Hi I recently started writing my first Sci-fi/Fantasy novel and have a bit of an issue with the second chapter. Basically, it involves describing people enjoying a fun/tranquil place through the perspective of 2 children and their father. The only problem is, I want to introduce one of the main characters to the scene by crashing him through the wall of this entertainment dome thing, completely disrupting the peaceful and fun atmosphere. I thought it was best to use the 3 people at the start so it's not just a large infodump and it can describe movement through the scene etc. However, I now have the issue of needing the scene to be from the main character's perspective 1000 words into the chapter which is difficult, as it seems like it will confuse the reader and probably just look like sloppy writing. I'm very new to all this and have a lot to learn. Does anyone have any recommendations about how to solve this problem? Thanks
First, what does the rest of your POV sitch look like in this story? Without this, it's hard to know how to answer. If you hand me a clutch pedal for a car and ask me where it goes and what it connects to and I tell you, show you, explain to you, and then after I've spent half an hour explaining, you then show me the automatic transmission you're going to use in the car, I've wasted half an hour, because that clutch pedal doesn't fit anywhere in a car that's going to use an automatic transmission. The wording of your question tells me you understand the concepts of POV's, so what's the core POV settup of your story? Are you writing 3rd person omniscient? This part of your question smells like 3PO to me: ...but then this part tells me that maybe I'm wrong: If you're in 3rd person omniscient, it shouldn't matter, but if you're in 3rd person limited, then the question is more one of more cleanly limiting the pov and working within the constraints it demands. So.... which? Without knowing what is plausible or structurally sound, we can't really delve much deeper.
Assuming you're writing from third person limited POV, why exactly have you got 1000 words from the point of view of an unimportant character who will not occur later in the book or play a role in the plot? And if the POV character is important and does play a role in the plot, why exactly do you need to switch POVs to your MC at this point? What was the reason - story reason - for telling the chapter from the POV of the trio rather than the MC in the first place? The last time I took a scene from the POV of an unimportant character in order to be able to introduce my main character later in what I thought was a "cooler" manner, it messed everything up and the only fixes were either delete the unimportant character altogether and start over, or else make the unimportant character matter, rendering her important. In my case, she became one of four POV characters with a character arc of her own. Basically, if you start something in a character's POV, there should be good reason for this - there should be something in that POV that the reader needs to know. It should not simply "set the scene" so cooler stuff can happen afterwards. Also, what's stopping you from doing a scene break and switching POVs that way? POVs can change mid-chapter, no problem - you just need a scene break. My issue with what you're written is that you imply you started the chapter with two kids and their father all as set-up to introducing one of your main characters, and I feel that's a mistake. If the kids and dad aren't important, don't make them POV characters, because down the line your readers are gonna want these characters to come back and their stories told and if you have no intention of doing that, then that could become a problem.
Thanks for the replies. I think i'm writing in 3rd person limited but i'm not 100% sure if i'm honest... The first chapter is focused more on 1 character with them being the centre of the actions and any thoughts about the situation, but the narration tells the reader about some of the other characters and their past, and describes their reasoning behind some of their options. For example, speaking about some of the assistants in the lab: "They closed their eyes as they each put one hand on the recesses on the machine. Closing the eyes wasn’t necessary to allow for a direct neural interface but it helped them to focus, and there could be no room for error here." Am I right in thinking that's 3rd person limited as it's quite a minor thing? With regards to why I had the start of the 2nd chapter from the point of view of the family, it's because I wanted to show a tranquil scene and describe as much of it as possible as I want the reader to have a good understanding of the place, then be able to focus more on the fast paced action through it as the main character crashes through the wall into it whilst being chased. I figured that it would slow the action down too much if I spent too much of it describing everything and I wouldn't be able to show what the place was like before the chaos ensues. I thought the best way to do this was to show it from another's perspective of them enjoying the place rather than just describing how it is. Perhaps I could describe what the place is like and what various people are doing in different parts of it rather than focusing on 1 family, but I still feel like it wouldn't flow properly to suddenly switch to the main character. If i had a scene break here like you said that would probably work. How would I do that? Just put "--" on a new line or something and then carry on underneath? I also considered making some of the family main characters but i'm not sure i want to go down that route. I think either way I would need a scene break wouldn't I?
This could be 3rd person limited in this example. I'm going to make up some names for the sake of helping clarify: If the above sentence came from a scene that includes Bob, Lisa, and Charlotte and Charlotte is the focus character for the 3rd person limited POV, your sentence could still be perfectly fine. It's general information and knowledge that Charlotte could easily have and relay to us, the readers. If suddenly the next sentence is: "Bob felt uneasy. The neural link was wrong. There was an itch inside his head that had never happened before." Now we have a problem with respect to POV. If this scene has Charlotte as the focus character, Bob can say these things out loud to her, and we can know the information that way, but if this isn't information Charlotte has, then it's information we shouldn't have either. The example you gave just happens to be one that could work in either 3rd person limited or 3rd person omniscient. It's not about it being minor, but instead about what a given focus character can or should know.
Ah ok, thanks for clearing that up for me, i'm definitely writing in 3rd person limited then. Any suggestions about the problem with the 2nd chapter?
Sounds like omni to me. One character can't know what the rest of them are feeling or thinking, so it won't work as limited. Changing POV mid scene is an omni thing, too.
Wrey above me has already dealt with the point of view issues very well, so I'll skip that. I understand you want the contrast of harmony and tranquility before the main character comes in and all hell breaks loose, but giving that point of view through an utterly unimportant character who won't return later in the book - and using 1000 words at that! - is a poor idea. Readers will expect this character to return, and readers will invest and become interested in this character if you've written it well (and if you haven't written it well, you got other problems). So, assuming you write it well, your readers will now be emotionally invested in this character and will wanna know the character's story. Then you're telling the reader: hey you just wasted all that time and energy actually because this character ain't never coming back! You'll end up with disappointed readers who will by this point be more interested in your unimportant POV character and not very interested in your main character - the reader may even consider your main character a distraction because the main character is not who the reader is currently interested in. So, I'm not saying it's a bad idea to show the reader a tranquil state of affairs before the main character crashes onto the page. I am saying the way you're going about it is a very bad idea. Stick with your main character and think of other ways of showing that tranquility. Ask yourself the question: apart from it being simply a nice idea (and they're a dime a dozen), why do you want to show the reader the tranquility before the main character enters? What's the purpose? Exactly how important is it that the reader knows everything was peaceful before he comes onto the page? Or is it better just to start with the main character crashing in? Because the current way you have of doing it produces far more problems - and far bigger problems - than the problem of readers not realising things were peaceful a moment ago before the action. And, chances are, if your main character charges into a pub and the music screeches to a stop and everyone's gasping or frozen and some of them have forkfuls of food raised mid-way up towards their mouths - chances are, yes, the action has just interrupted a tranquil state of affairs. Your readers will make the connection. In short, you don't need 1000 words of nothing happening from someone who's never returning to the story, no less, in order to show that something pleasant and ordinary has been interrupted.
My suggestion is: Find a way around it. You're going to get lots of answers with people saying "I did it in my story and got away with it", and I cringe - like really cringe - every time people use the phrase got away with. You get away with a crime. You get away with shoddy workmanship. You get away with clocking in late. Nothing positive is ever gotten away with. Know what I mean? If you're picking 3rd person limited (that's the POV I myself always write in, btw), then the constraints of the POV are something you need to accept, not disregard. I agree with something that @Mckk said earlier. Are you sure you need that tranquil lead-in? Are you sure? Are you super sure? Are you super-mega-ultra sure? I tend to agree with Mckk that it's a mushy entry that's also causing you this issue with how to handle the flip of POV when the MC comes in. It feels like something that would be easier to pull off in 3rd person omniscient, where the narrator is God and can know everything there is to know, even things happening where there are no eyes to see it. In 3rd person limited you get these brushes (hands you metaphorical brushes). "But I want a big brush to gloss." "Nope." "But why not?" "That's not what you picked. You picked 3rd person limited. It gets these brushes. Make'um work. Look at Cristy's canvas. She's make'n it work. Good work, Cristy."
If the family is there purely to be generic “normal” characters, I think this is a mistake. Do they have any other purpose— that is, are they characters, or could they be swapped with a thousand other families and it wouldn’t matter? I’m thinking of movies where this happens—someone crashes into a scene of normality—and the scene of normality is usually seen as the crashing happens, rather than being given a long setup.
Re the POV swap—I’ve done it twice in my WIP, swapping midscene, with the same line of dialogue making it clear what the crossover moment is. I’m doing it again in the scene I’m writing today. And if I want to get published, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to fix all three. Even though I can claim what is IMO more excuse—the swap was between my two co-protagonists and I really want both their takes on the events in question. But I still think it’s going to have to go away.
I think i've been writing 3rd person limited because i've not gone into the heads of anyone else in chapter 1, anything i've written could have been known before hand or is general knowledge (like closing eyes not being necessary for the neural link), and other character's moods are portrayed by their actions, body language and how they are speaking. I think what everyone is saying about Chapter 2 is right, it never really felt OK to me to suddenly switch perspective like that especially if it's coming from a generic character. I'll try to re-write the scene as per your suggestions and start from the perspective of the main character being chased. I like what i've written but it's better to have consistency. Thanks for all your replies!
