to Ager?
    .
    Norman is an old fella, but he's got some serious mental issues.

    And for being a good Catholic girl, Teresa suffers from the serious vanity and narcissism. Even at her own wedding, she wears a revealing outfit, with guests admiring an 18 year olds breasts

    Now if I were Teresa's father, first off this wedding wouldn't have happened till at least 2 years of dating. Second, anyone looks at my daughter sexually who isn't married to her, I'd kill them.
     
  9. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    Yep she is 18 when her and Mr. Boring Physics guy from the dorm.
    There is a bit that describes their wedding that denotes Norm's
    sexualization of the character in Chp. 3.

    I was gorgeous as a recently turned 18 year old. For the church
    service I wore a two piece wedding gown. A floor length wide skirt
    with spaghetti shoulder straps was made from matte duchess satin.
    Over this I had a jacket made of peekaboo cotton Venice lace that more
    or less covered my shoulders and the top half of my upper arms so as not
    to scandalize the congregation. At the reception the jacket and train came
    off and my shoulders and cleavage charmed the crowd.

    (That is literally how it is writ in the last couple pages of chapter 3, so I do
    think Norman does find Theresa to be sexy. And that isn't the only time
    he goes on about how hot she is.)
     
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  10. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    No no, I'm at that part. I already know she's 18 at her wedding after a month of dating mr. Perfectly boring.

    And of course the sexualization of Theresa at the wedding

    I mean, is she 18 throughout the whole book?
     
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  11. dbesim

    dbesim Contributor Contributor

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    @Cave Troll .. you actually got me wanting to read this book! I’m curious to see what’s so awful about it. Is this what they call “reverse psychology” ?

    Lol.
     
  12. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    No! No! Abort, abort, don't read.

    Just watch the down the rabbit hole on Empress Theresa and you'll learn all you need to know about it.

    There's also people that read the sample chapters that are made available, look for those. But do not read
     
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  13. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    I believe so, after chapter 2. At least from what I can tell
    she is an adult by that point. Or at least 17-18 in chapter
    3 when she is in college, and when she is abducted, and
    I think so for the rest of the book after that, as far as I can
    tell. Though you wouldn't know it based on how piss poor
    it is all written.

    Only if you don't feel bad about parting with $4 for a digital copy,
    cause I sure as hell wouldn't pay for a paper back version. Unless
    you happen to want to feel like a fool for spending $12 on a book
    that the author should pay you to read. :p
     
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  14. dbesim

    dbesim Contributor Contributor

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    OK. OK. Point taken.
     
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  15. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    Here is the Down The Rabbit Hole on it. :)
     
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  16. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    I felt $4 was enough damage, just in case of Norman got some self-awareness it took the book down. Do I doubt he will
     
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  17. Malisky

    Malisky Sirocco Contributor

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    Ok. I got curious too after reading your passionate chat about this book. I read the reviews and also watched a couple of reviews on YT. All I have to say is wooooow... :ohno:
     
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  18. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    I said that too, when I bought one Lyra Parish's books. Never knew a woman
    didn't know how to write women, or people in general as people. I had to delete
    it off my kindle cause I was going insane (in the bad way) with how alien and
    screwy she writes her Erotic Romances. Spooky stuff in that woman's works
    of fiction.
     
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  19. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    WOW!!! indeed
     
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  20. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    There's another book I bought, that's pretty bad however in this case it's more of a author posting a rough draft then a finished piece of work. And the worst part is this author shuts down when it comes to critique

    I bought this book too, out of fear he would take it down, which he did. So thankfully I have a copy
     
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  21. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Banned Contributor

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    I think I destroyed one lady's writing career, when she tried to nit pick about a rev I
    left on one of her Romance novels. I say I destroyed her career, cause all 12 of her books
    disappeared from amazon never to be seen again. I don't feel good about it, but we gotta
    start setting standards for what we want in a piece of fictional writing, regardless of the
    genre.
     
  22. Malisky

    Malisky Sirocco Contributor

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    Thanks CT. Now I have to check her out too. I can't sleep until I do. Going down a rabbit hole indeed. :p
     
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  23. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    Agreed, we got to start policing the self-publishing or no one will take it seriously
     
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  24. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I don't disagree on point guys but this isn't the place... in general we frown on critiquing the writing of authors that haven't asked for it and aren't here to defend themselves.

    Also you're kinda hijacking the thread, so lets call it point made and move on
     
  25. Rockatansky

    Rockatansky Banned

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    Also, sorry about the derail
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2020
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