I've been writing for about an hour and I've just written a line that has made my day: '“What... what did the transcript say?” I ask, stumbling over my words like somebody pitching a chocolate teapot in Dragon’s Den.' If you have been writing today, have you written a line that has made you giggle, or that you just think works really well? I think mine works well because it feels like something the character would say.
I had a line that made my day, but it's not something that I came up today. My main character was on the phone talking to his mother about how bad he lived in California. “No Mom, just calling to let you know that I’m coming home.” said Jason. “Aw Honey, what made you decide on that?” Mom asked. “Do you miss here?” “No, just tired of the stress I’ve been going through lately. Life means nothing down here; People hate me so bad that I even—even got bruises on my eyes. And no one even touched me.”
Ha ha, I like that idea. There are plenty of times I've woken up in the morning, looked in the bathroom mirror and wondered why I look like I've been punched in both eyes at the same time. Nice line.
Hmm. I don't know what Dragon's Den is, and I don't really know what "pitching a chocolate teapot" might mean in that context, nor do I understand how stumbling over one's words might be like that. Do they serve chocolate tea in Dragon's Den? Or are the teapots made of chocolate? Do they pitch them when they stumble? I guess I'm too old and out of it to understand the prose of the youngsters.
Dragon's Den is a kind of entrepreneurial contestant program where stuttering millionaire-wannabes come and pitch their crazy ideas/inventions to a couple of business tycoons who then decide whether or not they're going to invest, usually after much berating.
Ya they could go on to describe what they mean like go into a description of the dragons den and why a chocolate Tea Pot would be awkward given to the dragon... probably end up a long read if so.
Hmm, I don't really like tea and I'd use tea bags anyway for a cuppa, but I'd still buy a chocolate Tea Pot. After all I buy chocolate fish! Cheers.
Hi, Actually I just wrote this today in my new Urban Fantasy WIP, and I sort of liked it. Maniya meanwhile, was standing with the agents, giving her statement, which he was certain he already knew the gist of, and most of it came down to the same five words. Never piss off a gorgon. Cheers.
Quite like this one: Maybe I’m still waiting for the right woman to come along but either way I’m happy now – in my dead end job and ex-convict shoes.
Have a good long think about what would happen if you pour boiling water on chocolate . I didn't anticipate people reading so far into a reference to Dragon's Den and a teapot made of chocolate but life can be surprising .
I would have to agree. I don't think it is a good idea to piss off a gorgon. (A gorgon is like Medusa right? ).
This gives a good image of the character; down on his luck, fresh out of prison etc, but still with a sense of humour. I like it.
IDK why but I always liked the "a priest with a gun?" line from my second crime novel when the priest saves the lead detective. It probably comes off as a lot more humorous in my head cause I got the scene envisioned so clearly. "I'm a man of results. Professionalism is overrated" was one I liked from my first crime novel. Again, probably better in my head since I got it envisioned. I am sure there were others I liked that slipped my mind. Ah, I know one, but IDK if I should repeat it here. xD (Not really profane but kind of, well....out there. xD) Yeah, these probably sound lame out of context.
I like "I'm a man of results. Professionalism is overrated." That sounds like a ine from a classic movie everybody remembers, like the line from Taxi Driver: "You lookin' at me?" . It's not about what everybody would like, it's about what sounds good in your head. You can see from my example that not everybody understood it, but it made me laugh.
Yeah, I really liked it too. (It's usage kind of makes it even better, IMO. Kind of an attempt to be self-aware of how unprofessional the cop is acting? Maybe? lol) But yeah, this guy is probably the type to utter a lot of those memorial quotes. I based him heavily off of Frank Lapidus from Lost so his personality is kind of the same. But instead of being a pilot, he's a police chief. lol (If I could ever get the same actor for the movie, I would cause the delivery would be perfect.)
