I agree with you that I dislike both of the above sentences of eye descriptions. Feels too forced. But then again, I dislike bulks of physical detail in any book. People describe the eyes because they're the easiest - green eyes, blue eyes, grey eyes, it's easy to imagine. Now try describing someone's nose It's not half as easy if you want it to come across as attractive. It's possible - I've read it before and I've done it myself - but when I was doing it myself I spent 30min just getting the damn nose right because either it ended up sounding so cliche with metaphors like Greek statues and it was just laughable, or my character's nose came off sounding bizarre and ugly. But eyes - they're very easy really, comparatively. For me I do focus a lot on the eyes, but not necessarily eye colour. I focus on their eyes for emotions - in fact I think I do so too much. Again, I confess, it's partly because it is very easy. How much could you describe someone's body language beyond the down-turned mouth and the crossed arms? We notice far more than we are consciously aware of, and the easiest way to express this sort of "intuition" is by describing the eyes - his eyes dimmed, her eyes widened, his eyes twinkled, her eyes watered, his pupils dilated (I don't buy the dilating/constricting thing though because no one ever notices that unless you're gazing at each other) - anyway the point is: it's much easier to describe than, say, the subtle body stance that someone expresses when they're moody. For example, my husband - when he's moody, his facial expression and tone of voice are identical to when he's happy, but I can still tell a difference. I tell it from his colder responses (which are only slightly different than normal), I tell it from his lack of eye contact and his buzzing around the flat doing things (but he normally does this anyway even when he's happy). I just notice, a tightness in his expression. How the heck do I describe this in a book!? No clue. But I know how to say, "He glared" It's just very much easier! I also thoroughly agree with Jazzabel about "the more work a piece needs, the more defensive the writer" - ironic really.
It's because a lot of authors use the description of eyes to describe the character's motives or atmosphere, a lot of adjectives have connotations with them dark, opaque eyes - mysterious, ominous piercing blue eyes - bold, intimidating beady eyes - plotting, untrustworthy the description of eyes is loaded compared to the description of other facial features, imo. After all, they say the eye is the key to the soul
as a mentor of many thousands over the years i do find this being a problem with many new writers... and have to rein in their over-emphasis of eyes' color and appearance/emotional indicator-use throughout...
I think eyes get so much attention because, by their nature, they reveal alot about a person. There's just something about the way that a person's eyes that can give insight into what they're like. And associations are made based on eye color as well, like the post above notes. But, have you even noticed that when looking at another person's eyes, you can almost see when they're thinking about something, even when their facial expression is mainly unchanged? It's like they say, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. It's almost a superstitious effect that they have on people. And it's a part of the body that is universally revered, throughout culture and religion, as something special. I think that's why they get so much attention in prose, because people, in general, are fascinated with them.
No, I only mention eyes when characters are looking somewhere or making some kind of gesture, or if I make a note of dilated pupils, which are a physical indication of focus or stimulation.
Personally, yes, I do tend to notice someone's eyes or face first. Does everyone else? No. Therefore it makes sense to have some characters notice other details first. Some writing does have an over emphasis on eye color. I think it is because eyes are fun to describe because there is so much variety in color and shape. I think it is something that's okay to be mentioned now and then. Some authors seem to lean heavily on changing up their descriptions of a given eye color to emphasize the character's present emotional state. For example- ocean blue eyes wind up becoming stormy sea eyes when the character is mad. It is possible for eye color to have slight changes with mood but that is brought on by changes in pupil size. Lighter colored eyes are more known for this due to the difference in the structure of the iris. The fibers lengthening and contracting coupled with the fact that lighter color eyes bounce light back can cause slight color changes. There are many reasons for the size of a person's pupils to change and not all are in any way linked to emotion. The problem with focusing so much on the eye color all the time is that the vast majority of nonverbal communication is shown through other means. Body language is far more important that constant details on eye color. Plus I find it repetitive. I do like to be reminded details about a character now and then because it helps me visualize them better. I just don't want to be reminded every other page!
While re-drafting my WIP I've been cutting down on all unnecessary details in my attempt to speed up the pace of the story - and I consider this to be one of those 'unnecessary details'. The key reason for this is because my protagonist isn't the sort of person to notice those sorts of details in people. He's too absorbed in himself to notice details in others unless he's attracted to them. He'd be more likely to pick apart their clothing and notice flaws like blackheads and pit stains rather than focusing on their eyes. As for the MCs eye colour? Pure mystery. Even I don't know. I remembered two scenes where my MC was looking into a mirror - so I just looked them up to check: in the first chapter I mentioned the colour of the eyeliner he was using; in the second it mentioned that his eyes were bloodshot and the colour of the skin around them.
I've also thought about this. I think I thought I don't pay attention, but then I thought back to my friends and co-workers, and I could tell their eye-colors, even of those I don't interact much at work. Maybe this is an individual thing? I mean, even if a person looks someone in the eye, they might not really look-look and remember the eyecolor. Usually I notice brown eyes (cos I think they're pretty), pale-blue eyes (I only know one person who has 'em) and green eyes (cos they're rare). And my husband's eyes cos they're dark-blue which is even rarer. So maybe in a story it would make more sense to describe an eyecolor that is either unusual or bears signficance to the character who observes them, though in both cases I "filter" it through the character instead of the omniscient narrator telling it. I know I use Dark Tower as an example way too much, but King made a pretty big deal of Roland's blue eyes. I don't personally see any harm in mentioning the color. ETA: Hate to sound like a bitch, but the author should know this stuff. Even if there's some weird-ass mystery that makes no sense happening in the story, the author has to know what it's about, how it works, etc. Though I admit the eyecolor is not quite that important.
characters to life i've noticed that most of the time focus is given to the eyes in novels, rather than short stories.. but somehow i think it helps to bring the character to life- eyes being windows to the soul and all!
Eye colour is merely an aesthetic - it makes no difference to the story. I've been working with this character for three years and I rarely think about what he looks like; when I think about him I see the world from his POV and there is no need for him to describe the constants in his own appearance. At the beginning of this project I could have given every tiny detail about his appearance* but over time the less important information has slipped my mind because it's unnecessary. * in fact, I think I did in the first draft - his eye colour is probably even mentioned somewhere in there. I don't feel any urge to search for it.
In general, I agree, but it isn't necessarily so: In this story, the eye color is a key element that ties the story together. Blue.
I have to agree with Yoshiko. Of all the things he/she mentioned about the MC, eye color would be the least important. I am quite satisfied envisioning a vain man with eyeliner and bloodshot eyes (from too much partying?), who visually picks apart others for their flaws, without ever knowing his eye color. Obviously, there are exceptions. Eye color, like anything, can play a huge significance in a character and or story. But often times I feel like too much attention being paid to eye color is just some sort of fantasizing, which is not something I am into. I want a story that takes me somewhere, fast, be that physical, metaphysical, psychological, spiritual, philosophical, whatever, but no, I am not too interested in shallow pleasantries unless it is very well done. Obviously, knowing your husband/wife/lover's eye color is one thing. Extra attention to eyes in that respect can bring a certain element of romance to the story, but I think what repulses me about applying this level of attention to detail with numerous characters is that that "element of romance" sort of diffuses across the entire story, turns into fantasizing and I'm left calling the piece amateur.
I think I can speak for KaTrian here because we've talked about this: her point (most likely) was that although it doesn't matter to the story and isn't even mentioned, if someone were to ask the author what color the character's eyes are, it would be good if the author knew it, i.e. it would be good if the author knew as much about their characters/story as possible. But this is probably just a matter of opinion. I do know pretty much everything about my characters because I love planning them, and all the little details about them even if they don't make it to the story.
I am probably terribly guilty of using eyes too often in my writing. I usually have another character notice eye colour, but I could probably work on using eyes less often. However, I just did a little exercise which might be fun. Think of somebody you know, or knew, but who isn't with you at the moment. When you picture them, is it their eyes you think of first? I know it is for me, most of the time. I remember how these people look at me.
From the Egyptian Eye of Horus to Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger", thousands of years of religion, songs, poems, etc. seem to put a substantial emphasis on the importance of the eyes. If you are to use history alone, I think it it is evident that the popular view is that eyes are not just another physical feature. The significance of eyes is not reserved for humans either. Robert Shaw's description of shark eyes in the movie Jaws, Melville's description of the whale's eyes, basilisk eyes that turn you to stone...
Partying is right. I thought of a tattoo first. He has many, but the one I thought of is always visible. For a second person it was her smile I thought of first. It was the mouth for a third person, too.
That brings up a different discussion, interesting enough to warrant its own thread, for sure. How intimately does a writer need to know his characters?
That's cool, Yoshiko. I think I'll try to focus less on eyes myself, and more on these sorts of physical characteristics in future. Variety is always good, hey?
It depends really. If the point is to focus on the eyes because the character finds her/him attractive, then go for it.. Maybe the other person avoids eye contact when speaking, this also can be important in character development. Eyes are important when two people talk to each other and depending on how the person's eyes wander or don't wander, can tell a great deal more than what they are saying. Describing colour or size can be pointless unless you are purposely doing it to create a visual identifier for a character. Oh he's talking about the person with ocean blue eyes, I remember him.. Everything can have meaning if you write meaning into it.
I am writing about someone who grew up in India, so when she comes to England she's obviously going to note eye colour. I can tell you, when you live in country where the majority of people have brown eyes, coloured eyes really do have an impact, and a creepy one sometimes if they are light grey. So, I mention eyes when I'm in her POV. BUT I don't have anyone else in the novel focusing on eyes much when it's their POV because, of course, they think blue eyes are normal and nothing of particular note. I do think eyes can be overemphasised sometimes in descriptions, and you're right to say the colour isn't always the first thing about the appearance to register. I notice the shape of the face and hair first, I think.
"Eyes are the window to one's soul." Don't know who wrote that but often so true. Its what's noticed first. Unless of course you're out with friends at a "Titty Bar." And even then, once close enough, it's the eyes. Just curious........When speaking with people do you not look them in the eyes? A friend telling a joke, a pissed off boss, a wife who you know is about to say....."Not tonight, I have a headache." But the eyes give her away even before she answers. How can you not notice Marty Feildman's eyes. One is looking at you while the other is trying to spot aircraft overhead. Weird Al did a spoof song on Marty's eyes. A take-off on the song, "She's got Betty Davis Eyes." Can't imagine giving a description without eyes even at a titty bar. For example...."Her high-beams were on and they nearly poked me eyes out as she sat on me lap.
With some of main characters the eyes are indeed the window to their soul, and in one instance work as an index to the character's changing moods that helps to build suspense by giving the readers warning and insight that the other characters don't have. So they do serve a useful purpose. I do think that the amount of detail I put into his eyes is disproportionate to other characters, but not unwarranted. Also the eyes, like anything else, can be used as a reference point for describing other things: You learn a lot about the character and his looks from that, even though only his eyes are mentioned.
