1. Anthony Fox

    Anthony Fox New Member

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    Face for thought

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Anthony Fox, Aug 20, 2017.

    Hi folks,

    So I have a character that is a bit pretentious who is paid a compliment.
    She says "Thank you" but does so as if its uninteresting.
    I'm trying to convey this only by describing her facial expression.

    Anyone got any ideas?
    Thanks
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    "Mm?" Jane looked blankly at Jeff.

    "I said that your hair is like, is like the flames of the sun."

    She looked at him soberly for a moment, a moment in which she blinked once. "Thank you." Turning back to Wilbur, she asked, "So you can get the reservation?"
     
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  3. izzybot

    izzybot Transhuman Autophage Contributor

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    "Thanks," she deadpanned.

    She didn't bother to look at him. "Thanks."

    She barely raised one eyebrow. "Thanks."

    Without changing her expression, she said, "Thanks."

    Not actually seeming to register his words, she said, "Thanks."

    ------

    I went with 'thanks' because it's more simple and can be seen as flippant - not sure if that's really what you're going for or not, though. If I were doing this, I'd opt to not describe her expression or intonation much at all, but that only works if you've already established her as someone who wouldn't be interested in a compliment.
     
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  4. Anthony Fox

    Anthony Fox New Member

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    No, they're great suggestions.
    I'm still going to keep the full "Oh, thank you" because its a formal setting and she's trying to make a show of flattery without being genuine about it. It's also early in the story but I'll keep that in mind as it progresses. Thank you! (He says without changing his expression)
    Good luck with your writing
     
  5. Walking Dog

    Walking Dog Active Member

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    You specifically asked for facial expressions, so this comment may of be of no use to you. I would probably use body language and speech to convey disinterest, as facial expressions are frequently used in fakery or a patronizing fashion, anyway. And for me, this would depend upon what they are doing while having the conversation:

    Zanna and Fred sit at a table peeling shrimp.
    "You look beautiful today," said Fred, reaching for another handful of shrimp.
    "Oh, thank you," said Zanna, bunching the shrimp heads and peelings into a pile, then shaking her fingers and wiping them with a cloth. "My fingers are beginning to prune."
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2017
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