1. Gman

    Gman New Member

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    Gifted - YA Sci fi

    Discussion in 'Query & Cover Letter Critique' started by Gman, Feb 5, 2020.

    Hey everyone! I'm stoked to be a part of this great forum full of so many knowledgeable people. I've been slaving away at this query letter for my first full-length novel. All feedback is appreciated!


    Dear (Agent's Name),


    GIFTED is a 75,000-word YA science fiction manuscript with series potential. It will appeal to fans of X-MEN and BATTLE ROYALE.

    Sixteen-year-old Max hates living in the Cage. He gets poked and prodded on the daily like some lab rat. The food sucks. He doesn't get much time to hang out with friends, and his family can’t visit. About the only time he feels alive is when he's learning cool new abilities like water teleportation. Think Nightcrawler but through water. He doesn’t believe he’s special, not when comparing himself with his peers. Little does he know, his new teleportation trick may hold the key to saving those he loves.

    Things get even hairier when the Director orders Max to kill his new friend, Kyro, a fellow water user, in the name of research. The Director believes the Gifted ones who kill other Gifted absorb their energy to enhance their abilities. Max doesn’t comply with his outrageous demand. Not at first. Not until the Director threatens the lives of his parents and Kyro’s little sister.

    Max must now figure out a way to escape the Cage in time to save them. But murdering his own has created an irreparable rift with his peers, and they're looking for vengeance. After confirming Max has grown more powerful since killing Kyro, the Director decides the next step in his research is to pit Gifted against Gifted in a fight to the death, and he’s designated Max as public enemy number one. But Max has learned some new tricks that gives him a clear advantage over most of his peers. Now he must make a choice: save his loved ones or save what’s left of his humanity.

    GIFTED is my first full-length manuscript. I just recently self-published a short story. I’ve included the first five pages for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.
     
  2. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Hi. Consider spending more time here, contributing to other people's work. It's bad form to start asking for critique, even if it's a query letter, before you at least meet the requirements for posting in the workshop.

    We like new members so don't be discouraged. Just consider a little giving before asking people to give to you.
     
  3. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Moderator hat on here: Welcome to the forum, Gman. It IS actually okay, as a brand-new member, to post a query letter for feedback in this particular section of the forum (the query and cover letter section.)

    As long as you are asking for assistance writing a query letter and not asking for feedback on the story you have written, you're fine.

    However the Workshop rules DO apply to posting your actual writing itself (which must be posted in the Workshop—nowhere else— and you must meet several requirements for that.) See New Member Quick Start for guidance. And also please do read our Forum Rules as well.


    Have you had a chance to read other query letter posts in this section? And maybe absorb what has been said about them? You might find some really good advice in there already that you can apply to your own query letter.

    It's also good if you formally 'introduce' yourself to the forum, via this thread. This is not a requirement, by any means, but it does help with finding your feet. It's a good idea to let us get to know you, while you get to know us.
    https://www.writingforums.org/new-member-introductions/

    Hope to see you around some other threads. If you have any trouble settling in, please don't hesitate to contact me, and I'll do what I can to help. Just click my owl avatar and 'start a conversation.' :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2020

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