Do you find this interesting?

The robot clans are in a state of war,all fighting against one another for survival. Meanwhile, the Legion is cutting a swath through the land,destroying any clan in the way of their extremist goals to wipe out all robots and secure humanity's control over the planet.

However,a robot by the name of Douglas escapes from a Legion slave camp after years of submitting to his torturous programming. Like all robots,his mind is still human,although his body is of steel and alloy. However,unlike most robots,his mind and body are conflicted with their opposing natures,leaving Douglas an unstable wreck.

This robot,disgusted by both his human and mechanical side,may very well be the first to unite the clans and save the machines from the Legion's power and might.

 

You're going to have a job selling me on the idea that these robot clans are this invested in war upon one another when they have a shared enemy in the form of humans. Your description makes it sound like the human threat is MUCH worse than their petty faction squabbles.

Why is Douglas's status - torn between human and robot - a unique situation? If all the robots have human minds, I would think this internal dichotomy and the struggle it brings would be much more ubiquitous.

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I'm not asking you to answer those questions here. Those are the things I would hope to see resolved through the tell of your story.

 

Thank you so much for replying I've been dying to share this idea for a while now. Why is Douglas's situation unique? While I didn't specify it in my post,the idea is that the other robots do not ever recall being humans,they only know about their machine lives. However,Douglas is fully aware that his mechanical body is NOT his body,meaning he is haunted by the fact that he may have to live in a metal prison for the rest of his life. As for the Legion, I really want to convey the idea that they are much more formidable than anything the clans have ever faced. Being located by the Legion is literally the worst thing that could happen for a robot clan.

 

While you are correct about the cyborg thing,the plan I have set out for the robots is that only a very small fraction of them is human. That small part of them that is human isn't even noticeable on the outside so I thought itd be fitting to just consider them robots.

 

The whole instigating the rivalry between the clans is a good idea,I'll look into that.

 

I like the idea, but not really the story line so far. How is Douglas going to be relatable if such a small part of him is human?

 

Well, again, I'm not really looking for answers, to be honest. Just going off of your description, these are the things I would hope for the story to flesh out, to explore, and to resolve.

As @big soft moose mentions, the reasons behind the clan wars taking precedence over the larger threat of humans, that's something that should be detailed and written into the plot of your story, not answered in a simple sentence. The same for the unique situation in which Douglas finds himself (itself?).

You asked if the idea sounded interesting, right? I'm letting you know what would make it interesting for me. Don't just tell me Douglas is the lone robot who remembers his human past. Show me his situation. Let me experience it with him. Let me know what it is to be this unique, tortured being. The same with the clan wars. A simple answer is boring. A more complex interrogation of why the situation is the way it is - even if it doesn't seem to make sense on the surface because lots of real-life things don't make sense on the surface - that would be MUCH more interesting to me.

 

Thank you,your advice is incredible. I will be sure to continue this idea and flesh it out. I know now that there are many details to be made and explored,and that is what I will do. Once again,your replies have been really helpful.

 

That's a good question. While Douglas may not be fully human like you and me, I hope to make his problems and struggles relatable. Douglas is ashamed of himself and his own body. He has trouble deciding who is,this frustrates him and turns him into an angry person. I will absolutely take your question into consideration when I'm working on this story.

 

Just throwing this out here. I'm a big fan of Dragonlance, and in the first book I read, had a simiilar issue. There are two main elven factions, always arguing with each other and all that. And there are the humans. One of the main characters is Tanis, a half-elf, half-human. The humans hate his elven side, and the elves hate his human side. Neither side wants anything to do with him. Elves and humans aren't exactly friendly towards each other, either. Even so, he manages to unite the elves and humans in the war against the dark queen.

Sounds familiar? Just replace elves with robots, and it's very similar to what you're describing. I don't mean to critisize, only pointing out that the idea isn't as unique as you might think. In fact, I think it's a bit of a cliché. That doesn't mean it's not a good story. It just means it's going to take quite a bit for me to be interested in reading it. For that matter, doesn't Walking Dead deal with something similar? There are at least two human factions at war, and the zombies threatening to destroy everyone? Not a big fan of Walking Dead, only seen some episodes now and then at random.

 

Thank you for replying to my post. I do agree that my story may be somewhat cliché and that is something I'll try to change. While I also agree that clichés aren't necessarily bad,it wouldn't hurt for me to take another look at my story and try to make it more unique.

 

Unique is good, yes. Though after thinking about your idea for a while, I might have a few suggestions.

1. What mood are you going for? Take something like Robocop. At first glance, it's an amazing action movie that still holds up today. But with a small rewrite, it could easily have been a very different movie. Alex Murphy never asked to become a cyborg, or to fight crime. Now that he became Robocop, he can never tell his wife and kid that he's still alive, but he literally can't forget them, either, as his brain is part machine. With a little shift in focus, this could have been a great tragic drama, rather than an action movie. And who knows? Maybe the movie would have been all the better because of it. It could easily focus on loneliness, and never fitting in anywhere.

2. Who are the bad guys here? The humans? The robots? Both? Neither? The first post makes it seem like the humans are the villains, and the robots the good guys. But is this necessarily the whole truth? What if neither side was all good or all bad? The humans could have used robots for a long time, just like we do today. As the robots got more advanced and developed a consciousness, they became "alive". But humans might not have realised it, or even cared. To them, the robots are just machines, like they always were. That doesn't mean humans are evil. It just means most of them see robots as just machines. The robots, on the other hand, can do a lot to gain their freedom, but still trying their best to not start a war. If you do it right, it could seem like war is a human idea. Robots are not humans, and they have a very different way of thinking than humans. Humans live less than 100 years. Robots can in theory live forever. That means robots can plan far more long term than humans. They could have a plan that will let them peacefully gain their freedom in 500 years or more. Heck, they might not even have the same concept of life and death as a human. If they get destroyed, then so what? They will simply rebuild themselves.

3. Further, robots don't have the same emotions as humans. Why would a robot know what fear is? What sadness is? What joy is? If I were to have robots as a big part of a story, I would want to focus on how the robots think and feel. They certainly have emotions and feelings, but I think it would be very different from humans. For instance, if a robot is mistreated, it could want revenge. But I don't think anger has anything to do with it. It's more a case of justice. It could punish the human, and even kill it, but it wouldn't really feel anything while doing it. It's more a way to stop the human. Again, anger is a human emotion. Of course, if you want the robots to act and be more like humans, that's a different matter. I'm just saying I would have tried to make robots stand out more.

Think about the Terminator, for instance. I love the first movie, and think Arnold was doing a great job in it. Sure he's killing a lot of people, but he never does it because he's angry or upset. He's doing it to get to Sarah Connor, so he can kill her and change the time line.I do like the second movie too, but I hated how "human" he became over the years. I always preferred that he did thinks because he was programmed to do it, not because it was the right thing to do. Raising his hand in the end and giving the thumb's up was emotional, but also silly. He's a robot. What does he care if he lives or dies?

Sorry, just brainstorming here a bit.

 

It's sort of derivative. If the execution is good, the story will be good, but the idea is completely uninteresting by itself frankly. Factions, this that, one character who can solve all the problems because they are unique. Give the robot a love interest, make them look human enough, and you've got another summer flick.