Favorite quote from your main character

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by HollowOwl, Feb 13, 2014.

  1. severine

    severine Member

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    And I, the unwitting perpetrator!
     
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  2. Bobby Burrows

    Bobby Burrows Banned Contributor

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    "Ho ho ho, don't make me laugh!"
    Smug Santa Claus.
     
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  3. S A Lee

    S A Lee Contributor Contributor

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    "I try my best to ignore prophecies, try to make them happen and it will more often than not backfire on you, try too hard to prevent them and they could become self-fulfilling."
    Dragomir, when asked about prophecies and fortune telling.
     
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  4. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    A character asks a pair of twins the age-old question ("What's it like being a twin?") and they decide to indulge him:

    "...We kind of have this instinct about each other."

    "Your twinstinct!"

    "My brain just stabbed itself to death."

    Which made me think of another one from the same pair of twins:

    "The next person who says "double trouble" to us is going to get bitch-slapped."

    "Twice."
     
  5. Bobby Burrows

    Bobby Burrows Banned Contributor

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    "Some cats believe it's bad luck if a black person crosses your path, some cats believe it's good luck."
    A house cat (having a conversation with another house cat maybe its kitten) siting outside.

    This is probably going to be a comedy sketch about cats featuring two cats having a conversation about humans.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2018
  6. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    "Who are they?" Max asked, starting at the massive army just outside the barrier.
    "They are the eternal army, they are forever attacking the barrier between reality and dream,"
    "Can we stop them?" Max turning to the ancient one.
    "Hah.. Lad, they are the eternal army, there is no stopping them,"
    "Then I will find a way!" Max exclaimed.
     
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  7. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    "Gohd! I hate this fcuking job!" Truman Jefferson Baker, the last President of the United States.
     
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  8. 18-Till-I-Die

    18-Till-I-Die Banned

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    There are several "main" characters, or focal characters, but one stands out...Lord Admiral Cain Antaris, it's a thought in one of the character's head.

    "Cain shook his head.

    He shivered with rage.

    Some part of him felt this was the Gods looking down on the Empire, and on the Mankind, and seeing they had become indulgent, weak, cuckold...and this was their punishment. 'You've become dissident, heretical. Shattered,' They said, 'This is what happens when you let the shattered take power. You break.'"
     
  9. Alasdar McNaughton

    Alasdar McNaughton New Member

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    I love it! That's my protagonist to a tittle. Great job, Mouse.
     
  10. S A Lee

    S A Lee Contributor Contributor

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    "I would say that you need to get laid, but let's face it, your kind have a God-awful record for romance."
    Dragomir mocking an angel
     
  11. Marie Elvira Biegel

    Marie Elvira Biegel New Member

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    That's very clever and well thought out... Nice :superagree:
     
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  12. 18-Till-I-Die

    18-Till-I-Die Banned

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    This is a conversation between two characters, Amy Rappaport and Dylan Hunt, the latter being the hard-nosed mercenary space fighter pilot hero of a side story and the former being his wealthy, upper-crust girlfriend who was born into corporate aristocracy. This is after they had some...foibles in their relationship, involving Amy cheating on him and Dylan accidentally conceiving a child with her sister. This is also prior to the big final battle of this story arc, which is called The Hour of Our Death, and you'll see why...


    Amy inched through the door, less afraid than angry. He stood there in pilot's armor, readying his exo-frame, as he spoke to himself alone. “Hail Mary, full of grace,” he said, “The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God—”

    “You're actually going out there?” she broke in, less asking a question and more demanding an answer; he sighed deep, shook his head, “I'm not arguing with you again Amy.”

    “No you're just committing suicide-by-alien.”

    Dylan punched the wall so hard he drew blood, “I am not arguing! Not now!” he roared. A moment passes but it seemed like a lifetime. This was the first time in her life she saw him cry. It was just a tear running down his cheek but she figured it was the first time in sixteen years he'd ever cried. “Not arguing. Not now. Sorry, just go.” he said.

    “Do you even fucking have a plan?”

    “Yes. I'm gonna pray them I'm gonna go kill that asshole Darkhan and his army,” he said, “Hopefully the former will make the latter easier. You got a better one?”

    This wasn't the first time Amy cried. It was the first time she was hysterical. She grabbed him, threw her arms around him. She cried and he and he almost trembled as he held her close. “You can't do this!” she howled, her face buried against his chest, “You can't fucking do this!” I won't let you! I order you not to go! I fucking order you not to go!”

    “I'm sorry, Amy.”


    Dylan couldn't hold it back. He cried with her.


    “Please...please, tell me you're coming back...” she said

    “I don't lie to people I care about.”

    “I love you.”

    “I...I know.”

    Dylan pushed her away, he brushes past her and walks away. He crossed himself. His helm closed. His face sealed off from the world, but she could still hear him whispering to himself as he walked away. Maybe the last words she ever would hear him say.

    “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of they womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
     
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  13. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    So did he die?
     
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  14. 18-Till-I-Die

    18-Till-I-Die Banned

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    Spoiler warning, but no, he didn't--ironically he's one of like ten people (literally ten people) who survive.
     
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  15. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    Yay!
     
  16. EBohio

    EBohio Banned

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    "You're going to need a bigger boat".
     
  17. John-Wayne

    John-Wayne Madman Extradinor Contributor

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    So this is a conversation between my MC/Maxwell and his son, Rheynor.

    "Hey, dad I have a question, I wanted to ask,"
    "What's that son,"
    "If you had to pick between saving me or Deon, who would you save,"
    "Awww.... Son, that's a silly question to ask, because either way I am a dead man. And in the unlikely hood either you or Deon get's killed, then most likely the other is also dead, which means I would have two angry women hunting me down, to kill me,"
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
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  18. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    " I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. You listening? I’ve had plenty of time to think this through. I figure, instead of killing you, I’ll just take away everything you love, everyone you care about. And when you have nothing and no one left to live for, when you come crawling back to me, begging me for it? Maybe, just maybe, I’ll kill you. Or, I could return the favor and just bury you alive, see how you like it."
     
  19. DK3654

    DK3654 Almost a Productive Member of Society Contributor

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    I have to say, this feels very bland and 'edgy' to me. Doesn't strike me as an impressive quote.
     
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  20. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    Yeah I'm pretty new to this, I have a lot of work to do
     
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  21. DK3654

    DK3654 Almost a Productive Member of Society Contributor

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    It's a respectable attempt. The last sentence is closer I'd say. The generic 'I'll take everything you love!' is pretty cheap, specific threats are better. This quote is also relatively long winded, which I'd say makes it less impactful. Blunt and to the point is more effective than being dramatic.
    My take at least.
     
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  22. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    Ok, any recommendations then? Time for a rewrite, I guess...damn
     
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  23. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Welcome aboard! :)

    Details ;)

    According to a Great Course I took on building sentences:
    • The basic structure of any sentence is “1 base clause + some number of modifying clauses”
    • The popular notion is that the base clause is the main course and that the modifiers are just table setting
    • But it’s actually the other way around; the base clause is just the skeleton, while the modifiers are the actual meat.
    Every sentence can be boiled down to “something is” or “something happens,” but we don’t want to settle for the general impression, we want to know the specific details of what makes this sentence different from other hypothetical sentences about the same situation.

    See why @DK3654 said that the “bury alive” line was the best part? Specific detail :)

    Welcome to writing :twisted:
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
  24. CVWilliam

    CVWilliam Member

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    Why can't I delete my post? If it was really that bad I'd rather not have it up here any longer
     
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  25. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    I thought it was a pretty good start :)
     

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