Thread for the greatest insults you've ever said, heard, read, or thought that don't rely on explicit language to get the message across. I'm talking about the ones that take a second to figure out or decipher, yet are that much more satisfying. Personally, I really enjoy whenever some calls another a "walnut" when describing their thick-headedness.
[Twofer. Attributed to many different people, but this is the first version I read.] Infuriated by Disraeli in Parliamentary debate, Gladstone said: “Mr. Disraeli, you will probably die by the hangman’s noose or a vile disease.” Disraeli replied: “Sir, that depends upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.”
"Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it." "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think." "You despise me, don't you?" "Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would." "Benjamin's my friend!" "No. Benjamin is no one's friend. If Benjamin were an Ice Cream flavor, he'd be Pralines and Dick." "You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die." -SIN
I think my finest so far would have to be from my Goodreads review. "The 'erotic' elements are something akin to getting hit in the face with a phone book by a maniac singing 'I'm a little teapot'."
I have no clue how offensive this will be to others, but “Dildo Snack” is an insult I very frequently turn to, primarily to make the insulted party stop momentarily and think ‘what the hell?’
I like one of Shakespeare's insults, I can not remember it correctly right now, but it goes something like this: "I would punch you, but I am afraid to catch some disease!"
It's said that a certain politician kicks his golf ball out of the rough so often, the caddies call him 'Pele'.
