Self Awareness It almost feels like gambling. You play over and over again, every time trying to find something more entertaining that you believe is valuable than throw it in the middle of the game and call it a round. Your dice has only two faces so you do not have to be woried about what is going to happen next, because you know from the bigining what you have to lose. And you deal with it. Is this the exact same thing that you did with everyone until this point? It is horrifying to me what you can do with all this valuable things that you anyways are going to lose at some point in another game. And it is more interesting to listen your spectrum of good qualities that this ,,things" have in your own sick mind. What actually seems valuable for you are the traits that you never had. The good behaviors. Gentle, kind, naive, full of life, optimistic, shy, childlike. You toy with them around. Make them spin in vicious circles until you twist their minds in making them like you. It is your trophy and you can be proud of it and say that it's your own. But you do not like this game anymore because you fell bad. Not for them but for you. Not because you are aware of what you are doing and want to change in any way. But because you know at this point that you can get caught. It was all fun when you knew how to play innocent and get away with everything because of a sincere scene like sorry. Now you don not know how to act that way and it bugs you and you are losing again. At this game that you were so good now it only turns out that nothing it iss in your favour. Liers can not win, but cheaters can. And that is the new chapter that you are about to explore. P.S. I really don't know what this is.
